My younger sister's former husband who has since passed on, I used to nickname "Freddie the Freeloader". My elder sister has been over the years, the most annoying person in my family. I don't enjoy saying this, but over the years, she has pissed off so many people in my family.
i so get this. Most every mutual friend my sister and i had over the years when we lived in same town at some point when it was just us sheepishly, apologetically said to me "I love your sister, BUT....." and complain about either the ways she tried to stage manage
their lives or how embarrassed they were to be present at one of her unhinged rants about/at someone.
And that was another annoying thing she never acknowledged those adult tantrums. And if someone actually argued with her when she read them the riot act she was one of those "Sorry we fought" people who never acknowledged she often said hurtful and/or incendiary things to people she claimed to love.
But on the plus side as i got older and stood up to her more (usually about my children and childrearing practices) i had a number of satisfying moments when after i laid out my position on whatever to her she would go quiet and then say "I never thought of that." Which was also her response when i suggested or executed a fix to something she'd been struggling with.
One of our most satisfying moments was when my then 14 month old daughter shut my sister up. Sis and i were talking at my house, boys at school, daughter playing with one of those 'creative playthings' balls that had indentations making it easier for small hands to grasp. We were standing up because my sister was always 'overbooked' and having to get somewhere else (yet she'd continue to talk to whomever she was with for 20 minutes after saying she had to go.
Then daughter says 'Ball?' we look at her she's standing in middle of living area looking around. Remembering where i last saw her with the ball i told her to look behind or under the ottoman. Well her Auntie launches into a speech about how 14 month-olds don't understand prepositions---citing the 'experts' on child development. Meanwhile my kiddo is looking behind then under the ottoman. We hear a triumphant giggly "Ball!" and look at her holding it up to show us. Sis stopped talking mid-sentence, blessed silence for a few seconds then she started babbling about how amazing that was.