Who just wants to talk about their daily lives and concerns. No politics etc

Blessed said:
Son came by to pick up some stuff I had for him. You should have seen his face lite up when he saw me in the kitchen packing up the stuff for ruebens. His wife does not make this so he is always thrilled for these sandwiches
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Love reuben sandwiches. My uncles used to own a bar/hofbrau in town and they made the best reubens using pastrami or corned beef, whichever you preferred. Unfortunately, their business closed long ago...we still talk about them.
 
When my husband's health was getting worse, I immediately swung into survival mode. I started to get rid of all unwanted
clothing, his and mine, and started clearing away all overgrown weeds and bushes. It kept me busy so I wouldn't start
grieving because I knew what the end result would be.
I never asked for help and when he eventually went into Palliative Care
I was able to spend quality time with him. I was told not to rush into things, like selling the home but I knew I had to move
to a smaller place to get my life back in order again. It was the best thing I could have done because now I was my own person, doing what I wanted to do. I have friends who can't face the idea of moving and still have their parent's "stuff" still in their
garage, leaving it all to their children to get rid of when they pass.
 
Like @seadoug, @Blessed, @PeppermintPatty and @Babs2u, I have concerns about ballooning labor and material costs for home maintenance costs.

Our 70 year old house is paid off and property taxes are reasonable thanks to Proposition 13, but we're now at the end of rainy season and need to arrange getting the outside trim painted and rain gutters repaired.

The roof is still in good condition, but for how many more years? Ditto our HVAC system.

Downsizing makes no sense, at least not as things stand with the tax code. We bought this house 40 years ago and it has appreciated considerably over that time. Same is true for any house we'd consider buying.

Whether we cashed out or immediately bought another house for exactly the amount we sold this one for, even with the $500K tax exemption, we'd be looking at a combined state and federal income tax tab of well over $100K.

The supreme irony? If we keep it until we die, (tying up a 4 bedroom house for 2 people), our children can sell the house and inherit the full proceeds, tax free. My in-laws and my mom didn't sell their homes for the very same reason.

Go figure the wisdom of our government...
 
I watched a baseball game this evening -- the first one I've seen in a couple of years since they're nearly all subscription based any more and I refuse to pay for baseball. But with T-Mobile, they offer MLB.TV for free! I found out about it by accident. I was asking Gemini AI what the cheapest subscription is that provides some of the games and it told me about the free offer. I found out about it yesterday... or it might have been two days ago, and today is the last day you can take advantage of the offer, so I signed up just in time. Thank you, Gemini AI!

There's nothing like a good baseball game. Not that the game this evening was great, but it had its moments. I'm going to follow the Yankees since I'm originally from NY, and they're a good team... because, why the hell not? They play the Mariners again tomorrow evening.
 
oscash said:
When my husband's health was getting worse, I immediately swung into survival mode. I started to get rid of all unwanted
clothing, his and mine, and started clearing away all overgrown weeds and bushes. It kept me busy so I wouldn't start
grieving because I knew what the end result would be.
I never asked for help and when he eventually went into Palliative Care
I was able to spend quality time with him. I was told not to rush into things, like selling the home but I knew I had to move
to a smaller place to get my life back in order again. It was the best thing I could have done because now I was my own person, doing what I wanted to do. I have friends who can't face the idea of moving and still have their parent's "stuff" still in their
garage, leaving it all to their children to get rid of when they pass.
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This is a lot like what I'm going through. My husband passed away in December. It was sudden but at the same time I knew this day might come as he had heart problems. He'd had quadruple bypass at age 48. Covid and prostate cancer took their tolls.
For the last three months I have been cleaning out and shredding papers. It has kept my mind busy so it has been therapeutic in a way.

I want the choice to move if I want or to stay in this house after its made safe enough.
DH was a hoarder. It's just a fact and somewhat common in older age. I would have willingly done this years ago but he couldn't handle throwing away or getting rid of anything.
Commonly these days, my kids want very little of our "stuff" although after it's cleaned out and sorted there is a lot of things I think they will take.

I think my children thought (and so did I) that I would fall apart if this time came. It has been a challenge and it's been hard and sad but I am capable and competent even through the stress.
Like you, I swung into survival mode.


I keep telling him in my mind, "Come back. Everything is taken care of. We can enjoy retirement" 😔 That's not going to happen so I'll find a different path.
 
Hearlady: Sounds like our husbands were similar. Mine refused to get rid of anything and it was all stored in our garage. It took me 3 weeks to tear up all his lottery tickets that never won a thing. I used to think, "There goes our world trip" . I think it's from his early childhood where he was one of 10 children. I was so strong in the end and my boys said they were very proud in the
way I handled everything. I don't think my 2 sisters would know how to handle things as they depend on their husbands to do everything. Good luck in all your choices.
 
Not my daily life this is more like seasonal. Summertime warm & sunny.
My wife was exceptionally happy today because she learned our neighbors were moving out. I understand from my wife 2 of the 4 women living there lost their jobs & couldn't help pay the mortgage. So they sold rather than have additional financial problems.

Probably helpful to know those 4 women dance topless. Being the helpful older guy next door of course ends. None of the 4 liked getting sunscreen on their hands so a few years ago when they saw me puttering around in my back yard they asked me if I would mind applying the sunscreen on them when they sunbathed nude. No tan lines good for topless performances.

Good natured my wife thought I would tell them to DIY. Normally when helping a neighbor with a DIY they do the work while I watch. How could I refuse when I was told by them they didn't like the feeling of sunscreen on their hands. No more mister nice guy helping those women.
 
One of my favorite pastimes is playing guitar, but if I play too much, my fretting hand hurts and I can't play for several days while waiting for whatever the hell is wrong with it to ease up. So that's the state I'm in right now. It's been three days and the pain has subsided quite a bit, but not completely.

I no longer can play tennis because of tendonitis in my shoulders and knee problems.

My vision sucks and I can't read without my eyes getting tired.

What a drag it is getting old.
 
Getting old sucks! Your mind says yes and your body says no, nope, forget it....not going to happen. Vision is blurry, get a shot in my left eye every 6 weeks.....yes a needle. Hips don't want to work in the morning. Have to pee at least once in the middle of the night. Ever dream you went pee and didn't. Kinda spooky.
Never the less I go to our gift shop every morning and get the receipts, take out the trash etc. come home and work my engineering job from my computer.
Nothing said here was meant to impress, believe me. I just stay busy as best I can with the restrictions that my body has placed on me. I believe that continuing to move through my day has a possitive effect. So I do. Wish I felt better? yes.....but I can still walk Buddy, take him to the park. Go to the grocery store. Drive to Lancaster for a 3 day get away and go to Sight and Sound for a show. My life is not what I want.....but the life I have is good at 78.
This is just meant to respond to the title of this post. Who just wants to talk. There is plenty of BS out there but very little honesty. I say again.......getting old sucks...................and we have no options. Can't run, can't make it stop and can't make it go away.
Just my thoughts
I wish you all well
bob
 
RambleTamble said:
I watched a baseball game this evening -- the first one I've seen in a couple of years since they're nearly all subscription based any more and I refuse to pay for baseball. But with T-Mobile, they offer MLB.TV for free! I found out about it by accident. I was asking Gemini AI what the cheapest subscription is that provides some of the games and it told me about the free offer. I found out about it yesterday... or it might have been two days ago, and today is the last day you can take advantage of the offer, so I signed up just in time. Thank you, Gemini AI!

There's nothing like a good baseball game. Not that the game this evening was great, but it had its moments. I'm going to follow the Yankees since I'm originally from NY, and they're a good team... because, why the hell not? They play the Mariners again tomorrow evening.
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Sometimes I read too fast.

Was thinking why in the hell are they playing the Marines.
 
Teacher Terry said:
I had my eyes done six months apart so if something bad happened to one eye I wouldn’t have had the other one done. They try and pressure you into having them done a week apart, but I refused. I know that general sedation can be dangerous if you’re older, but you are very lightly sedated for cataract surgery so I don’t think there’s any danger to your brain for that.
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:) Yes. Still, I would worry about any drug that affects the brain, including antidepressants and pain pills. I'll be glad to have this behind me (I'm about ready to bolt). 😟
 
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Knight said:
Not my daily life this is more like seasonal. Summertime warm & sunny.
My wife was exceptionally happy today because she learned our neighbors were moving out. I understand from my wife 2 of the 4 women living there lost their jobs & couldn't help pay the mortgage. So they sold rather than have additional financial problems.

Probably helpful to know those 4 women dance topless. Being the helpful older guy next door of course ends. None of the 4 liked getting sunscreen on their hands so a few years ago when they saw me puttering around in my back yard they asked me if I would mind applying the sunscreen on them when they sunbathed nude. No tan lines good for topless performances.

Good natured my wife thought I would tell them to DIY. Normally when helping a neighbor with a DIY they do the work while I watch. How could I refuse when I was told by them they didn't like the feeling of sunscreen on their hands. No more mister nice guy helping those women.
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I kinda think your wife would not go for that, helpful or not. 😁
 
I'll avoid the neighbor issue.
I'm sure the surgery will help but my left eye issues mean that I can't get both eyes done. Makes for an interesting prescription for glasses.
All that aside forget how many years you have left. Focus on tomorrow. If you can improve tomorrow then consider it.
Why accept that death is finite at this point in our lives. It is, but the day has not been decided so live your life like you did when you were in your 30's.
Tomorrow is just another day. Live it! don't sit back and moan. You're tired of talking about it and everyone is tired of listening to it.
They will have their time so move on.
Cowboy up! as they say.
Do what you can, ask for help where you can't and MOVE forward. No sympathy here and to be honest no sympathy is needed. We lived our lives. We raised our children. We did the best that we could do. Now we are at that point when death does not seem that far away. You can cave in to it or continue to live the best you can.
Get angry, get mad..............I have, but then I calm down and realize that nothing I am facing is in anyway new. We understood life early on but the consequences where later.
Now they are not.
I wish you all the best.

bob
 
I'm focused on life, not death. The end will come when it arrives. Same with aches, pains and the frailties of age. No sense spending a lot of time pondering them because they are what they are.

Mom and my in-laws were very helpful to DH & me when we were raising our children. Turned out we had the opportunity to return the favor when the ravages of age struck them. And we did so happy hearts and no resentment.

My husband and I hold relationships in high regard. We do all we can to nurture and keep our relationships clean with each other, our children, grands, relatives, friends, neighbors, customers, people we employ to work on our home, et al. Smooth connections make for a peaceful life.

As anyone in our age group knows all too well, into every life some rain must fall.
When it does, the people you've been kind to across the years will be the ones showing up, umbrellas in hand.
 
StarSong said:
I'm focused on life, not death. The end will come when it arrives. Same with aches, pains and the frailties of age. No sense spending a lot of time pondering them because they are what they are.

Mom and my in-laws were very helpful to DH & me when we were raising our children. Turned out we had the opportunity to return the favor when the ravages of age struck them. And we did so happy hearts and no resentment.

My husband and I hold relationships in high regard. We do all we can to nurture and keep our relationships clean with each other, our children, grands, relatives, friends, neighbors, customers, people we employ to work on our home, et al. Smooth connections make for a peaceful life.

As anyone in our age group knows all too well, into every life some rain must fall.
When it does, the people you've been kind to across the years will be the ones showing up, umbrellas in hand.
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I agree with you. Well said
bob
 
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