Who's in your will? All about wills.

I wrote this 3 years ago. Onne thing I keep thinking about is that nobody knows I have a will. Yeah, my brother does, but a will is just a piece of paper, it can get stolen, overlooked, misplaced, etc. How does anybody know you have a will? Two people pass away. One has a will, the other doesn't. Which one has the will? It makes a lot of difference if you're an heir. That's always bothered me about wills.
 

fuzzybuddy said:
I wrote this 3 years ago. Onne thing I keep thinking about is that nobody knows I have a will. Yeah, my brother does, but a will is just a piece of paper, it can get stolen, overlooked, misplaced, etc. How does anybody know you have a will? Two people pass away. One has a will, the other doesn't. Which one has the will? It makes a lot of difference if you're an heir. That's always bothered me about wills.
Click to expand...
After you die, nobody will want to search through your personal papers looking for your will. Wherever you decide to store it, you need to tell the person you appointed as the executor (or a trusted family member or friend) where you put it.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
Well, we can't take it with us. So, who's in your will? Do you even have a will? If not, why? And let's get to the juicy part. Who is NOT in your will? And why?
I'm single. So my will is easy. I don't have much, all going to my younger brother. But making out a will in a mixed/blended family must be a real bear of a problem.
But I do have an ex-sister-in law. I'd gladly leave her all the used bandaids I can find.
Click to expand...
I had started a thread sometime ago, looking for input on the matter of "who is NOT " in the will. We did meet with an attorney to draw up Living trusts and wills for the both of us. We ended up specifically mentioning my estranged adopted daughter, and that she would not be a beneficiary.
I agonized over this decision, even more so after seeing her at my daughter's celebration of life. We were amiable, chatted and re-connected somewhat. But she has gone on in her life, as I have and I believe neither of us wishes to re-visit the past, or construct some kind of artificial kinship again. As my daughter Angie is passed, her daughter(my granddaughter) is now an equal beneficiary, along with my son, and my wife's daughter and son.
 

In some states like mine, one needs to avoid costly to deal with probate if one does not have already have a contracted attorney which I as a peon do not. Each state has there own will laws that need to be followed. Do not have real estate but rather modest liquid assets and no children. As relatives have passed away, my wills have changed and made the last change last year. I now have 6 relatives in a self typed will per California has my signature and those of 2 witnesses and an executor. The will executor knows how to obtain the will if I pass away.
 
Last edited:
I'm big on traveling so I have had a will since the age of 40. That's 35 years now and counting. Not having a will is just plain BAD and I'll tell you why. The government is going to get most of it. I'm speaking here as a Canuck so the rest of you might be different. Here, if you don't have a will, it goes to probate court and this takes time and this takes money. Even a dated and hand-written will is better than absolutely no will.

For my wills, I always get a good lawyer. She is not cheap but at least I sleep well at night. By the way, I have changed my wills several times as the years roll by due to the fact that certain circumstances change over the years. Also, remember your will can be challenged in a court of law by greedy relatives who think they should be included or get more than they got. Wills being challenged by relatives always put a big smile on the face of lawyers because they know that they are going to make a "killing." That is one big reason why I pay good money to that lady lawyer. Like I said; I sleep well at night knowing that I have taken care of my business.
 
My nephew gets everything. I would have split it with he and my brother, but my brother went nuts over nothing. His boozing probably had something to do with it.
 
Packerjohn said:
Also, remember your will can be challenged in a court of law by greedy relatives who think they should be included or get more than they got.
Click to expand...

My mother had a clause in her will that anyone who challenged any part of the will was not able to get anything at all. I assume it was legal since some lawyer had been used I think.

I have a will, but the only thing of value is the house, and now that I'm planning to sell it, once I put the money in the bank/investment company, I need to remember to adjust the percentages of the beneficiaries for my accounts. I have my regular bank account set up with my daughter as an 'payable on death' beneficiary, and then my investments would be split among her and several charities.

I always thought if I was rich I'd donate parks, then when I was researching who to make as beneficiaries I found the 'Trust for Public Land' charity. I'd never heard of them, and still haven't donated any money to them, but I have them as a main beneficiary on my IRA so if I die before I have time to spend my money, I will be helping to donate parks. They also create 'fitness zones' in parks, which look like playgrounds for grown ups.

 
@HoneyNut and any others donating a portion to charity, be very careful how it’s worded. A few years ago a woman left her home to her daughter and the remainder of her meagre estate to a big heart charity. Problem was that she sold her home and all that money went into her bank account, i.e. her estate. All of the money went to the charity and they wouldn’t give any of it to the daughter.

Wills have to be kept up to date. The latest dated one is what is accepted by the courts. Ours are kept in a government registered centre; we keep a copy in our safe deposit box. If you keep yours with your lawyer, be confident that it would be ok in the event something happened to the office. If you keep it at home, could it be stolen or destroyed by fire?
 
Jules said:
Problem was that she sold her home and all that money went into her bank account, i.e. her estate. All of the money went to the charity and they wouldn’t give any of it to the daughter.
Click to expand...
Yes, that is a good cautionary story, I will need to update the beneficiaries' percentages on my account right away when I deposit the money, and also over the years as I spend it down, so that the desired amount will go to my daughter.
After I sell my house and reduce my stuff down to fitting in my car, there won't be anything left for the will to cover, oh except the car, gee I wonder if a person can put a beneficiary on a car title? And maybe I will buy a condo after I travel around (assuming I have enough money left to do so!). Ugh, I wonder if there is a better way than the old fashioned will method.
 
Jules said:
@HoneyNut and any others donating a portion to charity, be very careful how it’s worded. A few years ago a woman left her home to her daughter and the remainder of her meagre estate to a big heart charity. Problem was that she sold her home and all that money went into her bank account, i.e. her estate. All of the money went to the charity and they wouldn’t give any of it to the daughter.

Wills have to be kept up to date. The latest dated one is what is accepted by the courts. Ours are kept in a government registered centre; we keep a copy in our safe deposit box. If you keep yours with your lawyer, be confident that it would be ok in the event something happened to the office. If you keep it at home, could it be stolen or destroyed by fire?
Click to expand...
I've read that it's better to keep the original of the will at home and a copy in the SD box, but I see your point about what if there's a fire or it's stolen. I have my original in a fireproof box where it's unlikely to be found. I put the copy in my SD box. One example of why keeping the original at home could make sense...during the pandemic, the bank my SD box is at wasn't open for several weeks, but then again...neither were other banks or the courts. Anyway the bank let customers know that if we had to access our boxes, we'd have to call and make an appointment.
 
The copy (generally) isn’t considered legal. There’s only one valid will, the latest one signed and witnessed. We keep a copy at home with info about where everything is stored. It also mentions our plans to be cremated so they don’t get over zealous and plan a funeral, just in case they forgot what we said.
 
Jules said:
The copy (generally) isn’t considered legal. There’s only one valid will, the latest one signed and witnessed. We keep a copy at home with info about where everything is stored. It also mentions our plans to be cremated so they don’t get over zealous and plan a funeral, just in case they forgot what we said.
Click to expand...
Jules post brings up some questions for me. His wish to be cremated. He most probably will have had a funeral and burial well before his will was even read. And what if his heirs wanted him buried rather than cremated? How much legal weigh does a will have? And if there's a will sitting in drawer, what if a disinherited heir just tears it up? Wills seem more like "my last wish", if nobody objects.
 
bowmore said:
The legal words are per stirpes. This is normally an option when setting up beneficiaries.
Click to expand...
I understand that. In my original post I cautioned about making sure you have your will written the way you want any distribution to be. Boiler plate language doesn't always suit what you wish to happen.
This site offers a decent explanation of differences.

https://regnumlegacy.com/per-stirpes-vs-pro-rata/#:~:text=Per stirpes means that if,equally between the eligible beneficiaries.

Our original wills are held by the law firm that drew them up. Copies are in a safe deposit box. All 3 of our sons are on signature cards to be able to access that box.
 
Last edited:
I do not have a will. my niece is my beneficiary of my Roth IRA. She is also my health care proxy. I really do not have much in the way of other assets, as I no longer own my home. And the rest of my stuff is just that.stuff. She already knows that she can have anything she wants, and just donate or sell off other things. There is no one else who would contest or fight for anything. She already asked me if I want to give money to charity...I said to give a sum of her choosing to Lollypop Farm..a rescue I have supported for years.
 
Marie5656 said:
There is no one else who would contest or fight for anything.
Click to expand...
In BC, maybe all of Canada, if you die without a will the government takes over and charges you lots for this. They also make decisions that may or may not be what you wanted.

Can’t people buy a simple will kit that specifies what they want?
 
Jules said:
In BC, maybe all of Canada, if you die without a will the government takes over and charges you lots for this. They also make decisions that may or may not be what you wanted.

Can’t people buy a simple will kit that specifies what they want?
Click to expand...
I will ask Julie to check with her lawyer. When my husband died, there was not an issue..but maybe because I was his wife. There are will kits available in US also

Looked up dying without a will in New York. I do have another niece and a nephew, neither of who I am close with. My other nieces dad, my brother, is dead

Consequences of Dying Without a Will in New York State - The New York Community Trust (nycommunitytrust.org)
 
Last edited:
My wife is the beneficiary of my will. I never had any children with my 1st wife of 1 year before I became widowed. Then I married my 2nd wife when I was 50 and she was 40. She was divorced and had zero children from her previous marriage. We had no children together.
 
I had a will drawn up many years ago when I was still in my 50's. I don't recall why I did that but I did. It's fairly useless now since the nieces and nephews that were children then are all grown up and don't need college funding, etc. I have no children or spouse. I need to revise the existing will. My niece knows she is named as the executor. I just want any outstanding debts to be paid, the house and contents sold. I want my niece to have some compensation for her work and any money left over to go to a couple of charities.
 
If I go first my partner gets it all, with a couple of exceptions. The exceptions are those that stepped forward to
help those that needed it and continue to do so. That is it
 
Mama and I have wills in place and power of attorneys in case one of us becomes incapacitated.

No heirs so our wills state that when we are both gone everything gets split 50-50 between two local animal organizations......one is a no kill dog and cat shelter and the other is a rehab facility for injured and or mistreated animals of all types.
 
In my will everything is split between my brother&sister, his 4 kids are getting most of my furniture The rest goes to a favorite local charity
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top