Whose responsibility is it to be understood?

[Ronni]

This image was posted in the thread about gullibility, and it led me down a completely different thought trail, hence this new thread.

When you’re communicating with somebody, whose responsibility is it to make sure that what you’re saying is understood? Is it the job of the person who is receiving the communication to keep asking questions until everything becomes clear?

Or should it be the responsibility of the person delivering the communication to make sure that what they are saying is understood at the other end?

The image here is correct. Comprehension is key. Otherwise there is no communication, by definition, just talk and words.

 

[Gaer]

Sometimes you're in the middle of expounding on something, only to realize the person you're talking with has no interest. is preoccupied, or is incapable of understanding what you're trying to explain. It's an "OK. all right. time to shut up now" moment.

 

[911]

This is why a lot of people will ask the question, "Do you understand?" after they have finished stating it is what they were trying to get across.

 

[Sliverfox]

Hubby & I had words over me not understanding property tax bill.

I thought he paid. ALL of them,,nope.
Ours comes out of personal check bk.

I then asked him where is the stubs for the paid ones?

Once I got it through my head what he was getting at,,, made copies of all the paid property taxes.

 

[Manatee]

"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you"

 

[JaniceM]

This is why a lot of people will ask the question, "Do you understand?" after they have finished stating it is what they were trying to get across.

It does come off as condescending, though.

 

[Ronni]

I think some conversations are simply the one person waiting for the other person to draw a breath or finish a sentence so that they can have THEIR turn. I don't think there's any honest attempt at understanding or comprehension, just a need to get one's point across, to have their turn, to throw words around.

Honest, real communication with the aim of comprehension and understanding often takes time, patience, a degree of repetitiveness as you try and frame your thought a few different ways so that the receiver actually is able to grasp what you're saying, and a willingness to take as much time as necessary to make yourself understood by whatever means. That to me is meaningful communication.

It's not OK to just throw some words out there, and then get all huffy because there was a negative outcome due to lack of comprehension, and then be like "But I TOLD you!!" If there was no ACTUAL effort to make sure the person received and comprehended the communication, then that negative outcome is on YOU, not the person you threw the words at.

I think it's the responsibility of the person communicating to do the best they can to make sure they are being comprehended, at least if it's something important.