Why am I considered the so called "stupid one" ?

When one of the people involved, usually the main one who knows the whole story is no longer
able to tell their side, sadly we have no way of knowing the real truth. Just be thankful you got
what you needed and just the fight with DMV was frustrating enough.
Don't ever doubt yourself or your abilities, you have well proved yourself and no one knows that
better than you.
 
Blessed said:
Why, I asked, well Mom thought you might lose it.
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Just because your sister said this, it doesn‘t make it what your mother really said. Your sister may have just made up an answer off the top of her head when you asked. It more likely just a momentary decision when your mother made and never really gave it any importance. Love yourself, Blessed.
 
I don’t know if some family members do things like that out of spite or because it makes them feel important.
My older sister took everything she wanted when our parents died.
Now that my sister is gone,too, her daughter, my niece still has all of the family pictures and anything else that my sister said she would share with us.
My sister never had any of that stuff downloaded and given to us like she promised and my niece doesn’t act like she even knows us.
Her brothers, my nephews are the nicest most helpful guys you could ask for but somewhere along the line Christie got something stuck in her craw or wants to feel some kind of power at our expense.
I won’t ask her for anything again.
She isn’t cheating me out of memories because she can’t take those away but I don’t have those pictures to show my family what we looked like back when we were young.
Blessed: I think that we are in the same boat. Other family members might resent that we worked hard and had the kind of lives that they could have had but didn’t.
I’ve seen my brothers kids gloat about things they claim were handed down that I know my brother just stole from Dad.
Stuff about being handed down to the oldest to hand down to the oldest.
Didn’t matter because I could buy better things for myself and did too.
But it is like they took pleasure in trying to keep me from having anything of sentimental value.
 
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GP44 said:
don’t know if some family members do things like that out of spite or because it makes them feel important.
My older sister took everything she wanted when our parents died.
Now that my sister is gone,too, her daughter, my niece still has all of the family pictures and anything else that my sister said she would share with us.
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Maybe they do it for control. This happened to me too when Mom died. We were supposed to go through her things together and mutually agree who wanted what – never happened. Things just disappeared along with the photo albums. At first I was angry, then I realized exactly what kind of person she was and chose to step away, out of her life. I don’t need photos as reminders – my memories are enough.
 
GP44 said:
I don’t know if some family members do things like that out of spite or because it makes them feel important.
My older sister took everything she wanted when our parents died.
Now that my sister is gone,too, her daughter, my niece still has all of the family pictures and anything else that my sister said she would share with us.
My sister never had any of that stuff downloaded and given to us like she promised and my niece doesn’t act like she even knows us.
Her brothers, my nephews are the nicest most helpful guys you could ask for but somewhere along the line Christie got something stuck in her craw or wants to feel some kind of power at our expense.
I won’t ask her for anything again.
She isn’t cheating me out of memories because she can’t take those away but I don’t have those pictures to show my family what we looked like back when we were young.
Blessed: I think that we are in the same boat. Other family members might resent that we worked hard and had the kind of lives that they could have had but didn’t.
I’ve seen my brothers kids gloat about things they claim were handed down that I know my brother just stole from Dad.
Stuff about being handed down to the oldest to hand down to the oldest.
Didn’t matter because I could buy better things for myself and did too.
But it is like they took pleasure in trying to keep me from having anything of sentimental value.
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Maybe just ask her for it or ask if you can make pics of them.

My sister has all the pics because my brother gave em to her. He keeps the house clean for mom and why create extra work? He threw everything out since my dad died. Even the piano. Out with the mess.

I asked my sister if she had a pic of our 2nd cat and she looked and then made pics of all of them and sent em to me, but it was very kind from her cause it was quite some work.

My mom got old pics from her family from her sister after she died. Those were still in my mom's house. I saw them when we visited and thought: hey maybe her family likes that too. It was just a few pics. I befriended some cousins I have never even seen on Facebook and just put the pics there and they loved it cause they had never even seen them. Their parents were in it.
 
@Blessed Maybe, being the youngest, your family still see you as the baby of the family?

In families, there often is one person who is seen as the strong one and is expected to carry everyone else, then there's the delicate one who is expected to not help very much at all and the troublesome one who will never be allowed to forget the worry they caused and, of course the baby of the family who is never allowed to grow up. Families can be complex.
 
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I don't care if you think you have your soulmate or believe you know your siblings or parents inside or out, not a one of us know fully how anyone thinks or what they take or remember from a shared experience... In childhood for instance... Both can recall far different things.

We each have our own minds and interpret things differently even if raised together...

I'm a younger one in my fam but not the youngest. And then there is the oldest sib. Our relationships and understanding of each other has changed a lot over many years...

We had a lot of loss and I really thought and most agreed that our glue died when our dad died. Then we went through 3 more losses...

It really wakes most up unless nasty people... I thought our glue was gone but we kind of find a new normal. Talked more even. But are some misconceptions about each other still there? Yes. And it hurts. But I do think we appreciate other more.

I for one don't understand having to prove oneself, be better than, kids better than, more educated than, etc... I just expect all family to CARE, no games, no competition, when a sibling's kids is having a hard time or a sibling having a hard time, etc. and it has not always been the case... Not even close...

The only thing that will get anyone through is being okay with who you truly are inside imo. Doesn't mean it can't get hard, very hard and alone if others do not get who you really are and what you are really about.

But in the end and really throughout life, we are the only ones who can see to ourselves. And if one is not okay with self, and tries to be, well then, one will not be okay.

I've had so many things in my family over so many decades and just the other day I was wondering about one and if she is still doing her sh*t but then that's just been ingrained in me... In my case, she is the one whose kids have to excel, she has to have the perfect marriage, and so on and so on throughout life. I honestly don't think she can help it at times even though I believe she is better now and tries to realize. It is just so habitual to her...

Yeah, her kids did better than mine (on the surface) and so what?? I care if any of my siblings kids or my siblings have issues. I've never felt that kind of competition, it just isn't who I am. I'm shocked though when the others aren't as concerned for ALL of our kids if something happens as I am... They get a bit of a kick out of it or used to, a couple of them anyhow...

I feel we have turned a corner after a ton of loss but maybe I'm naive. I still see glimpses at times but it is habitual.

And yes, the eldest is sometimes trusted more by the parents... Maybe not trusted so much, as it's just normal for some generations to count on the oldest.
 
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