Now that I have a firm grip on senior citizenry, I'm not sure I like what kind of person I have become. First of all, because I am so old, I know almost everything from experience and I can't keep my mouth shut. Nobody likes a chatty know-it-all. I am a Republican so I only get to vote once. I sleep with two large dogs. No, one of them is not my wife. I was offered a performance of a two hour comedy show in New York City. I told them I could do the two hours but my bladder could only do an hour. My wife will back me up on that. I am an exciting senior citizen though. I drive at night, if I can stay up that late.
I have mellowed out to the point that I am barely visible. I had a nightmare that I missed seniors' day at Kroger. I am so boring that my young, beautiful, and very sexy imaginary girlfriend left me. I met an amazing young woman and I told her so. I told her she was very attractive and that she had great genes. Then I asked her if she had a grandmother. I joined a dating site. They sent me all these pictures of old women. I told them I wanted a refund, "I can date people my age without your help".
On a recent tour, I performed a live comedy show at a senior community in Arkansas. When I walked in they asked if I was one of the new residents. "STOP IT!" Most people need a microphone and a camera to do a Zoom call. I need a makeup artist, hair coloring, a cushion, a pep talk, and a B-12 shot to regain full consciousness. The Old Age Windup starts at forty years old. That's why Forty and Fifty start with an F. Sixty and seventy start with an S in case you don't have enough teeth left to say an F.
I have mellowed out to the point that I am barely visible. I had a nightmare that I missed seniors' day at Kroger. I am so boring that my young, beautiful, and very sexy imaginary girlfriend left me. I met an amazing young woman and I told her so. I told her she was very attractive and that she had great genes. Then I asked her if she had a grandmother. I joined a dating site. They sent me all these pictures of old women. I told them I wanted a refund, "I can date people my age without your help".
On a recent tour, I performed a live comedy show at a senior community in Arkansas. When I walked in they asked if I was one of the new residents. "STOP IT!" Most people need a microphone and a camera to do a Zoom call. I need a makeup artist, hair coloring, a cushion, a pep talk, and a B-12 shot to regain full consciousness. The Old Age Windup starts at forty years old. That's why Forty and Fifty start with an F. Sixty and seventy start with an S in case you don't have enough teeth left to say an F.
