Why do people start a conversation and then suddenly start talking to someone else?

Maybe something to do with volunteering? I used to volunteer at our library and there were a bunch of cliques of people who were friends with each other before they started volunteering there, so would practically talk to no one but their friends. I'm not the only one who noticed this; some other new volunteers mentioned it ("People are so unfriendly here; they won't even respond when you say 'Hello'").

The worst bunch were a bunch of elderly women who were wealthy housewives (married to doctors, judges, lawyers, bank executives, etc.) and had started volunteering there as soon as their youngest kid started school because they were bored. And hoo boy, did they act like no one else but them and their group existed. I said "Hi" to one of those women once and her mouth fell open and she stared at me in total shock.
 
officerripley said:
Maybe something to do with volunteering? I used to volunteer at our library and there were a bunch of cliques of people who were friends with each other before they started volunteering there, so would practically talk to no one but their friends. I'm not the only one who noticed this; some other new volunteers mentioned it ("People are so unfriendly here; they won't even respond when you say 'Hello'").

The worst bunch were a bunch of elderly women who were wealthy housewives (married to doctors, judges, lawyers, bank executives, etc.) and had started volunteering there as soon as their youngest kid started school because they were bored. And hoo boy, did they act like no one else but them and their group existed. I said "Hi" to one of those women once and her mouth fell open and she stared at me in total shock.
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Pfft Ripley. You should have known better than to say hello.

Translation of look: ā€œ Goodness woman, donā€™t you know your place yet? You measly pheasant you.ā€

Note: clearly Iā€™m joking/ kidding around/ being silly
 
PeppermintPatty said:
Pfft Ripley. You should have known better than to say hello.

Translation of look: ā€œ Goodness woman, donā€™t you know your place yet? You measly pheasant you.ā€

Note: clearly Iā€™m joking/ kidding around/ being silly
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Funny but true unfortunately sometimes. And now that I think about it, it's not just volunteering situations. I was in a book club a few years ago back, run by our local Barnes & Noble (big bookstore chain). The women were almost all elderly wealthy women, leading to discussions such as the following: We had read a novel which took place in Paris (France, not Texas, lol) and 1 of the women said something like, "I found the description of Paris quite lacking; I've been to Paris many times." And another women said, "Oh, I've been to Paris many, many times and I felt it was quite realistic!" And then the "can you top this" battle was on.

One time I made the mistake of mentioning I had checked out from the library that month's book and got shocked looks and "Good heavens! We have a library here in town?! I had no idea!"

Another time, I asked one of those gals if she liked having a Kindle (or maybe it was another e-reader, anyway) and she said, "Oh, heavens, yes, it's a godsend! One day this last summer, my husband walked in the house and said, 'Honey, I'm bored! Let's go to Europe!' And in the rush of getting our housesitter lined up and the airline tickets and the reservations at our favorite place in Paris, I was able to download a bunch of books onto my e-reader and just throw it in my suitcase."

Yawn.
 
officerripley said:
Funny but true unfortunately sometimes. And now that I think about it, it's not just volunteering situations. I was in a book club a few years ago back, run by our local Barnes & Noble (big bookstore chain). The women were almost all elderly wealthy women, leading to discussions such as the following: We had read a novel which took place in Paris (France, not Texas, lol) and 1 of the women said something like, "I found the description of Paris quite lacking; I've been to Paris many times." And another women said, "Oh, I've been to Paris many, many times and I felt it was quite realistic!" And then the "can you top this" battle was on.

One time I made the mistake of mentioning I had checked out from the library that month's book and got shocked looks and "Good heavens! We have a library here in town?! I had no idea!"

Another time, I asked one of those gals if she liked having a Kindle (or maybe it was another e-reader, anyway) and she said, "Oh, heavens, yes, it's a godsend! One day this last summer, my husband walked in the house and said, 'Honey, I'm bored! Let's go to Europe!' And in the rush of getting our housesitter lined up and the airline tickets and the reservations at our favorite place in Paris, I was able to download a bunch of books onto my e-reader and just throw it in my suitcase."

Yawn.
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That was hilarious!!!! šŸ¤£šŸ˜‚
 
debodun said:
I PMed a friend and asked her to speculate on why this happens. Her theories are:

1) what your saying has no interest to them
2) they catch sight of a friend or someone they know better and prefer to talk to them
3) you have horrible breath
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I think that's a pretty accurate a,b, or c assessment. And she probably put them in the right order.
 
VaughanJB said:
Speaking for myself, there are some things I needn't have an opinion about. What wallpaper to go with? Which microwave? Which vacuum to buy? Do I look good in this? We (men) don't have to have opinions about everything.
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No, you only have opinions about which car company is best, which sports team is best, which player is going to make it through the season, how to fix a broken anything, how to drive, which women are good looking and which ones aren't and why, who makes the best pizza, which political party is the only one that doesn't suck, and what women talk about.
 
officerripley said:
Maybe something to do with volunteering? I used to volunteer at our library and there were a bunch of cliques of people who were friends with each other before they started volunteering there, so would practically talk to no one but their friends. I'm not the only one who noticed this; some other new volunteers mentioned it ("People are so unfriendly here; they won't even respond when you say 'Hello'").

The worst bunch were a bunch of elderly women who were wealthy housewives (married to doctors, judges, lawyers, bank executives, etc.) and had started volunteering there as soon as their youngest kid started school because they were bored. And hoo boy, did they act like no one else but them and their group existed. I said "Hi" to one of those women once and her mouth fell open and she stared at me in total shock.
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My wife is in that situation right now. She was asked to join this non-profit organization that assists developmentally disabled people live independently. She attended her first meeting last month and met mostly wives of wealthy professionals who treated her like she was a member of the housekeeping staff who came too early.

The way Michelle explained it, "If you can't afford to donate a bunch of money, they don't understand what you could possibly have to offer."

What those snoots didn't know was, Michelle was asked to be a board member by the organization's CEO. She wants her to write all new IEPs (individualized education programs) for their all their clients. She'll be the person the whole organization relies on to keep going.
 
Della said:
No, you only have opinions about which car company is best, which sports team is best, which player is going to make it through the season, how to fix a broken anything, how to drive, which women are good looking and which ones aren't and why, who makes the best pizza, which political party is the only one that doesn't suck, and what women talk about.
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Oh yeah, if they're options I'm all good. :D
 
Della said:
No, you only have opinions about which car company is best, which sports team is best, which player is going to make it through the season, how to fix a broken anything, how to drive, which women are good looking and which ones aren't and why, who makes the best pizza, which political party is the only one that doesn't suck, and what women talk about.
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I wanted to comment again on this. I want to put on record, than in reality, I'm not a car guy. Vehicles move me from A to B, I don't care if it's a new car, old car, or whatever.

I do support a team, and I watch football (Soccer) most every weekend. However, I'm not fanatical about it, it's entertainment, that's all.

I can fix a lot when it comes to computers, routers, software issues etc, since that was my trade - but I have fully embraced the throwaway society and don't tend to repair things. Well, other than my hi-fi system where I've repaired/upgraded the turntable and CD player.

Pizza is good, but I've not had in over a year.

Politics? That's a tougher one. I think disagreement on that topic is generally not much to worry about. Except, that is, until extremism comes into play. There's a lot of extremist views in politics these days as people are radicalized through social media. So that could be a problem. :)

Of course, I have foibles. I'd struggle in a home where the TV was on all day. PLUS - I can sometimes be an a-hole.
 
Depending on where it happens, it can be frustrating.

However, we were told that at meal times, as children of the hosts at home, or with other children at lunch cafeterias, we had to make conversations with person on the left, then the right and flowing around the table.

Therefore, including everyone into the conversations. It was interaction at its best, where no one was left out. We accepted negative and positive comments and respected all.

It was a way to communicate and learn about everyday life's situations that some might have found difficult speaking outloud about.

Such as discovering why it was so painful for Lynette to sit down (we got her a cushion and eventually her situation at home was changed since the adults at school, were listening in, great results).

Davinia's hands looked positively scaly. She was at first, reluctant to tell but we found out what her parents used for washing dishes and floors. We got the school's nurse to find an emollient cream which we contributed towards costs.

Eye opening conversation as we found out she was an orphan living in a large foster home where some practices were detrimental to children.

Sorry, getting away, just remembering those amazing wee chats round the tables at school's lunchtimes.

But, many people are still wired to make small talk and then walk away. Providing they've a smile and make you smile, well it's uplifting.

Sorry, if it offend you, most don't mean harm...
 
There are friends, and there are acquaintances. I have many of the latter, and few of the former. If someone is given the quick brush-off, it could be that you are more of an acquaintance or casual passing contact to that person than regarded as a friend.

Even among friends, many people Iā€™ve noted prioritize them. Iā€™ve had people talk to me if Iā€™m the only person around, then drop me immediately when a preferred ā€œTier Oneā€ friend appears. Itā€™s possible to be a social place marker to people, someone that they engage with if a preferred contact is not available. They are simply marking time with you until someone they see as better or preferable appears.

This doesnā€™t bother me. Iā€™m hardly a herd animal, anyways, and would rather be at home In my comfy den. Many humans are best observed at a distanceā€¦
 
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Fyrefox said:
There are friends, and there are acquaintances. I have many of the latter, and few of the former. If someone is given the quick brush-off, it could be that you are more of an acquaintance or casual passing contact to that person than regarded as a friend.

Even among friends, many people Iā€™ve noted prioritize them. Iā€™ve had people talk to me if Iā€™m the only person around, then drop me immediately when a preferred ā€œTier Oneā€ friend appears. Itā€™s possible to be a social place marker to people, someone that they engage with if a preferred contact is not available. They are simply marking time with you until someone they see as better or preferable appears.

This doesnā€™t bother me. Iā€™m hardly a herd animal, anyways, and would rather be at home In my comfy den. Many humans are best observed at a distanceā€¦
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Exactly what I've experienced. It does bother me, however, although less than it used to; I've given up somewhat on human relationships.

I certainly wished I'd learned much earlier that when running into someone at the store or wherever, even if you considered them a friend rather than an acquaintance, that there are only 2 acceptable responses to them saying, "How are you?" 1) "Great! How are you?" 2) "Okay. How are you?" (Response 2 is given if you're doing horribly, even a death in the family, etc., because they don't want to really hear how you're doing; they want to talk about their latest trip to Europe, their grandkid getting a scholarship, etc. Which is why you need to always add "How are you?")
 

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