Irwin
Well-known Member
- Location
- Denver, Colorado, U.S.A.
Posted by accident.
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Why do some people find pleasure in hurting other people's feelings?
It's usually because they don't have the capacity to say anything pleasant, so they get their 'jollies' from insulting people. Ignoring them gets them angry, so does a swift elbow (accidentally on purpose) in the ribs.![]()
Many reasons, they do not respect themselves so they show little or no respect for others.
Or in one case I know the meanie became that way when she started to go deaf, striking out because she felt imperfect.
Sometimes physical pain can bring on a person causing mental pain for others.
Any number of reasons.
Quite a few members of SF have felt the need to insult other members. Thankfully, this forum is well moderated, so it doesn't get out of hand, but if you look at other forums — especially political forums — it's like an insultfest. Not my idea of a good time.
I think part of it is laziness. It's a lot easier to insult someone than to articulate a cogent argument defining and defending your opinion.
It could also be a power trip. Some people get off on having power over others, and that's what they accomplish by bullying someone.
Boredom.
For some odd reason, some people are bored if there isn't fighting, drama, gossip, and conversations-run-amok at all times.
You may not see it immediately but rude people who show no respect for others' feelings or situations, usually end up alone with nobody. If you have someone like that in your life, one day you just say that is enough. I had to do that with my own niece. Sad to say, but she finally learned that due to the way she talked and treated her family members she is now alone. I don't usually fight it out with someone, I just stay away from them. Or on a forum if I see one post or comment going that way with others and I am out of there.
If you aren't a decent conversationalist, its easy to focus on just slip sliding into making or posting negative comments. Complaining, for instance, can set the stage for a lengthy discussion that can easily turn nasty.
Personally, I try to focus on the positive in order to avoid that kind of useless banter.
But you have to have a positive attitude in order to keep the energy up, even when someone may attack you for no apparent reason.
I think people that get pleasure out of hurting others make them feel secure. Hoping the other person who they hurt will feel insecure.
In my experience it did not concern someone who could not defend themselves because it was me. Instead of arguing and fighting over the many issues, I just cut her off from my life. When I did that, her father did the same thing. It is not so much that I could not stand up to her as that I did not want to anymore. My life improved immediately.Thank you for your reply! I guess that would finally happen to someone who enjoys hurting others. I can think of, at least, one case that this happened to me. This woman was so mean to her father that I decided to stop paying any attention to her. What would you do if the person being hurt is unable (because of whatever reason) to defend themselves? Would you speak up for them are you non-confrontational anyway?
In my experience it did not concern someone who could not defend themselves because it was me. Instead of arguing and fighting over the many issues, I just cut her off from my life. When I did that, her father did the same thing. It is not so much that I could not stand up to her as that I did not want to anymore. My life improved immediately.
That's very deep. Are Politicians animalsPeople that shame others usally want something from the person they are shaming or want to control that person. In the last couple of days I have seen some documentaries dealing with the souls or spirits of people. Some people are more spiritual and some people are more animal. I have been wondering if there could be some people that realy have no spirit or soul. They are just as much animals as lions or bears and live among us without us realizng it.
Most of the time I can...probably the reason why is that I've trained myself to first ask "why" - like "why" are they saying this just to be sure I haven't inadvertently prompted it someway. Usually don't know why so simply reply with a post to change the subject. If they persist then I might say "time to leave now, try to have a nice day."Thank you for your insight!
Do you have the strength to remain positive/kind towards someone even if they are being negative/unkind towards you? It takes a person a lot of self-confidence to turn the other cheek or even responding with kindness!
Most of the time I can...probably the reason why is that I've trained myself to first ask "why" - like "why" are they saying this just to be sure I haven't inadvertently prompted it someway. Usually don't know why so simply reply with a post to change the subject. If they persist then I might say "time to leave now, try to have a nice day."
Oh I would like to read your theory...think we need good alternative responses to negatively charged aggressive behavior. Do believe it could benefit us all.Some day I will write my theory on criticism and its benefits. It's very close to the way you think.
In any case, good practice!
Oh I would like to read your theory...think we need good alternative responses to negatively charged aggressive behavior. Do believe it could benefit us all.
I don't believe in karma.
Some people, perhaps too many, have no idea what they do. Something is wrong with them perhaps like a personality disorder. I'm not 100% sure. When I started the job where I work now, there were two particularly nasty younger women. They were not nice to me. They were both gone but one is back on a help out type basis. Just seeing her makes my stomach go in a knot.
Oh, goodness, that is a big question.
I would have to say that when people hurt you deliberately, it is usually caused by jealousy or by them unconsciously comparing you to someone that has hurt them.
Either way, there is no need for it, perhaps they are having a bad day and just lash out, it is up to each of us whether we accept the negativity or just chose to ignore it and move on.
"be kind to her." that's a hard one.Thank you for your reply!
I guess it's possible for people to be unkind without realizing that they are. Especially if they were born that way or conditioned to act that way. Try to ignore her if you can or (even harder) be kind to her. You may get a positive response.
"be kind to her." that's a hard one.
The older I get, the more I realize how much I've taken from people. I can't be kind to her. I can be professional and civil. I've only seen this woman and have yet to interact with her.
I am not referring to politicians per say. I believe that there are humans that exist who have no sprit or soul. It is like they have been placed on Earth just to create chaos and make life hard. They are more akin to the devil. They have no emotions and no feelings. There are some who are seen in court rooms being tried for crimes and they have no remorse for what they have done.That's very deep. Are Politicians animals...JUST KIDDING, JUST KIDDING. I know they are not - we have some GREAT politicians.
Why do some people find pleasure in hurting other people's feelings?
Thinking about it, yes, I think I would.Thanks for joining in!
Would you consider responding to negativity with kindness instead of just accepting it or ignoring it?
Power and control comes to mind.
Oh, and just being evil...