Why do we shout when we’re angry?

My ex....the abusive ex...had anger issues, and shouted a lot. He used anger and shouting to intimidate and control. Raised voices have been a trigger for me ever since.
 
While working traffic control (speed checks), I have been yelled at by more women than men by probably 2-1. One woman was so emotional that she actually began to choke. One woman that I handed a citation to yelled at me, “Just wait until I tell my husband.”
 

JaniceM said:
You should have replied "Oh, would he like to have a ticket, too?" :ROFLMAO:
Click to expand...
My late father managed to pick up a speeding ticket aged ninety, doing just over the forty mile an hour limit, but at least not holding anyone up hey! :cool: .

I felt a sneaking admiration for his achievement, although he soon afterwards gave up driving, as he was very dodgy moving off at intersections, and kept saying "whats he blaring his car horn about", when he cut them up. :eek::rolleyes: !
 
I think I tend to shout when I feel that I'm not being heard, when the other person ignores what I say and keeps driving home their own agenda. Obviously, shouting isn't going to make them behave differently, I think it's just an instinctive response.
 
Growing up with an angry father, I promised myself that if I were ever to have children, I would never shout. All it does, is instill fear and close the lines of communication.

My second husband was a shouter .. so was his ex-wife. I saw what it did to his grown children.
 
Pinky said:
Growing up with an angry father, I promised myself that if I were ever to have children, I would never shout. All it does, is instill fear and close the lines of communication.

My second husband was a shouter .. so was his ex-wife. I saw what it did to his grown children.
Click to expand...
We often tend to take a little misery and pass is on. It's good you broke the cycle.
 
I came from a quiet, Norse family and my Mother had a soft,melodic voice. My Father had a cheerful, calm voice. I'd never heard of yelling and intimidation until I married. My first husband was like Ronni's husband , abusive. I'll never be in that type of situation again.
If a disagreement is warrented, isn't the whole purpose to better understand each other? This can be done in gentle conversation.
 
Gaer said:
I came from a quiet, Norse family and my Mother had a soft,melodic voice. My Father had a cheerful, calm voice. I'd never heard of yelling and intimidation until I married. My first husband was like Ronni's husband , abusive. I'll never be in that type of situation again.
If a disagreement is warrented, isn't the whole purpose to better understand each other? This can be done in gentle conversation.
Click to expand...
I was once told by some work colleagues from the country, that protests in Norway are often held by participants standing in silence!

I can't imagine folk from the UK protesting without making a great racket, so our cultures are obviously very different.

My last point is though we may think parents shouting at one another or the kids is bad, those indulging "passive aggressive" behaviour, giving family members the silent treatment or whatever, can be far more destructive psychologically. :censored:o_O .
 
grahamg said:
I was once told by some work colleagues from the country, that protests in Norway are often held by participants standing in silence!

I can't imagine folk from the UK protesting without making a great racket, so our cultures are obviously very different.

My last point is though we may think parents shouting at one another or the kids is bad, those indulging "passive aggressive" behaviour, giving family members the silent treatment or whatever, can be far more destructive psychologically. :censored:o_O .
Click to expand...
We always sat down to talk with our daughter about inappropriate behaviour, but that wasn't until she was a teenager. We're lucky she was a pretty good kid. I used to get the silent treatment from my older sister. It felt terrible.
 
Gaer said:
I came from a quiet, Norse family and my Mother had a soft,melodic voice. My Father had a cheerful, calm voice. I'd never heard of yelling and intimidation until I married. My first husband was like Ronni's husband , abusive. I'll never be in that type of situation again.
If a disagreement is warrented, isn't the whole purpose to better understand each other? This can be done in gentle conversation.
Click to expand...
I didn't hear yelling until I married the first time either. When Mom started arguing with Dad he went for a walk. I think with some people, I know for sure that's the case with my first husband, it was about control...his need to control me. It didn't work any more with me than it did with you. I dumped him even though to do so I was risking eternal damnation according to the way I was raised. I figured if God was that kind of jerk, He wasn't worth knowing. It was "sinner in the eyes of an angry God." Above all else to thine own self be true, Shakespeare said.
 
Phoenix said:
I didn't hear yelling until I married the first time either. When Mom started arguing with Dad he went for a walk. I think with some people, I know for sure that's the case with my first husband, it was about control...his need to control me. It didn't work any more with me than it did with you. I dumped him even though to do so I was risking eternal damnation according to the way I was raised. I figured if God was that kind of jerk, He wasn't worth knowing. It was "sinner in the eyes of an angry God." Above all else to thine own self be true, Shakespeare said.
Click to expand...
Much pain, much harm and much misinformation has been given through organized religions.
 
I suppose I've got nothing to shout about, I must be boring. Just the other day, the most beautiful girl was sat on my sofa, I was making all kinds of overtures towards her, but she just kept on painting her nails, she had headphones clamped on her napper too, while chewing away on a mouthful of toffee.............I think she fancied me though. 😊
 
Gary O' said:
Yeah, that's me

Unless it's at something I'm working on, like a fixture or stubborn piece of wood

Then it's something like;

'YOOOOO ......WHORE!!!'

it's good to live in the woods
Neighbors might take that wrong
Click to expand...
I assume the ellipses represent the many colorful adjectives you use to describe the noun. 😉😂
 
Phoenix said:
I didn't hear yelling until I married the first time either. When Mom started arguing with Dad he went for a walk. I think with some people, I know for sure that's the case with my first husband, it was about control...his need to control me. It didn't work any more with me than it did with you. I dumped him even though to do so I was risking eternal damnation according to the way I was raised. I figured if God was that kind of jerk, He wasn't worth knowing. It was "sinner in the eyes of an angry God." Above all else to thine own self be true, Shakespeare said.
Click to expand...
Consider, though, that often the real wrong is the way it's presented.
 
Gaer said:
I came from a quiet, Norse family and my Mother had a soft,melodic voice. My Father had a cheerful, calm voice. I'd never heard of yelling and intimidation until I married. My first husband was like Ronni's husband , abusive. I'll never be in that type of situation again.
If a disagreement is warrented, isn't the whole purpose to better understand each other? This can be done in gentle conversation.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately, for some people the whole purpose is to "win."
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top