Why is it that we can fix others' lives, but mess up our own?

I think it's because we only see the tip of the iceberg when we look at other people's lives.

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Couple of possibilities:
1). Sometimes we are 'too close' to our own situations, and have more difficulty seeing them objectively. Try writing a description of the situation using pronouns other than "I, me" to represent yourself. Put it aside a few days then go back and read it as if it was someone elses. Consider what advice you'd give that person.

2) All we need to do to 'fix' someone else's situations is give them our counsel, they have to take action, do the work. To fix our own we both have to look at things objectively and do the work. More effort, bucking our staus quo and habits, than just talking.
 

feywon said:
Couple of possibilities:
1). Sometimes we are 'too close' to our own situations, and have more difficulty seeing them objectively. Try writing a description of the situation using pronouns other than "I, me" to represent yourself. Put it aside a few days then go back and read it as if it was someone elses. Consider what advice you'd give that person.

2) All we need to do to 'fix' someone else's situations is give them our counsel, they have to take action, do the work. To fix our own we both have to look at things objectively and do the work. More effort, bucking our staus quo and habits, than just talking.
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I think you've hit the nail on the head there feywon :)
It's so easy to say to someone 'if I was you I would/would not..' but when it comes to us it's different. :)
 
Mandee said:
I think you've hit the nail on the head there feywon :)
It's so easy to say to someone 'if I was you I would/would not..' but when it comes to us it's different. :)
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Even when asked for advice (rarely give unsolicited advice) i tend to give people options pointing out the potential drawbacks as well as benefits of each and say things like 'this is it what works/worked for me-- you might need to tailor it to fit you.'
 
"I think" I know the solutions to all my friends' lives, and their relationships. It's easy for me. So, if I can fix up their situations, why can't I do it, as well, for myself?
 
We CAN fix our own lives! I 've done it.
Thought is in the relative field and it can be changed. (like flipping on a light switch)
So many people are affected now because of the free flowing anxiety in the atmosphere, but this can be changed by focused, directed positive thought. Thought from the mind can be strengthened and can become so intensely powerful!
Amazing things can happen to you from changing the way you THINK!
 
No one can fix others lives...
maybe offer a different perspective or advice but that does not implement change unless the person follows the advice.

I have received unsolicited advice many a time..................... most was worthless as the had no clue to the big picture of a forest ... they were only addressing the one tree.

Example a co-worker always had fancy from home lunches ... i brought items like leftovers occasionally but often had to buy something.
Her advice was "as soon as you finish cooking pack a lunch or two and set aside before sitting down to dinner...saves so much then buying lunch"
Great idea but she lived Alone ..............
I had spouse and 3 teen kids lucky to have ANY leftovers .......but taking out portions before serving would be insane in my situation at the time.
I do this now for husbands lunch as there is just the two of us.
 
Gaer said:
We CAN fix our own lives! I 've done it.
Thought is in the relative field and it can be changed. (like flipping on a light switch)
So many people are affected now because of the free flowing anxiety in the atmosphere, but this can be changed by focused, directed positive thought. Thought from the mind can be strengthened and can become so intensely powerful!
Amazing things can happen to you from changing the way you THINK!
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Me too, it took some learning and doing. It builds character, in my opinion.šŸ’–
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I know the solutions to all my friends' lives, and their relationships. It's easy for me. So, if I can fix up their situations, why can't I do it, as well, for myself?
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They probably aren't acting on your advice, anyway. Giving advice/trying to fix people's lives is usually a waste of time.
So maybe that's the problem; you don't take your own advice.
 
We only see other people's problems at a surface level without some essential details, some of which the person we're trying to help isn't willing to divulge or perhaps that we're unable to fully comprehend. I know when I look back on my life, if I were to give myself advice, I'd tell myself to do a lot of what I failed to do more so than not to do what I did. I failed to do many things because of fear of commitment, fear of having more responsibility than I could handle, fear of having to deal with people... so fear prevented me from doing a lot of things, and fear to that extent is not something most people experience or can comprehend.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I know the solutions to all my friends' lives, and their relationships. It's easy for me. So, if I can fix up their situations, why can't I do it, as well, for myself?
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None of us can see ourselves as others do.
That's why advice runs so freely

Once getting a certain age (it's called experience), you stop trying to fix other's problems......after coming to the understanding, you don't really know all that much....
 
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