Widow owns large parcel of land

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
A 80+ year old widow I know, whose husband passed several years ago, owns a huge parcel of land (probably over 50 acres). It's out in the country and was once a working farm. I worry about her living in such an isolated area. It's even a quarter mile drive from the road to her house.

She's had many problems with the property since there a large ravine on it with a creek at the bottom. She has to worry about erosion encroaching on the house. Other problems are collapsed septic and other drainage pipes. Last winter she had ice in her cellar and frozen pipes. She also had to have a new driveway installed over the ravine when it started to fall in. She also complains about how poorly contractors she hires do the work. Lately she's had to deal with trespassers who get in her "back" field and mow and take the tall grass without permission. The taxes on the place amount to almost $10,000 annually.

I am constantly advising her to sell the property since there is no one there to help her or look out for things, but all I get for my trouble is "the stink eye". She seems very attached to that property, which I can't understand with all its problems. Why would someone be that resistant to unloading what seems to me is a huge headache and drain on financial resources?
 

I don't blame her for wanting to stay there, even with all the problems and headaches. I guess as long as she can afford the taxes and any necessary repairs to live there, then she's doing okay. If that's where she lived with her husband, I'm sure she has sentimental feelings about the place, shared memories, etc. I wish her well and hope she can stay safe there, but I'd likely do exactly what she's doing if I were in her position...probably be givin' you the stink eye too. :D
 
debodun, she's giving you the stinkeye and ignoring your unsolicited advice because it's none of your concern. It doesn't matter "why" she chooses not to sell her property; it's her property and she can do what she wants.
 

She's attached to that property because it's her home. At 80 plus, she may feel that moving would confuse her terribly and maybe feels she's unable to cope with that. She may feel that for the years she may have left, she wants them spent at home in familiar surroundings.
 
I have to agree with the majority here, the lady is elderly, obviously completely attached to her home even with all it's problems , and has no intention of moving, so I think it's clear she feels it's not appropriate for anyone else to give her advice.

I'm presuming by your post deb, that this lady isn't a close friend of yours, because surely if it were the case you would be having discussions about this rather than making statements to her about leaving her home ( however well meant) and receiving a look of disdain in reply rather than an explanation from her as to why she would rather stay put.

If so, I think you should leave her alone as long as she's safe and allow her to mind her own business ..and you mind yours!!
 
People grow very attached to their homes. My dad was all alone in a big house at the end of his life. He had lived there for over 50 years and he said the only way he'd leave it was feet first and that he did.
 
One of my main life lessons has been to stop trying to control others and mind my own business. Let others make their own mistakes. I've found out people can steer their own ship if I get out of the way and it gives me more time and energy to take care of my own projects. I think you are a kind caring person debodum but, like me, you should probably try to let others run their own lives unless they ask you for help or advise.
 

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