Would You Have Kids Again?

fuzzybuddy said:
If I can kind of hijack furyeverywhere's thread. Part 1. Would you have kids again? Part Two. Would you want those kids to be more like you. or more individualistic?
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It's funny, because both my daughters are splitting images of me, and they act and do exactly like me as well, whereas my boys (4 of them) are exactly like their dad. LOL!

I love individuality, because it keeps things interesting and outside of the same old - same old context.

As a mom I enjoyed watching all 6 of my children grow into something different from the other, the subtleties and nuances, the imaginations, their demeanours as far as handling situations, and so on. Always made for interesting times. :)
 

if it meant we all go back in age to experience all the good times and bad over again, with the chance to fix mistakes, then yes I would.

Not that I completely f’d it up the first time, my kids are turning out great. In fact having a do-over might mean taking on that risk that something goes horribly wrong that didn’t happen the first go round. But as I approach becoming an empty nester, I sometimes want to freeze my kids and keep them forever.

When a 40-50 year old guy plays Legos and Minecraft without a 10 year old kid to pretend he’s doing it for, well that’s just weird right? ;-).
 
Bakara said:
if it meant we all go back in age to experience all the good times and bad over again, with the chance to fix mistakes, then yes I would.

Not that I completely f’d it up the first time, my kids are turning out great. In fact having a do-over might mean taking on that risk that something goes horribly wrong that didn’t happen the first go round. But as I approach becoming an empty nester, I sometimes want to freeze my kids and keep them forever.

When a 40-50 year old guy plays Legos and Minecraft without a 10 year old kid to pretend he’s doing it for, well that’s just weird right? ;-).
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My husband loves to put together meg-blocks military stuff and The wooden Ugears ones. Occasionally a LEGO set like the pirate ship. My nephew put together the super large VW. And my husband is 😂 a bit weird. Just saying.
 

Pepper said:
Why do you say this?
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Thanks for asking Pepper. The original question included, "if you knew then what you know now," I based my response on that criteria. Knowing ahead of time all the pitfalls, potholes and negatives associated, I would have opted for an alternative path. I'm confident the wife probably would have wanted to do the same as what we did, so my vote probably wouldn't have counted anyway (sigh). Don...
 
Macfan said:
Knowing ahead of time all the pitfalls, potholes and negatives associated, I would have opted for an alternative path. I'm confident the wife probably would have wanted to do the same as what we did, so my vote probably wouldn't have counted anyway (sigh). Don...
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Pitfalls, potholes and negatives...........are you talking about Life? That's what it consists of, as well as laughter, joy, adventure. Thank goodness for your wife!
 
Pepper said:
Pitfalls, potholes and negatives...........are you talking about Life? That's what it consists of, as well as laughter, joy, adventure. Thank goodness for your wife!
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Yeah, life, that's what I meant. One choreographed by me instead of the one laid out for me. I know you don't agree with me and honestly, I didn't expect you to. As I said, going back not knowing what I know now, I would have happily done everything exactly the same. The difference was the question included 'going back knowing what you know now.' In my opinion, that made the difference in how I replied and I'm sticking to it :) . Don...
 
Yes, but I would start adopting earlier, when I was younger, and have more DS children. They are truly the most loving, forgiving, accepting human beings on earth. Like everyone they have their flaws, but lack of love, forgiveness, and acceptance is not in their make up.

If you doubt the human race was created in HIS image, you only have to know someone with DS to realize this is probably how we were meant to be emotionally-loving, forgiving, accepting. Every child is a blessing.

Except the ones with colic, babies with colic are a curse. My daughter had colic. 🤦🏻‍♀️ 🤣
 
I am one of the few who, despite enjoying children, I never felt I was parent material. And, no, I do not think time has changed my mind. Rick remained friendly with the wife of his former step son (from second marriage), Her kids called him Grandpa Rick, and started calling me Grandma Marie. So I do have that.
 
Yes, I would. I just regret choosing the man I married who was their self-involved father. My son needed a real man, like fureverywhere--also my very macho grandson who would have eagerly done all his activities. My grandson wanted to learn karate, parents wouldn't take the time to sign him up for it or take him. When I took care of him, when he was around 7-8, I hung a cloth bag containing a basketball sized ball from the living room archway & he slugged away at that ball one day for over an hour. Those boys missed out on a lot of things they could have learned from a loving man's man father.
 
Aneeda72 said:
Yes, but I would start adopting earlier, when I was younger, and have more DS children. They are truly the most loving, forgiving, accepting human beings on earth. Like everyone they have their flaws, but lack of love, forgiveness, and acceptance is not in their make up.

If you doubt the human race was created in HIS image, you only have to know someone with DS to realize this is probably how we were meant to be emotionally-loving, forgiving, accepting. Every child is a blessing.

Except the ones with colic, babies with colic are a curse. My daughter had colic. 🤦🏻‍♀️ 🤣
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What are DS children?
 
ELjane said:
Yes, I would. I just regret choosing the man I married who was their self-involved father. My son needed a real man, like fureverywhere--also my very macho grandson who would have eagerly done all his activities. My grandson wanted to learn karate, parents wouldn't take the time to sign him up for it or take him. When I took care of him, when he was around 7-8, I hung a cloth bag containing a basketball sized ball from the living room archway & he slugged away at that ball one day for over an hour. Those boys missed out on a lot of things they could have learned from a loving man's man father.
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My husband while a less than great husband was a great father while the children were at home. He/we took them fishing and all that requires. He/we repaired our money pit of a house constantly. Both my bio son and daughter know how to repair houses, plumbing, roof, and build shed, etc.

Son learned how to repair cars from a neighbor. In my experience, children don’t need mom and dad to teach them stuff, if they want to learn it, they will find someone to teach them.
 
Aneeda72 said:
My husband while a less than great husband was a great father while the children were at home. He/we took them fishing and all that requires. He/we repaired our money pit of a house constantly. Both my bio son and daughter know how to repair houses, plumbing, roof, and build shed, etc.

Son learned how to repair cars from a neighbor. In my experience, children don’t need mom and dad to teach them stuff, if they want to learn it, they will find someone to teach them.
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Oh if only my son and grandson had had someone that would teach them. My son was in the Air Force for 11 years. Worked on Jets. My grandson is manager of some restaurant now--he's quite intelligent. My son has physical problems that have kept him from getting hired for any job, Bad Essential tremor shaking & neuropathy in hands, & occasionally has shaking throughout his body, Bad knee/walking problems. Neuropathy in feet.
 
ELjane said:
Oh if only my son and grandson had had someone that would teach them. My son was in the Air Force for 11 years. Worked on Jets. My grandson is manager of some restaurant now--he's quite intelligent. My son has physical problems that have kept him from getting hired for any job, Bad Essential tremor shaking & neuropathy in hands, & occasionally has shaking throughout his body, Bad knee/walking problems. Neuropathy in feet.
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If I understand correctly, after being in the Air Force you son became disabled? But if your grandson manages a restaurant, that is a good job and requires a variety of skills. My SIL used to manage a Carl’s Jr. He now is an insurance broker.

I am curious. What is it that you think you son and grandson needed to learn in their childhood, from a male, that they didn’t? Working on jets sounds good to me as does managing a restaurant. Some of the skills my son learned in childhood are handy, others not so much. 😂
 
Aneeda72 said:
If I understand correctly, after being in the Air Force you son became disabled? But if your grandson manages a restaurant, that is a good job and requires a variety of skills. My SIL used to manage a Carl’s Jr. He now is an insurance broker.

I am curious. What is it that you think you son and grandson needed to learn in their childhood, from a male, that they didn’t? Working on jets sounds good to me as does managing a restaurant. Some of the skills my son learned in childhood are handy, others not so much. 😂
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Working crunched up on his knees in tight spaces in the jets may have eventually caused my son's hands and feet neuropathy. It does not run in the family. His Essential tremor shaking is inherited from me, His came on a little over the years--slowly, after the Air Force. Neither boys (nor girls) need a man to teach them certain skills. A good man can show them by words and actions a man's perspective on the many differences between men and women. :)
 
Ameriscot said:
Yes, but I would have had them with a different man and been at least 10 years older before I had them. And for the bonus: grandkids!!!
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Same here Ameriscot, I did meet the guy 12yrs older , after having 2sons with my ex.....which is another story, but sadly I couldn’t have children with him, as I had a sterilisation aged 27......we would of had beautiful children ...!,😊
 
Aunt Marg said:
My own mother (for one) was a WAY better grandmother than a mom.

I see it as a sort of genetic fired quality in most women.

Only ever met a few miserable grandmothers in my day, and they truly were sour. Some people must really hate life and themselves.
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My mother had no maternal instincts.....I don’t think either of my sisters had any either.
I just went with the flow really .....married at 18 , 2 sons by 21......
Don’t get to see my grandkids or step grandkids much....but now seeing my great grand children..
Newest edition ...darcie....aged 5months....
6FCFBA25-6E89-4E23-8701-0335EDFF70BA.jpeg
 

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