Oh my word... cute as a button, Charry!
Can't help but notice the mitts on her, is she a scratcher?
Would You Have Kids Again?
- Thread starter fureverywhere
- Start date
Can't help but notice the mitts on her, is she a scratcher?
Regarding motherly instincts, I definitely was born with them, and then having baby siblings growing up, I'm certain that helped bring out my motherly instincts even more. My sisters are the same.
Oh my word... cute as a button, Charry!
Can't help but notice the mitts on her, is she a scratcher?
Yep, bless her,......
I was the youngest of 5, so I was spoilt......I’m a carer, and worrier, I’ve looked after elderly people for 40yrs, and now,im my Hubbys full time shadow carer.....
I think everyone’s life is mapped out for them !,
Sometimes I wonder how life would have been had I been the baby in the family, not that I didn't enjoy being the big sister and all.I was the youngest of 5, so I was spoilt......I’m a carer, and worrier, I’ve looked after elderly people for 40yrs, and now,im my Hubbys full time shadow carer.....
I think everyone’s life is mapped out for them !,
I think the same, Charry.
Glad to know you were soiled!
I know my baby sibs sure were.Sometimes I wonder how life would have been had I been the baby in the family, not that I didn't enjoy being the big sister and all.
I think the same, Charry.
Glad to know you were soiled!
I was Only spoilt by mum ,
Dad was more attached to next sister, who mum didn’t have time for,
And my brothers , called me a brat !
Always been jealousy in our family and still is...i have nothing to do with any of them now, havnt for years ......
My half-sisters harbored childhood grudges into our adulthood for so long that I had to distance myself from them for several years. We are good now, but it was a very unpleasant experience to go through.I was Only spoilt by mum ,
Dad was more attached to next sister, who mum didn’t have time for,
And my brothers , called me a brat !
Always been jealousy in our family and still is...i have nothing to do with any of them now, havnt for years ......
Boy, can I ever relate.I was Only spoilt by mum ,
Dad was more attached to next sister, who mum didn’t have time for,
And my brothers , called me a brat !
Always been jealousy in our family and still is...i have nothing to do with any of them now, havnt for years ......
As much as I loved having baby siblings around, I, too, remember thinking of them (at times) as brats, but I wouldn't change a thing. Would happily relive those days again if I could.
Very sorry to hear of the tension in your family, Charry.
I know many-a family who have nothing to do with one another. I believe it's more common than many of us think.
StarSong
Awkward is my Superpower
- Location
- Los Angeles Suburbs
I know many, many more families with at least one member who is estranged (or nearly so) than families who are truly intact and close. The bigger the family, the more likely the estrangements.
One of the biggest tipping points I find is the settling of inheritances.
One truly learns of the strengths and weaknesses of their own family unit at such times.
StarSong
Awkward is my Superpower
- Location
- Los Angeles Suburbs
Having settled a couple of inheritances and observed some others up close and personal, the estrangements I've seen were a long time in coming.
The estate settlement is merely the final straw.
When parents die their children are released from holiday command performances. Whether they remain close or even on speaking terms is no longer obligatory to keep the parents happy. Not all families have healthy dynamics. Intentional estrangements can provide release from extremely dysfunctional relationships.
A very wise, compassionate, empathetic and dear, dear SF friend has commented on this very thing over the years. Two of her comments resonated strongly with me. I changed her wording slightly, typed them up and keep the paper on a bulletin board over my desk:
"Sometimes there are no happy choices, only ones that are not toxic."
"Life's biggest challenges can be knowing when to keep trying, and when to let go."
As always, said so well, Star.
I really like those quotes, too. So much truth in them.
Phoenix
Senior Member
- Location
- Oregon, U S
My husband feels the same way about his. I never had any on purpose. In the late 60s and early 70s when I was making my decisions, we already knew about overpopulation and where it was going. There were riots in the streets. I wondered why people would want to bring anyone into that. I still wonder.
I can understand pinky , my eldest sister is a half sister,but always blamed me apparently ....
Phoenix
Senior Member
- Location
- Oregon, U S
Jealousy is awful. Even if there is no money to split up, there are personal items.
Aneeda72
Well-known Member
You give the personal items away before you die. The picture of my dad in uniform and some other pictures went to my nephew, my brothers son as the last remaining male with the family name. He had two daughters. And so it went. Giving away the few things that were important to me to the few people that had a little interest.
All gone now so no fighting. The rest is just crap that can be thrown away. There is no money, will be no money. The house they can sell or let the bank take it. One of the values of being poor, we cherish each other not things.
Phoenix
Senior Member
- Location
- Oregon, U S
That won't work for me. I have all my mom's and dad's stuff. My sister should have had it because she had kids and grand kids. But she passed before Mom. My nieces and nephews are difficult to nail down even though they are in their mid to upper 50s. My brother was in jail when Mom died. He is also dead now. I have no way to contact his kids. What connection I have with remaining family is tenuous. I take better care of myself than my nieces and nephews do. I'm likely to outlive them. I'm working on having my sister's oldest grand kid take the stuff - all the pictures and such. She's 39. She's the most responsible, but her life is in chaos. So, I sit on it and hope for the best.
What funds there are will go to the ASPCA. My husband's kids have been so awful to him, they will only get what the law mandates to keep them from suing the estate. Of course, I think I will outlive them too. They are heavy into opioids.
Talk about being put through "misery" from a one year older sibling, once our domineering mother had died...bam! she changed from a kind daughter driving many miles to visit our mother and stepfather occasionally on weekends to a daughter coming to our stepfather to help him on weekends with whatever (for her gain)--his emphysema was worsening. .............. I think I better shut up about that whole UGLY LONG STORY of all that went on before he died and after.
Before my mother died: all my sister and her sons had done for our mother and stepfather was, at times, to visit them on weekends. Two of her sons once took my stepfather to his favorite bar. I think this was after my mothers death, & they refused--having too much fun I guess. smowing of hers and stepfather's gigantic hilly lawn with gas powered push lawn lower, apple picking alone while they went on a short vacation not having any way to reach high branches, corn stalks trimmed, gathering, searching for pieces of debris from their huge weed grown back lawn after a tornado; helping mother pick berries from her huge garden, helping my stepfather cut branches from a dying tree,
If I understand correctly, after being in the Air Force you son became disabled? But if your grandson manages a restaurant, that is a good job and requires a variety of skills. My SIL used to manage a Carl’s Jr. He now is an insurance broker.
I am curious. What is it that you think you son and grandson needed to learn in their childhood, from a male, that they didn’t? Working on jets sounds good to me as does managing a restaurant. Some of the skills my son learned in childhood are handy, others not so much.
My son worked scrunched up on his knees for hours as he worked in small spaces in the jets. That is the only reason that seems plausible for his hand and feet neuropathy and his knee pain. The only male influence my son had growing up was from a couple of 'big brothers'. One would bring his wife along when they got together. The get together was supposed to be JUST guys getting together. When I saw that the second 'big brother' had given my son Playboy magazines I got a bad feeling about him and he had to go. My grandson's father? Well my grandson loved to fish, so his father took him fishing. Well his idea of fishing with his son was to sit in his car while his son fished alone--helped alittle by a man nearby. His father took him to a movie--his father did not want to watch the same movie his son wanted to see so he left his son watching alone his movie while daddy watched a movie in a different theater. There were many times I had to come up with not 'important' reasons why his father "couldn't" keep a promise to do things with his son that was very important to his son. I had to tell my grandson the reason, then try to comfort him as he cried his eyes out.
Aneeda72
Well-known Member
How old was your son when he was given Playboy magazines? My father got National Geographic and my brother and I looked at the pictures of the naked natives when he was not around. Didn’t hurt us. I let my son and daughter see the pictures in playboy before the magazine became too, hmm, less art and more porno.
I also learned a lot from the articles in Playboy. It was a good magazine until the later more sexualized years. IMO.
My son was around 9 when he was given Playboy (slightly hidden under my son's mattress.) As a young girl, I remember being shocked by the photos in Geographic of bare breasted women, but more then that it was the look of some women's breasts. (What's wrong with their breasts, so flat and hanging?!) lol Well, now from personal experience, I know. I still do not appreciate that that 'big brother' gave my son those playboy magazines. Something a little "off" about it/him, imo.
Aneeda72
Well-known Member
Yeah, maybe, as that is a parents decision. But, really, at nine you were shocked by the bare breasted woman? That surprises me, I was probably that age or younger and not shocked. But then I had to share a bed with grandma and while I never saw her naked, well, you get it.