Would you pay to attend a wedding?

I went to a lot of weddings when I lived in Michigan, a lot of "ethnic" ones. The custom up there was "cover your plate", which meant to give a gift, monetary or otherwise, at least as expensive as what the cost was for the guest to eat at the reception. I'm not sure how you were to know how much the cost was. Most people don't know in advance whether it is going to be a filet-mignon-and-lobster reception or a rubber-chicken-and-pasta reception, so it's hard to figure that out unless you just come out and ask.

Another custom up there was the "Dollar Dance", where you get to dance with the bride and then you pin money on her veil. I did see more than one bride with a pretty little white purse hanging on her wrist during the reception.
 

MACKTEXAS said:
There has been much written on the faults of AI, and for it to narrow it down to only Polish and Mexican may not be reliable.
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I like that you looked into it.

Mom's people immigrated to Italy from Portugal. It might be a Portuguese tradition. But ever since people had access to boats, they moved all over the world, and took their traditions with them. Wherever it came from, I always thought it was really cool.
 
No I would not. Weddings are an invitation to share in a celebration and it is a privilege to do so. To pay to attend makes it too commercial. Why should guests be expected to pay – if the bride and groom can’t afford to cover costs, then they should scale back or get married at City Hall. Very poor taste in my opinion.
 
I would..in asnwer to the OP.. but like everyone else.. that would be THE gift..nthing more. I always have difficulty thinking up a gift for a wedding present anyway... However I do dread inivtes to weddings because it costs a fortune to even go .

By the time I buy a new outfit, have my hair done.. new shoes.. new bag perhaps.. money for the gift.. money for the hotel room overnight... so I feel that by being invited we're already sending a lot just to be there
 
hollydolly said:
never heard of it Frank... the only ones I've heard of are the greek wediings where they pin the money to the bride's dress...
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At most Middle-Eastern weddings, people walk up to the dancing newlyweds holding up a handful of bills in the open palm of one hand, and sort of dealing them out really fast with a finger of the other. It showers paper money over the couple. Most of us have probly seen that.

I always figured the idea behind the big pockets on bride aprons is so people can't guess how much the couple is getting, or how stingy Aunt Ethel was. Same principle as envelopes, but prettier.

My cousin, Laura, my age, was the first bride in the family to have a money-tree instead of a bride apron. She thought the apron would spoil the look of her billowy dress. Being seen dancing in the dress was a bigger deal to her.

The old folks didn't like it, a bunch of people scrambled over to the Sunday school office to grab envelopes, and my Aunt got chewed out for not telling everyone. There couldn't have been more upset and chaos if someone had stolen the wedding cake.
 
The last one we was invited to 12 years ago …was DH Son , his wife demanded we pay $2.500 to attend what would have been a drunks / drug party , her father started drinking / smoking …at 7 am each day and didn’t stop till he went to bed
( whole family are drunks or druggies )

We declined ..with a huge no thank you ….I don’t think I’m above anyone ….but living / social. ….standards are about that sort of company

I even went to the trouble of returning the invite with a big noticeable ✅✅✅ not able to attend …


( she demanded we pay the airfares for their week away )
 
I look at it another way. Practically every wedding I've attended has been out of state so I'm already paying for travel and lodging. I flew from Florida to a friend's wedding in SoCal, stayed overnight, took a redeye back after the reception and went to work the next day. It cost me a pretty penny. So, no.
 
Hubby is Filipino and the Filipino culture has wedding "sponsors". They are usually older and they pay to help subsidize the wedding. When his sister got married, the first half of the wedding was "introducing Doctor and Mrs._____" who had chipped in to attend.
 
My Niece and her Husband-to-Be politely asked for cash gifts at their Wedding to pay down the cost of their new home. No one batted an eyelash.
 
oscash said:
I've been to a couple of weddings and instead of gifts there is a Wishing Well and people put in money to help with the wedding costs.
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Every wedding I have been to in the last 20 years of so has done this - although people still can give actual gifts if they prefer.

I always give money - in an envelope with a wedding card.

Difference being it is optional how much to give not a defined 'pay this' amount like in OP

However I have also known of wedding where guests are asked o n the invite - in lieu of gifts please pay for your own meal - and I am ok with that too
 
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