You Can't Go Home Again, Or Can You?

Lee

Lee

Senior Member
Location
Chatham, Ontario
Been on vacation, rented a cottage with a friend in my old stomping grounds up north just to see if I wanted to return permanently. Things change, people change, and some things stayed the same. A trip down memory lane where memories are good. A time for soul searching.

Came back home yesterday to a cat who just yawned as if to say "oh, guess you're back" and promptly went over to his babysitter for pats and reassurance. A garden that needed weeding badly and quick glances through the forum to see what I missed, I did try to read daily but posting on a phone is not my thing.

Who else has tripped down Memory Lane and did you find what you were missing?
 

Lee said:
Who else has tripped down Memory Lane and did you find what you were missing?
Click to expand...
I did the same a few years ago, @Lee . Entering town, I saw that my favorite restaurant hang-out as a teen is gone with just a parking lot there now. Friends' houses where I spent a lot of time.... gone or drastically changed. Elementary and high schools unrecognizable.

Going through the town, so much was different... nothing except the ancient jailhouse was the same... and the warm & fuzzy memories I thought the day would bring did not materialize. I came back in tears realizing that you really can never "go back home"... at least not if it's warm memories you're seeking. The day I was excited about turned out to be very traumatic. :cry:
 
Last edited:
I feel that if a person remembers good things from back home, and wants to return to find some resemblance of that, it probably won't be there. Time changes the people and circumstances we remember.

So in that aspect, it can be depressing that those things are lost in time.
 

When I return, to a former home or haunt, I don't expect to find what my memory holds, it's never the same. It's called Memory Lane for a reason, because it's just that, a memory. I'd rather keep the memory of what was then be confronted with the reality of what it's become. No, you can't really go home again, except in your mind.
 
JustBonee said:
I feel that if a person remembers good things from back home, and wants to return to find some resemblance of that, it probably won't be there. Time changes the people and circumstances we remember.

So in that aspect, it can be depressing that those things are lost in time.
Click to expand...
Yes, exactly, @JustBonee ... sometimes keeping the memories safe and protected is better than trying to recreate sweet times by "going back."
 
I've moved around a bit and have gone back to see old homes and haunts a number of times. Guess I've learned to expect change, nothing stays the same. I found the high school I graduated from has become a parking lot...

Had a good experience a few years back, went to see the old Florida home I grew up in. The house was little changed and the neighborhood had improved a bit. Found a woman living next door I had known as a boy, she was the grand niece of our old neighbors. First time I had seen her in over 50 years. We had a memorable reunion... nice girl back then, nice lady now.
 
Things really do change. Did the trip help with any decision @Lee ?

Last time I went back to Santa Cruz, the town had changed. I'm sure even more now. It's been over 30 years since that last trip there. I'd never make another.
 
I've been back to the home I lived in between the age of 5 years & 10 years; also the home we lived in after that where I spent my teen years. All the buildings I remember are still there and all have been significantly improved and updated. They all look really very nice now in both towns I lived in!

There was an old, still functioning railway station in the place I lived in between 5-10 years old. I thought it would be gone fore sure but; nope! It's no longer a functioning rail station but was maintained and refurbished when it was turned into office suites and a coffee shop.
Rail Station.jpg

I still remember us kids putting coins on the tracks at that station then waiting for a train to come rolling through. Was always a little scared one might derail because of the pennies we'd put on the tracks :LOL:
 
that long and winding road

this song constantly comes to mind as I too reach back into the past -I usually do it now with google earth and walk those old streets that way - it is just as saddening and painful for sure. My family two adults and three kids lived in a village of 6000 for 5 yrs and then I left home for good and the rot set in -Ma bawled her eyes out for 3mths and then followed my sis to CA. If we'd all stayed there for ever - and why should we ? - we would have notice change gradually and become accustomed to it - but going back just for funerals and the occasional decade holiday just sorta makes it worst. Once we leave the dreams are broken and lost - Pa died 15 yrs after I left and Ma carried on for another 20 in the same bloody village but re-married? - what was the point of it all I sometimes ask? Should have all stayed in the large city of our births????
 
Last edited:
I would have to agree with most here..... the places are different or the people are different....... nothing stays the same the world is in constant motion ..........
i always say it is like taking a photo of the Ocean ....... the waves/ the sand teh everything will NEVER be the same as that photo....
 
Still live in the house I was born in and I'm pushing 90. Garage and outbuilding still in use. We gave the place to our yongest daughter and husband back in 1995 and retained a life lease for ourselves. It's worked out well for us. When the grandkids were little, we helped with them and now their all there for we old folks. All these years with no living expense - taxes, water and electric, maintenance, etc., It's been a great experience.

In the back shed where the power equipment is stored, I had a book shelf in one corner of the building. It's still there and there's 3 or 4 books, "Hardy Boys", WWII novel, etc. I look at them once in awhile but have always put them back. Talk about old memories!!
 
I went searching on google earth for the street in which I was born - home birth - the street has been demolished completely different buildings installed and it is no longer a street but a cul de sac and garage ware for newer houses. I like progress but we've gotta give the past away then!!
 
  • Wow
Reactions: Lee
After high school, I spent 4 years at the Naval Academy and then another 6+ months at what is called Basic School for advanced training in warfare. And then more training on the west coast. Finally, I got some (what was called) extended leave time. I went home to see my Grandparents that raised me and was glad that I did. My Gramps suddenly died just over a year later with a heart attack. He was a hard worker on his farm that he loved dearly. Grandma stayed there and rented the fields out to another farmer after she tried running it with some hired helpers, but that didn't go well or to her liking.

I also was disappointed in the way things had changed. They built a vocational technical school in the county and the high school's enrollment shrunk by about 10%. A few of the buildings changed and my barber shop was closed after our old barber also retired and no one wanted to take it over. I had heard a new shop did open in a different building. The little town about 3 miles from our farm got a Walmart and a McDonalds. After I inherited the farm. I was up in the air what to do with it. I decided to finally sell it, including the house and land. I donated half the money between the little church and 2 charities. I did drive back to the house and had a few words with the new owners, who allowed me to look through the home. They had made some updates and my bedroom is now a computer/sewing room. The farm is making money and they told me at the time they had no plans of moving.

When I drove out of town, I made a promise to myself never to return. I did, however, return for my 25th h.s. class reunion, but never went near the farm. I had good and bad memories and learned what people meant when they said they had mixed emotions. That was me. I was both happy at times and sad at times. Even the the closest neighbor kid where I rode my bike to go visit him had moved away with his family to Indiana. The one thing that brought a broad smile to my face and tears in my eyes was when I saw that stupid dog house Gramps and I built for the dog I got for one Christmas. We only chained her out in the summer. In late fall to early spring, she was an inside dog. She seemed to want to be outside all year round until she got older and the arthritis set in her joints. I just stared at that dog house for what seemed like hours, but was only for a few minutes and I could visualize when Gramps and I built it. Of all things to have a good memory about.

Nope, I will never return.
 
Capt Lightning said:
I'm sure I posted about this some time ago, having retraced some of our early days driving through the south west of Scotland.
Things were not the same, villages had all been bypassed, and modern housing, totally out of character, had been built .
No, you should never go back to places that you loved unless you're prepared to be disappointed.
Click to expand...
So true. What type of architecture was being used for the new homes that were being built? Here's a stupid question. Do all the homes in Scotland have inside plumbing and electricity? The closest I ever got to Scotland was when I was in the northern part of the UK around Manchester, but I'm just guessing. I may have been further north.
 
I have been a "Rolling Stone", all of my life, early on my
grandparents raised me, one day my Granny told me to
"Never Go Back, Ever", I listened to her in my head over
the years, but sometimes, I ended back in a place where
I had lived for a while and found, that although the roads
were all the same, that was it, most of the shops were not,
there were no people that I knew, that I could find, the pubs
were all under different owners, so I was a stranger in town,
where earlier I was known by most and knew all their names.

So the changes are the best reason not to go back, also the
cousins who are still there if it is where you come from, they
are mostly jealous, maybe about the fact that you escaped
or prospered, while they stayed, stuck in a time, long gone.

Mike.
 
Been There said:
So true. What type of architecture was being used for the new homes that were being built? Here's a stupid question. Do all the homes in Scotland have inside plumbing and electricity? The closest I ever got to Scotland was when I was in the northern part of the UK around Manchester, but I'm just guessing. I may have been further north.
Click to expand...
I'm not sure if that's a joke or not. We are quite civilised. Yes, we do have proper plumbing and proper electricity - none of your 110V stuff.

OK, traditionally houses (like most in this village) were built using locally quarried stone, while the roofing slate would have come from W.Scotland. Smaller villages and farms would, and still have, wells to supply water. This isn't a bucket at the end of a rope, but a deep borehole and a sophisticated pumping, filtering and purifying system. Same with sewerage treatment, with many remote farms and villages having small waste treatment plants.

New houses tend to be of the cardboard and baking foil construction - a light wooden frame with a high degree of insulation and a single block skin. Cooking is mainly using gas or electric, while heating in the new houses is often by air-source heat pump. My main criticisms are that these houses are generally totally out of character with the area, have virtually no garden and inadequate parking. It's probably greed on the part of developers - cram the houses in, charge the most you can get for them and try to tell people that's what they want.

There is no reason (probably except for cost) why new houses can't blend in with the old instead of sticking out like the proverbial sore thumb.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top