Your Pets vs Your Guests

Della said:
Our mini-dachshund is spoiled. I admit it. We don't have friends and relatives in and out frequently like some people do. She's never once been around children. We are simply three devoted adults competing for her affection and that's all she's known.

But once a year we have relatives come through and visit us for a few days on the way to visit their son's family in North Carolina. They don't like dogs.

She acts angry and speaks harshly to her, whenever our dog puts her feet up on her chair asking to be picked up. They are horrified that she begs at the table. We have to spend the weekend sitting in the tiny den because that's the only place with chairs too high for her to jump up on. They've said, "Why don't you put her outside?" and I've explained that she knows to bark to be let back in and she would continue barking until that happens. She's 14 now, toothless, hard of hearing and half blind but they cut her no slack. I'm dreading their next visit in two weeks.

Thoughts?
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Simple. Say no to their visit. They do, after all, have a couple of weeks to make other arrangements. You do not have to explain, but if you feel so moved, tell them, "My dog is old, you don't like dogs, and I choose not to upset my family (which includes our dog) by having you visit us."
 
Jules said:
Do you even like these folks.
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Well, they're family.

He's my husband's younger brother and his wife, and they're nice enough people, just a bit boring. Other than the dog thing they're okay so I can't bring myself to tell them they can't come.

We'll just endure the visit and thanks to the pep talk from you guys I won't put up with any harsh, "Down Dog," commands. They know her name, but call her dog!
 
My dogs have the run of the house, the littles are allowed on the beds and furniture. They have their spots just like Sheldon from friends. Do not even think about sitting in their spot. The big dog does not get on the furniture, this is how his Dad(now passed) raised him. He came to me after losing his Dad.

He had stayed with us many times when Dad was traveling. He knew my dogs and has never been aggressive to any animal or human. He is large and can knock you down, had to teach the grandson to be aware of where the dog was so he did not get mowed down.

People that have a problem with my family just have no business in my home. It is just that simple!
 
I would make some excuse to cancel their visit. Your poor ailing doggie does not need to be subjected to harsh treatment in her condition. Granted I don't like animals begging for food at the table...cat or dog, but if you allow it and that's what she's used to, she shouldn't have to alter her habits, nor should you have to be sitting in your den if it is uncomfortable. And for your relatives to speak harshly to your pet is just rude.

If they don't like dogs...why do they come anyway?! Decades ago when we had our beloved cat Audra, my BF asked me why don't I get rid of the cat (I forgot what she did to make him say that). I told him I'd get rid of him before I got rid of her. He never made that suggestion again. :LOL:
 
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LoveTulips said:
Ridiculous, They show up unexpected and they don't like your sweetie dog and you pay for their hotel cost?? Why??? Frankly there is something seriously wrong if your relatives don't like dogs. I mean I could understand maybe one relative not liking dogs, but a number of your relatives?
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I love dogs so it's always hard for me to understand people who don't like them particularly if they are sweet natured dogs... but I can't complain too loudly because I cannot stand cats... I really dislike them.. However I never go to friends houses who have cats, because I would never expect them to put the cat in another room.. and I certainly wouldn't want a cat anywhere near me.. so we agree that I just don't go to their house...
 
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My dogs are so spoiled that when I let them back in after a potty and run in the back yard. I open the door and they just stand there. I list the different treats available, carrots, green beans, crackers. When I mention the one they desire they come in and go straight to the kitchen to get their good dog treat. Oh no, they are not spoiled, they just want to be treated the same as humans that come in our house. Who am I to argue,
 
I've always liked dogs, but was neutral against cats, which means I didn't either like nor dislike them. This changed since the neighbor's cat always came to us and later moved into our house and on our bed at night. After three days we just couldn't resist anymore.
 
LoveTulips said:
Frankly there is something seriously wrong if your relatives don't like dogs. I mean I could understand maybe one relative not liking dogs, but a number of your relatives?
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No I dont agree with that - there is nothing wrong with not liking dogs. Its fine for them all to not to like dogs.

What isnt fine is them expecting you to change your dog household to suit them

I think you need to be firm - no making excuses, just politely and firmly say It doesn't work out with you staying in our house, our views on dogs are too different (not right, not wrong , that gets people defensive about how they are right - just different ) - best if you stay in a motel (goes without saying, at your own expense) and lets meet at xyz for coffee/dinner etc ( somewhere not your house, without the dog)

that seems reasonable and fair to both you and them.
 
I don't understand dislike of cats. I never had a dog because of usually living in apartments, which require a lot of work having a dog, whereas cats are self-sufficient. I love other people's dogs, though. Have lived with people who had dogs. I would love @katlupe's rabbit, I'm sure.
 
Pepper said:
I don't understand dislike of cats. I never had a dog because of usually living in apartments, which require a lot of work having a dog, whereas cats are self-sufficient. I love other people's dogs, though. Have lived with people who had dogs. I would love @katlupe's rabbit, I'm sure.
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I think it's impossible to explain why somebody likes or dislikes animals or even things. Even these people might not be able to explain it.
 
Yes. This is true. But what I can't stand at all is cruelty to animals. The same neighbor whose cat moved into our house permanently, once got visited by a man with a young boy. The boy might have been 6 years old. He tried to kick our cat and other cats into the side. Such kicks often are fatal. Fortunately my wife noticed it in time and yelled at him before he did it. It is well known that children who are torturing animals often commit crimes as bodily assaults or even killings later in life.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
Granted I don't like animals begging for food at the table...cat or dog, but if you allow it and that's what she's used to, she shouldn't have to alter her habits, nor should you have to be sitting in your den if it is uncomfortable. And for your relatives to speak harshly to your pet is just rude.
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I don't like it either, Diva, so when Maggie was a puppy, I made a speech about how we wouldn't let her beg at the table like our previous dog. So right away they started slipping her bits saying, "Just a little bit so she'll be satisfied." :rolleyes:

We even let her lick all three of our plates. I keep the dishwasher on sterilize, but if we have company with senses of humor, I look down at her with the plates and say, "Good I wont have to wash those."
 
A deceased German lawyer and founder of an organization for the rights of animals, Andreas Grasmüller, which is very much valued by my wife and me, once said two sentences. #1: "If only one animal is part of the Last Judgement, there will be crying and crying among humans". #2: "It was the biggest mistake of evolution that it didn't stop with the great ape".
 
George1959 said:
A deceased German lawyer and founder of an organization for the rights of animals, Andreas Grasmüller, which is very much valued by my wife and me, once said two sentences. #1: "If only one animal is part of the Last Judgement, there will be crying and crying among humans". #2: "It was the biggest mistake of evolution that it didn't stop with the great ape".
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My son follows Gary Francione and his Abolitionist Approach to animal rights. I haven't gone vegan with him yet, but he has me leaning that way. Are you and your wife vegans?
 
My parents had a few good friends who did not like dogs. So when they were at our home we took our dog to its pen and kept it there away from people. Any body who wanted to pet or play with Snoopy could walk over to its pen (which was plenty big) and do so. No big deal. We would never allow our dog to beg at the table, jump on guests, or stick their nose into some part of a guest’s body. That is just plain rude.

If visitors must speak harshly to a pet in order to not be bothered by it, the owner has in failed his/her responsibility to the pet and to their friends.
 
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Brookswood said:
We would never allow our dog to beg at the table, jump on guests, or stick their nose into some part of a guest’s body. That is just plain rude.
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Now you've made them feel bad, Brookswood. Keep in mind they aren't Cane Corsos. They only stand about six inches tall so begging at the table is just the feeling of fur around someone's ankles, jumping up just means paws on the side of a guest's chair, and crotch diving is only a distant dream.
 

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