Your Siblings - Are You Friends

I am fairly close to my two brothers, but all of us refuse to have anything to do with our younger sister who has behaved badly so many times. After I executed our father's will and sent her a check, I closed her chapter in my book of life.
 

My older brother and I never did get along, different as night and day. He lies and always has, and I can't tolerate it. My sister is 4 years younger than me. I thought we were always quite close, until one day she decided we weren't. They are both in FL now, so many miles separate us, too. I love her, but have only spoken to her twice in ten years. So, no close ties with them at all, and hasn't been for over a decade. Families are a tough bunch, for certain. I agree with others here, after the parents are gone, the stuffing leaves the pillow.
 
Right Now said:
My older brother and I never did get along, different as night and day. He lies and always has, and I can't tolerate it. My sister is 4 years younger than me. I thought we were always quite close, until one day she decided we weren't. They are both in FL now, so many miles separate us, too. I love her, but have only spoken to her twice in ten years. So, no close ties with them at all, and hasn't been for over a decade. Families are a tough bunch, for certain. I agree with others here, after the parents are gone, the stuffing leaves the pillow.
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How I love how you worded that, Right. :love:

So true.
 

While my two older brothers and one older sister have never been talk-every-week close, recently we have started group-emailing to wish each other happy (whatever) holiday, check on each other if bad weather or other major problem is close by and generally cheer each other on. They checked in on me when I had COVID. I feel like we're closer now.
 
I had a boss who was estranged from his sister. My honorary son also has this issue with his older brother. His younger brother, the one he was close with, passed away last year. One of my online friends also, but her sister passed away a couple of years ago. My situation is just the opposite. I found out I had (half) siblings when I was 50 years old. I finally got to meet them (quite a story I'll tell at another time). My oldest sister had died before I found out I had siblings. My sister and I bonded immediately and so did me and our oldest brother. I became very close with both of them and they were quite close. The other brother lived a distance away so we met but never got to know each other, even after he moved in with our oldest brother. My sister is my only surviving sibling. My online friend met her half brother who she discovered through Ancestry in 2019. She traveled from California to Virginia to meet him and they became close but he died within a year. It's sad to hear about siblings who don't get along.
 
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I have no clue why some seem to think DNA makes everything OK ..
or that family has to be best friends they don't.
I see so many families that fake it and pretend at being friends...... dread holidays and gatherings .......but then play it off ....when others say they are not friends with siblings .........that they are so close.... i doubt it.

people grow and change and often do not pursue similar interests and have nothing in common.What do you talk about after any updates on basic items and remembering some same old family story then disagree about the details......

My siblings are horrible people....... i would not become friends with them if i met them anywhere else....

ANY addiction ruins people and no DNA is going to fix that.

I use to torment myself asking how they could become such horrible people when we had same parents/ raised same way.
 
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charry said:
My mum , has always caused trouble between all 5 of us......
She hates any of us getting close...everything has to go through her and still does , even tho she’s 95 ........
Dob.....my eldest sister is a drunk and so rude...I’ve put up with her for years , but finally about 10yrs ago...enough was enough..... Thankgod she’s 400 miles away....!!!
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Gosh, I'm sorry to hear about your mom's treatment of you and your siblings. I wonder why she does that?

I've tried for many years to be more understanding and caring of my sister's behavior, but when her 'ugly ' comes out, it's always directed towards me. Cause I guess, she knows I'll forgive her. But, this last time....was the last time!!
She needs a lot of attention, so I'm going to stay away so she can get it.

I'll love her from afar, like my brother does...we all live about 1 mile from each other. lol
 
I re-read my post seems quite cold ...... but i would ask anyone to imagine running into the most self centered needy people you can picture and then being told you are supposed to have any sort of relationship with them.....

I guess i do not understand the concept of forgive and forget just because you had the same parents...
my dad was only child so no issue for him, but my mother, I remember talked crap about her siblings each time we were headed to any event then smiled and hugged them as if they were so great.........seemed so two faced and awkward to me.......... that really confuses a child to see a parent who insists that you do not lie .....do it at every family event.

My siblings were NEVER there for me ..... always about them ..... I tried but there was no saving them from themselves.
My husband saw it early on.... put up with horrible family events for years before I decided they were just too far gone to be around our kids etc..... I appreciate he wanted me to make the decision myself.... they still blame him I am sure.

they even lie to old family friends and cousins etc to explain why they have no contact.............. had a cousin believe I was in a coma for the last 7 years...it was a real hoot listening to their tall tales of what happened.
Have ran into a few of my siblings past friends............. when they asked about them said I have zero to do with them and they all say "good for you......"

Reading through other posts I wish it was just different opinions or beliefs that is something a person could overcome.
 
My mom had psychiatric issues. She was extremely manipulative, and strove to cause dissention. Let me give you an example, my brother's 17/18 year old daughter was mixed up with a 43 year old married guy., with three kids Without my brother knowing about it, my mom would let them use her upstairs bedroom as a rendezvous place. My mom was always having fights with this one , and that one. When I was little kid, I remember the bright, flashing blue lights of the cop cars that came to break up fights. My family all moved away from the small town we came from. We just kind of lead our own lives. I don't know how much, if any, did my mom's issues contribute to that.
 
After reading about some of the families, you wonder. My ex adored her brother, but his wife always put the ex down. Well, anyway, She hadn't heard from him in over a month, so we drove down to where they used to live. There was a "For Sale" sign on the house. They were gone, he sold his home, and moved away to another state, without ever telling my ex. I really felt bad for her. And the thing was she was so tickled to have him as her brother. Geesh, families.
 
I am the youngest of three. Middle brother was 10 years older than me (he passed in 2016) we were always close..and friends. My oldest brother is 15 years older. In his 80s now. He moved on out of home when I was about 2. So we never really developed a close brother/sister relationship. We spent many years not being close. But now that we are both adults we communicate MUCH more often. Monthly (or more) phone call. See each other maybe once a year. I am in NY, he is in Conn. I do enjoy our new relationship.
 
I only have one sister, nine years my elder. We both endured and she helped me survive a narcissistic, emotionally abusive mother for decades. Although geographically separated by over 200 miles, we remain close in the things that matter. I've just come to accept that her children and grandchildren claim most of her time and energy, which is as it should be...

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We all get on really well but unfortunately several live overseas, so the chances of seeing them in the near future is not on the cards 😢
 
i guess the definition of friends has been redefined..........

When i was on facebook....... i was "friends" with former co-workers that i have not seen or spoken to in over a decade.........
have not seen or spoke to siblings in many years either.........

i guess the difference is some of those long lost co-workers i would sit down and have a coffee or tea with and catch up .............

siblings no way...
 
Two sisters, both dead from unwise life choices. One brother (younger). We got along as kids, sort of. I think I teased him too much which always set him off - then we'd fight lol. He's not been very motivated in life and has a bad temper so I had drifted away from him in our adult lives. Now our Mom is in a care facility close to where he lives and we have had to communicate over various issues in the past 6 months or so. It's been good and nice to have re-established a relationship. I wonder what will happen once Mom passes though. I expect we'll drift apart again after awhile. We are just two very different people with different lives and different interests. That plus we don't live anywhere near each other. As far as other relatives, we rarely communicate. When you live in a very isolated place, people tend to just forget about you I think. Maybe I should be making more of an effort? Yeah .... maybe not.
 
This thread motivated me to send a text to my brother. That is basically our connection, texting each other a couple times a year. He replied with a nice long response and offer to visit in the summer (assuming vaccinated by then I think, he is still waiting to be eligible and so am I). He also said he enjoyed my holiday letter. So now I'm regretting having hand written it because I have no idea what I said and don't want to be one of those people who keep repeating the same news in each letter, but there is so little going on this year, ugh hard to think of anything interesting to say.
 
Right Now said:
My older brother and I never did get along, different as night and day. He lies and always has, and I can't tolerate it. My sister is 4 years younger than me. I thought we were always quite close, until one day she decided we weren't. They are both in FL now, so many miles separate us, too. I love her, but have only spoken to her twice in ten years. So, no close ties with them at all, and hasn't been for over a decade. Families are a tough bunch, for certain. I agree with others here, after the parents are gone, the stuffing leaves the pillow.
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@Right Now I have a younger sister and we are 'convenient siblings'
 
HoneyNut said:
This thread motivated me to send a text to my brother. That is basically our connection, texting each other a couple times a year. He replied with a nice long response and offer to visit in the summer (assuming vaccinated by then I think, he is still waiting to be eligible and so am I). He also said he enjoyed my holiday letter. So now I'm regretting having hand written it because I have no idea what I said and don't want to be one of those people who keep repeating the same news in each letter, but there is so little going on this year, ugh hard to think of anything interesting to say.
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No need to stress too much about repeating yourself, because if your brother is like me he'll have forgotten much of the content of your handwritten letter by now, and simply remember how pleasant it is to receive something handwritten! :)
 
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