How do you get people to like you?

I just be me. :D I'm a warm, friendly person. I have no trouble engaging people in conversation, finding out about them and giving honest compliments. By the end of the evening when we went to see my friend perform at a restaurant, the waitress that served my son, his GF and me told me she felt it was a blessing to have met me! I get compliments like that from people I've just met a lot. My husband used to say "You twinkle". Funny thing is ...when I was younger, I was quite shy and had no self confidence at all.
 

OneEyedDiva said:
I just be me. :D I'm a warm, friendly person. I have no trouble engaging people in conversation, finding out about them and giving honest compliments. By the end of the evening when we went to see my friend perform at a restaurant, the waitress that served my son, his GF and me told me she felt it was a blessing to have met me! I get compliments like that from people I've just met a lot. My husband used to say "You twinkle". Funny thing is ...when I was younger, I was quite shy and had no self confidence at all.
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You’ve got an exceptionally engaging personality and take the time to get to know others. You remind me of how I was in my younger years. I had a lot of friends when I was younger.
 

I agree with Diva- and have no problem conversing with almost anyone and PeppermintPatty is right- OneEyedDiva does have a Great honest and steadfast personality and her inner beauty shines through it , and,
of course the beauty of her and her daughter!

I was a very shy person in my youth, but our life can bring so many travails, and losses, that I feel confident in who I am as a senior.

I learned that it is the difficult times we have ,that give us strength and wisdom.

I know a few seniors who live in the past- but the past is gone forever.

However those of us who have had a very rough childhood do feel that pain from time to time, no matter how far away it actually was.

I also stay away from negative people as much as I can. A Friend of mine calls negative people 'psychic vampires' ,as they can drain us of
the ability to be positive and happy.
 
Nathan said:
Well it just happens. The more you "try" to get people to like you, the more you'll attract losers and users.

Here's the deal: If people don't want to sock you in the nose then they probably like you. However, even some people that DO want to sock you in the nose might still like you, nonetheless. There are other people that, even-though they don't want to sock you in the nose, may not really like you one way or another.
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I think you are backwards
 
How do you get people to like you?...buy a Beach House :giggle: (see last paragraph). I basically had no friends a year ago and hadn't seen my two sisters in a decade.

I now have 5 "close" friends in my new neighborhood. I have a sister and husband who plan to spend Thanksgiving here every year.
My other sister has airline reservations to come visit in a few months with her husband.
I have a long lost friend that sent me a pic of her family for Christmas. She has a family of 14 now.

I actually don't mind and I'm welcoming all with open arms. It's nice and brings me joy.

You don't really have to buy a beach house. I guess the lesson here is to have something fun and interesting going on in your life that makes others want to share in your fun. I was always focused on raising 4 children and with that came some drama. Now my focus is on a whole kaleidoscope of life which is more interesting. Letting our light shine. Showing our gratitude. And lighthearted conversation helps attract people.
 
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More important is that you like you. There is no barrier to that. With other people, some will and some won’t. It is possible to feel affirmed both by those who do and those who don’t. Eliciting others affection just confuses the situation. There are way more people in the world than you have time for.
 
Sciguy said:
I am woefully unqualified to answer that question.
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Same here. I read an article a few years ago that said that the part of the brain that controls friendship (in other words, any kind of human relationship that doesn't involve romantic love or s*x) peaks at about the age of 8; after that it becomes harder and harder to make friends or be open to someone wanting to be friends with you or even just getting along with people.

And since I pretty much wasn't taught sh*t during those important formative childhood years, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

I read another article recently that said, "Oh, you want to make sure you have friends in your old age? Here's the only way: get in a time machine, go back in time to when you were a kid, preferably before about 8 years old, and if you didn't make friends the first time you were a kid, make sure to make them this time; and then never ever move away from that area and don't let any of your friends move either. And that's the only way you'll have friends in your old age."

You know I'm beginning to understand more and more why the psychiatric/psychologist/counselor profession has such problems with depression. The more we learn about the human brain, the more it seems to become clear that most humans aren't living at all in the best way for us to live: kids not being taught anything important (like how to even just get along with others, let alone be friends) in those important early years, everybody being moved around before they can even make friends. No wonder so many of us are depressed.

I read another article a few years ago about a guy who was the head bartender in a big fancy cocktail lounge in a big fancy hotel in New York City where they had a lot of conventions.

He said one of the groups that came every year was the American Psychiatric Assn. and every year he heard at least a couple of the participants say to another, "You know I'm really beginning to wish I hadn't gone into this line of work. I feel like they only way I could really help my poor patients is to tell them to get in a time machine and go back and choose better parents to be born to." And the other participant(s) would always agree. The bartender said he heard that every single year.

So depressing, I know but in some ways, learning all the above has taken some of my guilt away, realizing it's not all my fault; sorta taken some weight off my shoulders.
 
Nathan said:
Well it just happens. The more you "try" to get people to like you, the more you'll attract losers and users.

Here's the deal: If people don't want to sock you in the nose then they probably like you. However, even some people that DO want to sock you in the nose might still like you, nonetheless. There are other people that, even-though they don't want to sock you in the nose, may not really like you one way or another.
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Mr. Ed said:
I think you are backwards
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Perhaps that's true on some level, but I stand by my assertion that:
Nathan said:
Well it just happens. The more you "try" to get people to like you, the more you'll attract losers and users.
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