Right Through The Cracks

Face reality. We live in different times now. The old saying: One Man’s Junk is Another Man’s Treasure
Well, just turn that around .. and that's where we are today. The world is over populated with people and material goods.
 

StarSong said:
What's different is that most young people aren't interested in this stuff, just as our generation wasn't interested in owning things from the 1880s.

They have a right to not want or value what we wanted or valued.
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Hey, just wait till their kids want to collect "doillies" or something...lol. Boy will they be surprised!
 
debodun said:
Well, what IS different?
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The difference may be that most people born and raised before WWII had very few material possessions, the I got an orange in my stocking for Christmas generations. While the people born and raised in the years following WWII had many many more material possessions. The older generations valued stuff and the newer generations have sort of overdosed on stuff or realize that if they need something it's just a few mouse clicks away. At least that's a theory! :)

The fact is that no matter what is going on in the larger world around us we still need to do what is best for each of us as individuals and for me, that means I need to lighten the load.

Good luck!
 
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That's just it, Deb. "Valuable items" in our estimation aren't valuable to anybody else. It's sort of like our homes and our cars...we almost always feel like they're worth more than they really are. They're only worth more to US.

The most freeing thing I ever did was to downsize...now I have seven pieces of furniture if I count the two bookcases. What didn't sell at yard sales got loaded up and taken to Goodwill. That included the blankety-blank Haviland china. Pfffft. I don't miss any of it!
 
Later generations favor enriching experiences rather than things.

We can fly off to anywhere, roadtrips are quicker, most people have cars and there's more to see. We eat more casually; fancy serving ware isn't needed as much anymore.

Past generations couldn't travel the world like people today, on their time off. They'll save for travel, not for antiques.
 
My sister has two adult sons. The sons have told my sister and her husband that they don't want any of the "junk" (as they call it) and if there comes a time when they inherit it, they'll just throw it out. They didn't say it as bluntly as I have put it here but they did make it known that they just don't want the mountains of things. My daughters feel much the same about my stuff. I have offered many things to them over and again and I get the same "no, you keep it Mom, it looks nice in your house".
 
Leann said:
My sister has two adult sons. The sons have told my sister and her husband that they don't want any of the "junk" (as they call it) and if there comes a time when they inherit it, they'll just throw it out. They didn't say it as bluntly as I have put it here but they did make it known that they just don't want the mountains of things. My daughters feel much the same about my stuff. I have offered many things to them over and again and I get the same "no, you keep it Mom, it looks nice in your house".
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I understand fully Leann. I went through that too. .. I'm past the big house/yard and years of collected family belongings now. Everything is gone or found a new home. Sold the property and have started a new chapter after losing my husband. As I moved to my apartment with bare essentials and just enough furniture and small things that make me smile, my two daughters informed me that when I die they will just open the door and tell people to help themselves. How's that? 🙂
(But in all fairness, they put a lot of time and hard work into the house sale, along with their husbands, and helped me with everything involved. They moved me to my apartment also .... so I guess they can feel that way.) 😀

So I look at what I'm surrounded with these days in a new light, and I'll enjoy it ..lol
 
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debodun said:
People to whom I have discussed this theme, either in person or through social media, have been shocked when they tell their children that will be inheriting their possession only to be told their kids don't want it. I shudder to think every day how many valuable items are put in a dumpster because they are unwanted or the family just can't be bothered to find a buyer or collector.
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The thing is -- that nothing really has any intrinsic value. A thing is only worth something insofar as someone else is willing to pay money to own it.

Even gold and diamonds have no actual intrinsic value -- they are only valuable because people see them as desirable and want to own them.

So things that once were valuable become worthless because no one sees them as desirable or wants to own them anymore.

Younger people are not collecting things anymore, largely because they do not want to be burdened down by stuff they do not see as benefiting their modern-day lifestyles. Stuff that mostly just sits around and collects dust and is difficult to just throw in a box and move easily if they decide to move for work or whatever simply is of no value to them and they do not want it. Stuff like glassware collections and so on are seen by most of them as just so much junk and another burden. It's just a fact of modern life.
 
I've moved 10-12 times in my life so far. And each time I would ask myself "how did I get so much stuff?". So I would dutifully go through everything, make multiple trips to donation centers and then swear to myself that I wasn't going to let my next home or apartment fill up again. Invariably it would happen, maybe not to as great degree as it had in the past.

I've decided to employ a "moving but not really moving" strategy into my current lifestyle and home. I'm looking at each room, closet, drawer, cabinet and storage space with a critical eye and asking myself to decide what I would pack and take with me if I was moving in six months. This fresh approach is already helping me to clear things out.

And if I do move at some future point (which I most likely will into an apartment or a senior facility when the time comes), it will be that much less that I or anyone helping me will have to deal with.
 
The real market value of something - whether it be real estate, goods or services - can only be determined in one way. It is the amount you are willing to pay and I am willing to accept at a given time. Yesterdays and tomorrows don't count.

I gained major contentment and peace of mind when I realized that things really are just things and stopped letting my life be controlled by them. Keep what makes you happy and let the rest go. Life is short. Move on. A perfect world does not exist. We must learn to accept good enough.
 
My mom grew up during the Depression. Her father earned less than $10 a WEEK and had to support himself, his wife and 4 children on that. She and one of her brothers were once institutionalized because they were malnourished. I think that psychologically affected my mom and when she got to a point in her life that she could acquire things, she went a little overboard, almost bordering on being a hoarder. She would go to garage sales and auctions and just buy them out - didn't matter what it was or in what condition. Maybe she had the idea that all that china, glassware and Victorian furniture would be a nice inheritance for me. Who knew the American economy would tank in the 1990s and the bottom would fall out of the antiques market. I have several price guides to glassware and the older ones have higher prices than the newer ones - things don't always get more valuable with age. On average, prices now are half what they were 20 years ago. I wish she had taken all that money she spent on things no one wants anymore and invested it in CDs (not compact disks).
 
In addition to all the changes that have been mentioned in this discussion, there are also big changes to our lifestyles brought about by technology. I have mentioned elsewhere on this forum the big project I've just completed, of wading through all the thousands of slides my late husband left. They are a lovely record of our family history, at least starting with him and me, but who looks at slides any more? I've picked out about 700 of the best ones, nearly all of people, not scenery, and had them digitized and put on DVD's at Costco. I am giving them to my kids and grandkids, hoping they will treasure these memories and will keep the DVD's, as at least they are compact and easy to take with them when they move. But I realize that even those things will become obsolete. Maybe all pictures will be kept on "the cloud" or some other form of electronic memory.

Photos are not as precious to the young as they were to us. Their phones go with them everywhere and are nearly an extension of their bodies. Anything that piques their interest gets dozens of pictures if they like, then they are instantly shared with everybody, around the world at times. Who needs an old fashioned photo album, slides, or any of the rest of it?

The photos are one of the most dramatic changes, but in general, everything has become smaller and more portable. They do not want big, heavy furniture, except maybe the couch and the bed. And they seem to have no interest in our "precious" china, glassware, silver (especially silver!) or any of the rest of it. Maybe the pendulum will swing back, who knows?
 
debodun said:
...I wish she had taken all that money she spent on things no one wants anymore and invested it in CDs (not compact disks).
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Deb, rare indeed is the person our age - or younger - who hasn't had this thought when clearing possessions from someone a generation older than us. My in-laws "invested" thousands of dollars in worthless Franklin Mint coins and other "collectibles." I use quotation marks because despite how they were marketed, other than the few silver coins that have some precious metal value, the lion's share of these items are neither investments nor collectibles, but rather pure trash.)

Many of our own heirs will someday feel the same way about our belongings. I have gobs of fine jewelry (gold and precious stones) from my earlier years and as inheritances from my mother and grandmother. Some pieces I've already passed down to my daughter and DILs, but nobody wears this stuff anymore. When was the last time you saw a 40 year old or younger woman sporting a diamond tennis bracelet?

I keep the jewelry in a bank safety deposit box and take out a bit for weddings and fancy parties and then return it. I have no idea what will happen to it eventually. Perhaps my kids will hold onto a few favorites and sell the rest for the weight of the gold and the value of the gems.
 
If you are a coin collector there is a bright spot though ... certain rare old coins can still bring in some big dollars. That probably has never changed.
Just heard yesterday about a 1943 Copper Penny that someone got $170,000 for. ... It was one of those 'error' coins that wasn't supposed to get out, but some did find their way into circulation.
 
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Sunny said:
Photos are not as precious to the young as they were to us. Who needs an old fashioned photo album, slides, or any of the rest of it?
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I know what you mean, Sunny. I have my parents photo album and the one they stared for me when I was born. I am an only child and never married or had my own childrem. Who would even be interested in these photos?
 
Yanno, Deb, in your shoes I think I'd just figure out a (bargain) flat price for the house and contents "as is," collect the money and find a place where you can start over with all brand new everything that you get to choose yourself. Only take with you your favorite things. Just get the money, hand over the keys, turn your back and hit the road. It beats agonizing over it all. And, as I've said before, downsizing is freeing. VERY freeing. The stuff that I've had to sell or give away? Pfffft. Haven't missed any of it. Truly haven't.
 
Sunny said:
In addition to all the changes that have been mentioned in this discussion, there are also big changes to our lifestyles brought about by technology. I have mentioned elsewhere on this forum the big project I've just completed, of wading through all the thousands of slides my late husband left. They are a lovely record of our family history, at least starting with him and me, but who looks at slides any more? I've picked out about 700 of the best ones, nearly all of people, not scenery, and had them digitized and put on DVD's at Costco. I am giving them to my kids and grandkids, hoping they will treasure these memories and will keep the DVD's, as at least they are compact and easy to take with them when they move. But I realize that even those things will become obsolete. Maybe all pictures will be kept on "the cloud" or some other form of electronic memory.
...
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We had a large case of family slides that sat for years untouched by anyone. ... my younger daughter took them when we were cleaning out the house to sell, and she had them digitized also.
 
I really cannot add much to this conversation except to reiterate that people of our parents, and our generation often treasured stuff more than now. In our parents day, people lived in their homes for 40-50 years some time, and thus acquired a lot of possessions.
The younger generation now is more mobile, do not stay in one place as long, and have no desire or need for "stuff" except for basic needs.
I agree with @StarSong that your only option may be to break down and let it go. Put it at the road, hope people will just take it all. It is obvious you are not having luck selling or donating the items.
I am downsizing a lot now, just so when I go, my family will not have to deal with it all. My husband's clothes that are still in good shape are going to a local men's homeless shelter. As well as a couple pieces of furniture as they do provide short term rooms there for the men.
I think that you will feel much better if you just let it go. You have the house, itself, to deal with which you have said may be hard to sell
 
debodun said:
I know what you mean, Sunny. I have my parents photo album and the one they stared for me when I was born. I am an only child and never married or had my own childrem. Who would even be interested in these photos?
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Debodum, about your photos .... contact distant cousins. Any who are doing genealogy would be interested in family photos especially if they include common ancestors or family events. If you aren't close to any, accept a free trial membership to Ancestry and do a search for your grandparents. There is a very good chance you can find distant relatives who are researching your line. Finding a diary or photo of an old common ancestor is like gold to a person researching family history. The web site is very easy to use and also provides a way to message others. If you use the free introductory thingie, be sure to follow the directions to cancel if they have asked for a credit card.

Also, if any of your photos or memorabilia have any historical value such as picturing period clothing or other items, a local (city, county or even state) historical society might be interested.
 
The house next door has had a dresser out on the corner with a FREE sign on it for weeks and no one has taken it. Things are so bad here, you can't give things away.
 

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