My husband retired a month ago. He is 64-1/2. I am 62. It is really sooner than I would have liked but it's what he wanted. I will continue working. I love my job and make a good living at it. We will not be pulling social security or retirement yet. We are going to try to manage on my salary and our savings. It's depressing to have my income cut in half. We used to live a fairly comfortable life but he has always been a spender. He spends too much money and evidently now thinks that retirement is a vacation. He's upset with me that I've told him he needs to cut back. I've noticed the past month that he gets bored during the day so he goes to the store. I've laid all expenses out on a spreadsheet and we have been able to make a few changes but not nearly enough.
I enjoyed having the house to myself for an hour or so in the morning after he left for work. I would get to watch what news station I wanted to watch and catch up on DVR recordings while getting ready for work (he has control of the remote.....I could watch in another room but I rather like the TV in the family room so I DVR a lot of stuff. He seems to think he can dictate what I watch). Now there's no time to watch my recordings.
He goes to bed earlier than me because of all of those years of going to work at 6 a.m. and I get an hour to myself in the evening to chill. I tend to watch things he doesn't like and he will ALWAYS comment on what station the TV was on when he gets up in the morning so I try to remember to change it before I go to bed. (I do the same thing with the car radio -- eliminates one less thing for him to b*tch about).
I work from home 2 days a week, 3 days in the office, and I cherished those work from home days because I was there by myself where I had peace and quiet. That is all gone. He is always there! With the exception of a few times per summer when he camps up at acreage we have in the forest. Those days are few and far between and they are a vacation for me to be home by myself! He tends to like to control things and thinks he can plan my 2 days off on the weekend.
Sewing and crafting seem to be a thing of the past now. I used to take vacation days from work when he was working just to get things done at home, run errands, time to do what I want to do but I can't even do that anymore. I tried it recently and he seemed to think he could plan my day for me. After 41 years of marriage and trying to keep him happy, this is just getting worse and worse. What can I do to pull myself out of this? I wish he'd go back to work but he has no intention of doing that.
I enjoyed having the house to myself for an hour or so in the morning after he left for work. I would get to watch what news station I wanted to watch and catch up on DVR recordings while getting ready for work (he has control of the remote.....I could watch in another room but I rather like the TV in the family room so I DVR a lot of stuff. He seems to think he can dictate what I watch). Now there's no time to watch my recordings.
He goes to bed earlier than me because of all of those years of going to work at 6 a.m. and I get an hour to myself in the evening to chill. I tend to watch things he doesn't like and he will ALWAYS comment on what station the TV was on when he gets up in the morning so I try to remember to change it before I go to bed. (I do the same thing with the car radio -- eliminates one less thing for him to b*tch about).
I work from home 2 days a week, 3 days in the office, and I cherished those work from home days because I was there by myself where I had peace and quiet. That is all gone. He is always there! With the exception of a few times per summer when he camps up at acreage we have in the forest. Those days are few and far between and they are a vacation for me to be home by myself! He tends to like to control things and thinks he can plan my 2 days off on the weekend.
Sewing and crafting seem to be a thing of the past now. I used to take vacation days from work when he was working just to get things done at home, run errands, time to do what I want to do but I can't even do that anymore. I tried it recently and he seemed to think he could plan my day for me. After 41 years of marriage and trying to keep him happy, this is just getting worse and worse. What can I do to pull myself out of this? I wish he'd go back to work but he has no intention of doing that.