When is levity not appropriate?

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
I always try to lighten the mood on somber occasions. At my mother's funeral, I was told "She's now at peace, you're at peace and the whole town is finally at peace." I thought that was a riot, but when I tried it recently at a funeral, I get looked at like I was insane.
 

At my grandfathers funeral, the funeral parlor had very thick carpets and people would build up a static charge just walking on it. When they reached for a doorknob they would throw a spark for several inches and get a shock. It was difficult to keep a straight face with this happening every couple of minutes.
 
debodun said:
I always try to lighten the mood on somber occasions. At my mother's funeral, I was told "She's now at peace, you're at peace and the whole town is finally at peace." I thought that was a riot, but when I tried it recently at a funeral, I get looked at like I was insane.
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I might have laughed at that. Depends on the exact context. Not just a funeral context. But our shared knowledge of the woman. Some people tend to overdo the sombre at funerals.
 
Well, it depends if it's a sad funeral or a happy one. A sad one is a tragic death, but a happy one is a release from the ravages of time after a well lived life. I will not have a "viewing", nor a funeral. I do NOT want some SOB to walk up to my casket, after I've been dead for three days; and say, "Doesn't he look good?"
 
RadishRose said:
Although
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
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I've heard this before, and I like it so much!

I hate all the endless sayings at funerals. That being said, I know people are just trying to be polite.

I was told once that the best thing to say was "I'm sorry." I go with that now. I'm not one for levity, I know it offends some people. I do try to respect their grief.
 
The question was

When is levity not appropriate

Reminds me of a story about bus passengers.

On a bus route there were regular passengers & some that rode only a few days a week.

One day when a regular passenger got on the bus driver looked up, put both hands to his throat & did a jerking motion. The passenger nodded and took his seat.

When the passenger got off, one of the passengers that rode occasionally asked the bus driver about what did with that hand to the throat thing.

The bus driver said "oh I've known him for a long time". OK but what's with the hands to the throat.

Well the hands to the throat was because that guy's son hung himself & I thought I'd kid him about it.

IMO that bus driver's levity was not appropriate
 
debodun said:
I always try to lighten the mood on somber occasions. At my mother's funeral, I was told "She's now at peace, you're at peace and the whole town is finally at peace." I thought that was a riot, but when I tried it recently at a funeral, I get looked at like I was insane.
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Well, I'm a guessing levity ain't right for them that step on the scales and scales don't go that high.
Again, my mind ain't right.
 
Knight said:
The question was

When is levity not appropriate

Reminds me of a story about bus passengers.

On a bus route there were regular passengers & some that rode only a few days a week.

One day when a regular passenger got on the bus driver looked up, put both hands to his throat & did a jerking motion. The passenger nodded and took his seat.

When the passenger got off, one of the passengers that rode occasionally asked the bus driver about what did with that hand to the throat thing.

The bus driver said "oh I've known him for a long time". OK but what's with the hands to the throat.

Well the hands to the throat was because that guy's son hung himself & I thought I'd kid him about it.

IMO that bus driver's levity was not appropriate
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I hope that you are kidding. If that bus driver did that to me, the only thing he would be driving is a wheelchair.
 
Manatee said:
At my grandfathers funeral, the funeral parlor had very thick carpets and people would build up a static charge just walking on it. When they reached for a doorknob they would throw a spark for several inches and get a shock. It was difficult to keep a straight face with this happening every couple of minutes.
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how come I got visions of a relative touching the deceased and a static electric discharge jumping from the relative...
Doctor Frankstein done come to the funeral-mercy!
 
To clarify my earlier remark, funerals are different from memorial services or celebrations of someone's life. Levity isn't usually appropriate at funerals, because the decedent has recently passed and the family/friends are still in deep shock or mourning.

Memorial/celebration services are often held weeks or even months later, when the shock has worn off and loved ones can see beyond their grief and enjoy hearing/telling heartfelt stories and amusing experiences they shared with the person who passed.

@debodun I'd say the remark you described in your first post was bizarre and inappropriate. If someone said that to me at my mother's funeral I would have asked the person to leave under his/her own speed or with assistance from some of my law-enforcement friends.
 
StarSong said:
I'd say the remark you described in your first post was bizarre and inappropriate. If someone said that to me at my mother's funeral I would have asked the person to leave under his/her own speed or with assistance from some of my law-enforcement friends.
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To each his/her own. It's just that I've never been terribly upset or mournful about a human's passing.
 

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