Anyone seen Ruthanne?

Status
Not open for further replies.
So, applecruncher, do you ignore a missing person in real life and show no concern for the disappearance of your friend or loved one? I think the thoughts expressed in this thread are mostly to help us active members all know that we don't have to worry that the person died. We are all seniors with increasing health issues after all.

In real life investigations from every angle begin when a person disappears and when and it's out of character. I respect everyone's concern here for their friend.
 

Last edited:
@Lara

Um, No, that's not at all what applecruncher said. Puhleeeze. You disagree so you want to twist what I DID say.

I refuse to bat this back & forth and play your mind game. Have a nice day.
 
I'm relatively new here, but I have been thinking for the last few days that with all the speculation and re-hashing and psychoanalyzing of the lady in question, if I were her, I might be embarrassed to come back. Until ready, of course.
 

You make a good point, Applecruncher. Being overly concerned about every absence can be intrusive and annoying, and publicly asking why someone has suddenly disappeared from the forum, and speculating about their emotional state, is venturing into what is clearly none of their business.

The other side of the coin, though, is a kind of cold, uncaring attitude. Some people on these forums are just casual browsers. Some have made it an important part of their life, and formed real friendships across the miles. There is something unnatural about just shrugging off an unexplained absence in the latter case.

In my weekly bridge game, if someone doesn't show up once or twice, no one says a word. But if they disappear for an extended period of time, someone always asks, "Has anyone seen so-and-so? Is she all right?" So I guess the appropriate response depends on whether they used to show up pretty regularly, and how long they have been gone.

So, what is appropriate to do? Where is Miss Manners when we need her?

P.S. I think the e-mail solution that Holly and I referred to is our best bet. That might get no response either, but it's really all we have.
 
CeeCee said:
I just looked and she posted on Facebook 8 hrs ago but I see her post animal pics on there almost every day.

I’m still having a very hard time with losing Pickles so I scroll past any pics of animals quickly...hope she doesn’t think I’m avoiding her....just animal pics.
Click to expand...

I agree with everyone else about getting another dog, but you will know when the time is right. At first, when I lost my Chipper, I just hurt from the pain of losing someone I loved so much, and missed him being in my life.
Eventually, I realized that I also missed having an affectionate dog in my life, one to pet and hold, as well as missing Chipper himself.
When I got Poodle, I knew that he would never replace Chipper, and I didn’t expect him to; but he was someone new in my life, and as time passes, I am growing to love Poodle in his own right, as the sweet little personality that he is.

Part of your sadness is from losing your wonderful Pickles, but under there somewhere, I think that you are also missing the companionship that a dog gives us when we love them so much.
 
I’m on the fence about the topic of this thread and think I may have started one about Lara some 8 months ago so understand the concern part. It’s nice knowing members care about us, especially when we are down.

While nothing bad was mentioned, it is‘speculating’ about a members whereabouts and why they may have left which may cause undue embarrassment to all parties concerned.
It’s all part of forum life though.

Nobody should feel bad about it and it certainly wasn’t a criticism of anyone.
It’s sweet people show they care. ❤️

****************************

Losing our pets is so difficult. We lost our last dog 4 years ago. She was diabetic, blind and had epilepsy but was always so joyous and happy. When she died, a part of me died with her. It hurt so much that I needed another dog just to keep me busy so I didn’t wallow in sorrow.

Neither one of us wanted to mention getting another dog so soon, if only not to upset the other but we had each been secretly looking online at other dogs for sale. Finally one afternoon, just 2 weeks after losing our last girl, we went for a long walk only to discover we’d been eyeing the same schnoodle puppy. That very night we drove into Mennonite country to pick up our second schnoodle. She looked just like our last dog as a puppy; all different colours then turned into a silver coloured dog; just like our other.

It was magical to us.
She didn’t instantly fill that void but softened the edges substantially. Plus she pure joy and excitement just like the last.
A fun loving personality......
but don’t they all?
 
Last edited:
If she's posting on FB then it's nothing to worry about. And she joined a dating site, maybe she's busy there. She said she was planning to meet that guy that lives close to her, maybe she's busy dating him? Let's hope there's nothing to worry about and she just needs a break from our forum.
 
.
applecruncher said:
Getting back to ruthanne, there's been some behind the scenes discussion about the inappropriateness of these types of "why hasn't so-and-so posted for a few days?" threads. Nobody has spoken out in open forum, so I'll say a few things.

I don't like them. They put people on the spot and create drama. In the case of ruthanne, insinuating that she's overly sensitive......dredging up an exchange between her & Matrix from another thread......ugh. That's just wrong.

Inquiring about emails and Facebook...is it really necessary to issue an APB (all points bulletin) just because someone hasn't posted for a few days?

As far as being "concerned"and worried, if something IS wrong, is the concerned member gonna hop on a plane, send a check/flowers, contact the police or paramedics in that person's city? Come on. 🙄 I doubt it.

Not every member's life revolves around Senior Forums. Nobody owes an explanation as to why they haven't posted. Life gets in the way, as do computer problems, real-life friends & relatives, dozens of things that need to get done, and yes...sometimes people just don't want to participate on SF anymore. Such is life.
Click to expand...

You're right no-one owes anyone an explanation as to why they're not here and I wouldn't expect one from Ruthanne..
however as she usually posts every day unless she's poorly, and lives alone, and has recently been unwell, it was a simple concern that she or anyone in the same position is alright, nothing more nothing less. Just human compassion for another person !
 
Keesha said:
I’m on the fence about the topic of this thread and think I may have started one about Lara some 8 months ago so understand the concern part. It’s nice knowing members care about us, especially when we are down. While nothing bad was mentioned, it is‘speculating’ about a members whereabouts and why they may have left which may cause undue embarrassment to all parties concerned. It’s all part of forum life though. Nobody should feel bad about it and it certainly wasn’t a criticism of anyone. It’s sweet people show they care. ❤
Click to expand...
I remember when you posted that thread about me not being around for a few days, @Keesha . I felt good that someone showed concern about me. I had only good thoughts of your intentions as it showed you cared about me.

I think if someone leaves and comes back later to find that no one even made mention of missing them then they might be hurt and feeling invisible in cyber-space...like no one cared if they were here or not. Even if the thread is a mistake and they never really left...that's understood. The sweet thought of posting a thread of concern is what counts and assures the member that they aren't invisible.
 
Lara said:
I remember when you posted that thread about me not being around for a few days, @Keesha . I felt good that someone showed concern about me. I had only good thoughts of your intentions as it showed you cared about me.

I think if someone leaves and comes back later to find that no one even made mention of missing them then they might be hurt and feeling invisible in cyber-space...like no one cared if they were here or not. Even if the thread is a mistake and they never really left...that's understood. The sweet thought of posting a thread of concern is what counts and assures the member that they aren't invisible.
Click to expand...
Absolutely! I agree 100%. The pros FAR outweigh the cons. Yes there is a possibility that a member might be somewhat upset but my guess is that most people would feel grateful and appreciate that people actually care about them and the more I thought about it the more I realized that it was more right than wrong.

It’s a kind sweet thing to do and of course shows what caring, loving, wonderful members we truly are. 🥳😁🥰lol😉
 
If you start a conversation with other members, they will be notified by email immediately. It's probably more efficient to start a conversation first and wait 24~48 hours before starting a whereabouts thread.

Don't forget to include your email address in the conversation, in case they have decided to leave SF forever.
 
applecruncher said:
@Matrix
Question: if they were banned would they still be able to access the conversation function (to get an e mail addy of a member who is trying to contact them)?
Click to expand...
You are right, you can't start conversations with banned users, and you can't visit their profile pages either.
 
AC said: "Not every member's life revolves around Senior Forums. Nobody owes an explanation as to why they haven't posted. Life gets in the way, as do computer problems, real-life friends & relatives, dozens of things that need to get done, and yes...sometimes people just don't want to participate on SF anymore. Such is life."

On the other hand, it is nice to know that we are missed.
 
Keesha said:
We are buggers to you?
Should we be feeling hurt?🤔
Click to expand...
Bugger or "buggar" is a swear word. In the United Kingdom, the term is a general-purpose expletive, used to imply dissatisfaction, or to refer to someone or something whose behaviour is in some way displeasing or perhaps surprising. from Wikipedia.
 

Status
Not open for further replies.

Back
Top