If you say "no', why you should be able to keep an expensive token of my affection?

fuzzybuddy

fuzzybuddy

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The Sticks, Northeast PA.
I was watching TV, and there was a story about a woman, who created a ensemble (?) ring, pendant, earrings out of all the diamond engagement rings she received as requests for marriage. I thought- what!! she kept the engagements rings?????
Turns out this is considered proper etiquette. keeping diamond engagement rings is perfectly acceptable. As a very cheap male, I don't like that policy. If I'm forking over my heart and hard earned money to buy you an engagement ring,; and you say "no". Then you should return the ring, regardless of policy. I don't understand why you should be able to keep an expensive token of my affection. What do you feel?
 

I was watching TV, and there was a story about a woman, who created a ensemble (?) ring, pendant, earrings out of all the diamond engagement rings she received as requests for marriage. I thought- what!! she kept the engagements rings?????
Turns out this is considered proper etiquette. Keeping diamond engagement rings is perfectly acceptable. As a very cheap male, I don't like that policy. If I'm forking over my heart and hard earned money to buy you an engagement ring,; and you say "no". Then you should return the ring, regardless of policy. I don't understand why you should be able to keep an expensive token of my affection. What do you feel?
 

If she says "No to your offer" then you don't give her the ring in the first place. If it's a divorce then it depends how long you've been married and negotiable assets. It should always be fair.

I was married only 8 months to my first husband, but I kept the ring because he took my painting and the new sports car. I got the ring and a plant. A ring loses significant value as soon as you walk out of the jewelry store. So guess who got the better deal? Do I care? Not in the least. I was just glad to get out alive.
 
It depends. If it was a long engagement of years then I would keep the ring, I invested a long part of my life to the relationship. I don't know how she managed to have all those rings, though. You said ''If you say ,"NO" to my offer of marriage", most men with gray matter up there don't offer the ring if the woman refuses.
 
Short story: my daughter was "engaged" to a guy who we detested. He gave her a whopper of a rock but made her sign (and have notarized, no less) a statement that she would return the ring if they broke up. They broke up on a regular basis. One time, they came over and she was wearing the ring again. I said, "Oh, I see ______ has loaned you the ring again....." That didn't go over well.

I've had three engagement rings. Two I gave back. One I didn't get until I had been married for 25 years, so I kept that one, needless to say. The diamond from that one is incorporated in my granddaughter's engagement ring.
 
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If I'm forking over my heart and hard earned money to buy you an engagement ring,; and you say "no".

I don't understand why anyone would give the intended a ring if when asked the answer was no.

If however after saying yes then changing her mind later then legally the ring should be returned. Should & actually returning it has been known to get nasty. Dealing with nasty is a choice.
 
This happened to me and I gave back the ring. One of my aunts made a collection of them. She had the diamonds set all in one ring. If a person commented on the ring she would point out which diamond was from who. I was very young but even then thought that was a horrible thing to do.
 
What if he's the one who broke it off? Do you think she could keep it then? :rolleyes:

Just wondering and pondering. :unsure:

And on a silly note, imagine if she'd had that many guys propose, and then had each and every one of THEM, had decided not to marry her? :LOL:
 
Most states copy Pennsylvania’s statute that a ring that is given for an engagement is “considered a gift given on the condition that the marriage will happen.” If not, the ring must be returned.
 
Kaila said:
What if he's the one who broke it off? Do you think she could keep it then? :rolleyes:

Just wondering and pondering. :unsure:

And on a silly note, imagine if she'd had that many guys propose, and then had each and every one of THEM, had decided not to marry her? :LOL:
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Not in PA. No matter who breaks off the engagement, the ring must be returned to the purchaser. The ring is considered to be a gift given on the condition that a marriage will happen.
 
The law is interesting.
Are any other expensive gifts considered that way? As an assumed condition of something else?:rolleyes:

Such as, a car? Or a house?

If you gave someone a car, and then they broke off the (unmarried) relationship, they could keep it, right?
What if the car was an "engagement gift" :unsure:

If you gave someone a house, and then later, they didn't want you to live with them there any more,
would it legally still be theirs to keep?:oops:
 
911 said:
Not in PA. No matter who breaks off the engagement, the ring must be returned to the purchaser. The ring is considered to be a gift given on the condition that a marriage will happen.
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That's also the law in CA, but only if the woman breaks off the engagement. If the guy breaks it off, she can keep the ring.
 
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