Can you remember the first time someone said to you "Oh you're just an old person"

No one has ever spoken to me with that sort of disrespect. However, as my mother's age climbed into her 80s and beyond I observed people taking a social liberty that's generally unacceptable among adults. They'd ask her (or worse, ask me when she was standing right here) how old she was. Such a none-of-yer-bizness question to ask folks older than 12. How could that information possibly matter to the person at the next booth at a restaurant?

She'd tell them, then there would be the standard, "Well bless your heart" or "God bless you" response. Okkkkkkaaaayyyy

If anyone asks me that question, my plan is to ask, "Well, how old are YOU?" Assuming I get the answer, my response will be, "Then you're surely old enough to know better than to ask that question of a total stranger."
 

StarSong said:
No one has ever spoken to me with that sort of disrespect. However, as my mother's age climbed into her 80s and beyond I observed people taking a social liberty that's generally unacceptable among adults. They'd ask her (or worse, ask me when she was standing right here) how old she was. Such a none-of-yer-bizness question to ask folks older than 12. How could that information possibly matter to the person at the next booth at a restaurant?

She'd tell them, then there would be the standard, "Well bless your heart" or "God bless you" response. Okkkkkkaaaayyyy

If anyone asks me that question, my plan is to ask, "Well, how old are YOU?" Assuming I get the answer, my response will be, "Then you're surely old enough to know better than to ask that question of a total stranger."
Click to expand...
Well, I've read that people, women in particular, won't discuss their age past the age of 40 and then are proud to tell their age past 70. I just recently saw an old episode of the British show "As Time Goes By'' where this old woman sat on a chair and would tell anyone that spoke to her "I am 82" with pride.
 

I may be invisible, but my wife sure isn't. All the workers in our local Albertsons market know her by name and give her hugs. And, she knows all of theirs. A lot depends on your personality. I'm an introvert, and she's not. One time we were in Sears and she had to use the lady's room. She came out yakking with another woman like they were old friends. They weren't. I've never made a friend in the men's room.

Don
 
I believe that I have said Sir or Ma’am almost forever. In high school, if I didn’t address a teacher by Mr. or Mrs. so and so, it was usually Sir or Ma’am. Then, there was the Marines and of course, that was also Sir or Ma’am. Then as a Trooper, we were taught to address the citizens as Sir or Ma’am. Today, I still find myself saying one or both of those words.

To the best of my awareness, I have yet been called an old person to my face.
 
No one has ever called me old to my face. Being called “Ma’am” never bothered me, & I’ve noticed that military & veterans use it often. I guess I’m outspoken enough not to be a passive victim of ageism, but I have a related gripe. I have mobility issues so I use a walker, & have had a lot happen where people with mobility problems are ignored, passively excluded , or just barely tolerated. ADA requirements not met or improvised in such a way as to make them useless as accommodation.
On the other hand, I’ve had a lot of nice folks genuinely offer help, like holding a door etc., and strike up conversations to tell me their stories of walker users in their family .
 
C'est Moi said:
No, but the first time I was called "ma'am" was a depressing day. 👵
Click to expand...
Why? Addressing a female whose name you do not know(or even if you do know) as Ma'am is a sign of respect to any southerner especially if she was older than yourself. Most well-mannered children were taught it at home from an early age. What would you prefer? "Hey, bit@h!" Serve many years in the military and it will come out without thought.
 
No one has ever done so that I was aware except on occasion one of my children when joking. However, I'm good at reading facial expressions and I'm sure it has crossed many a mind but so what? It's the truth. No shame in it. Not everyone is granted the honor of ageing.
 
gennie said:
No one has ever done so that I was aware except on occasion one of my children when joking. However, I'm good at reading facial expressions and I'm sure it has crossed many a mind but so what? It's the truth. No shame in it. Not everyone is granted the honor of ageing.
Click to expand...
It crosses many people's mind how people look, the well mannered ones just don't say it out loud. Hell, when I was 15 I thought that 30 year olds were old (but I didn't say it to them).
 
You live in Houston and you're offended by "ma'am"? C'mon, this is the South! We say "sir" and "ma'am" as a matter of course! I'm happy if someone calls me ma'am. I confess, I like to startle people with my age. Had a ring resized because the shank had worn out a few weeks ago, and the clerk told me the new shank would last twenty years. "A lifetime guarantee, then," says I. She really looked startled!
 
Barneyhill said:
Can you remember the day or night someone looked at you and said point blankly " oh that's an old person" for the first time? When it first hit me I was about to enter K- mart one October night in 2001 I was 49. It took me by surprise the young lady's statement, frown and all. I was being prepped for the days ahead. Since then wow! Aging in America isn't it a dream? :p
Click to expand...

That has never happened to me. But now I'm curious. How old was this person who said that about you? Who was she talking to? What was the circumstances? Was she an employee? I would have written a complaint letter about the little twit.

In spite of what you said about being prepared at the age of 49 to get sass like that, I don't believe it's the norm.
 
CarolfromTX said:
You live in Houston and you're offended by "ma'am"? C'mon, this is the South! We say "sir" and "ma'am" as a matter of course! I'm happy if someone calls me ma'am. I confess, I like to startle people with my age. Had a ring resized because the shank had worn out a few weeks ago, and the clerk told me the new shank would last twenty years. "A lifetime guarantee, then," says I. She really looked startled!
Click to expand...
I was more taken aback than insulted, if you must know. I was very young and did not consider myself "ma'am" at that time. But thanks to you and others in this thread for trying to insult me, ma'am.
 
Olivia said:
That has never happened to me. But now I'm curious. How old was this person who said that about you? Who was she talking to? What was the circumstances? Was she an employee? I would have written a complaint letter about the little twit.

In spite of what you said about being prepared at the age of 49 to get sass like that, I don't believe it's the norm.
Click to expand...
She was young girl in her lateens and no she wasn't an employee of K-mart in all of the years of my shopping experience at that department store the young ladies and men were always polite to all age levels. Maybe where you live it's not the norm for young people to speak disrespectful to and about their elders but I live in a very unusual city and yes it is the norm on many occasions for youngsters to speak directly to older folks in a rather nasty way.

Why should they care?
And speaking of store employees put down seniors I saw that about 6 years while shopping at a local Aldi's it was on a Wednesday morning it was a large number of seniors shopping there that day. I was standing in line everyone in line with me appeared to be 50+. The male cashier looked to be in his mid 30's and he started talking about he and his wife's upcoming vacation trip to Orlando Florida.

Then he began this long complaining rant about all "the old folks" he and his wife would probably run into. The check out line turned silent and everyone just stared at this guy as he went on and on about all "the old folks" he didn't want to encounter in Orlando finally a lady yelled out "well I'm old what do you think about me?"

Oh yeah it's common in these parts for young people to express their desire not to contact old folks like I said they do it and don't care if you hear them or not. I posted in a thread here earlier about a couple in their 70's who tried to walk for exercise in their neighborhood but they had to stop because kids on their street threw rocks at them.

maybe there are havens in America where elders can live in peace and be respected but it sure isn't here.
That makes me ashamed.
 
Barneyhill said:
She was young girl in her lateens and no she wasn't an employee of K-mart in all of the years of my shopping experience at that department store the young ladies and men were always polite to all age levels. Maybe where you live it's not the norm for young people to speak disrespectful to and about their elders but I live in a very unusual city and yes it is the norm on many occasions for youngsters to speak directly to older folks in a rather nasty way.

Why should they care?
And speaking of store employees put down seniors I saw that about 6 years while shopping at a local Aldi's it was on a Wednesday morning it was a large number of seniors shopping there that day. I was standing in line everyone in line with me appeared to be 50+. The male cashier looked to be in his mid 30's and he started talking about he and his wife's upcoming vacation trip to Orlando Florida.

Then he began this long complaining rant about all "the old folks" he and his wife would probably run into. The check out line turned silent and everyone just stared at this guy as he went on and on about all "the old folks" he didn't want to encounter in Orlando finally a lady yelled out "well I'm old what do you think about me?"

Oh yeah it's common in these parts for young people to express their desire not to contact old folks like I said they do it and don't care if you hear them or not. I posted in a thread here earlier about a couple in their 70's who tried to walk for exercise in their neighborhood but they had to stop because kids on their street threw rocks at them.

maybe there are havens in America where elders can live in peace and be respected but it sure isn't here.
That makes me ashamed.
Click to expand...
What parts do you live in?
 
Barneyhill said:
I hate to be the contact bearer of bad news concerning my current city environment but I have to add ageism to the my list of problems this town suffers from. There is a significant population of young people here who are being raised by young moms who became a parent in their teens. Dad is most of time missing so that leaves a very young lady to try to raise these kids alone.

The way I see it little mama isn't training her children to respect older adults because she doesn't know how. Respecting older adults by not speaking out tactless statements about age. There is no one around to steer these children in the right direction.

Oh you would be surprised at the nicknames these youngsters have for seniors. I will just end this with this it's a shame. You hope kids like this when they grow up and still have attitudes like this, none of them enter into politics. Who knows one of them might propose a bill to establish concentration camps for people over 50. :unsure:
Click to expand...
Barney, you are stereotyping Parents and preaching to the choir. Many children are being raised by grandparents. You also seem a bit paranoid about the children of tomorrow. How do your children treat you?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top