Christmas Pet Anxiety

P

Patnono

Member
Location
Whittier,Ca
First Merry Christmas to everyone, I live in an apartment with my daughters and 5 year old grandson. They ask if they could get my grandson a hamster? I said No I grew up in a home that was infested with mice/Rats, so rodents give me anxiety. Well they got it anyway and gave it to him Christmas morning. So Now I’m having anxiety about it being in the house? Any suggestions on how to handle this? Thanks 🌲
 

Is this ‘your’ house?
Do they rent an apartment within your house?
The reason I wonder is that if it’s your house and they asked if they could get a pet and you said no, then they are breaking the rules . If it’s your house then your rules should be respected.

On the other hand, if the pet is in a secure cage , that should give you some sense of security .
Patnono? Do you have anxiety issues in general ?
The reason I ask is that whenever you post anything , it’s always some type of problem that you are having. It’s not a criticism. I’m just wondering if there’s some underlining issue that hasn’t been addressed yet.
 
Keesha said:
Is this ‘your’ house?
Do they rent an apartment within your house?
The reason I wonder is that if it’s your house and they asked if they could get a pet and you said no, then they are breaking the rules . If it’s your house then your rules should be respected.

On the other hand, if the pet is in a secure cage , that should give you some sense of security .
Patnono? Do you have anxiety issues in general ?
The reason I ask is that whenever you post anything , it’s always some type of problem that you are having. It’s not a criticism. I’m just wondering if there’s some underlining issue that hasn’t been addressed yet.
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Thanks for writing, I do suffer from anxiety and being treated for it. My kids know this about me. It’s my house and They pay rent but I still feel they should have respected my wishes. I keep thinking about it getting lose? It’s becoming a issue because he’s so excited about it (for now) that he wants to be taking it out of its cage. He’s never had a pet before? He already seems that the Honeymoon is over give All the toys he got. You can’t play with it? My kids attitude is that it’s too late? I think they should talk to my grandson I don’t think he’ll miss it?
 

Patnono said:
Thanks for writing, I do suffer from anxiety and being treated for it. My kids know this about me. It’s my house and They pay rent but I still feel they should have respected my wishes. I keep thinking about it getting lose? It’s becoming a issue because he’s so excited about it (for now) that he wants to be taking it out of its cage. He’s never had a pet before? He already seems that the Honeymoon is over give All the toys he got. You can’t play with it? My kids attitude is that it’s too late? I think they should talk to my grandson I don’t think he’ll miss it?
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I think you need to talk to your child and make sure you are on the same page about the house rules because you’ve already jumped into a solution of just getting rid of it, since the child won’t notice.😳

I think honestly is best here. If it’s not this issue, it will be another.
 
Keesha said:
I think you need to talk to your child and make sure you are on the same page about the house rules because you’ve already jumped into a solution of just getting rid of it, the child won’t notice.
I think honestly is best here. If it’s not this issue, it will be another.
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I have already tried to come up with a solution they wouldn’t go for. The fact that they just did what they wanted not caring about my feelings has me feeling a certain way? My daughter should understand how I feel since she has fear of spiders and screams when she sees one? I know it’s not the SAME, but the feeling of anxiety is the SAME.
 
Patnono said:
I have already tried to come up with a solution they wouldn’t go for. The fact that they just did what they wanted not caring about my feelings has me feeling a certain way? My daughter should understand how I feel since she has fear of spiders and screams when she sees one? I know it’s not the SAME, but the feeling of anxiety is the SAME.
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In my opinion, I think THIS ^^^^ needs to be discussed more than the pet they bought. The pet is possibly a product of this dysfunction.

Something else to possibly consider.
Not long ago you posted a thread asking for help in moving because the owners were selling the house you were living in and you’d been there 20 years.
Is your daughter helping you pay this rent?

If this is the case then perhaps you may need to prioritize your concerns. If she is paying rent then shouldn’t what she does in her portion of the house be her own business? Do you think that maybe you are interfering in your daughters life too much?

It seems like you need each other. Learning to respect each other’s privacy is essential in keeping good relationships.

There seems to be something missing here.
 
You need to see the pet gradually then pet it and see what a lovely and loving caring creature it is..you need to be guided . Best wishes.♥️
 
Pat shares an apartment with her daughter and grandchild, as per the first sentence in this thread. It appears that both Pat and daughter pay rent.

I agree it was disrespectful to your needs for your daughter to get her son a creature that you specifically said would cause you unease. (You said "they" got it for him. Who is the other person involved?)

As it stands, the hamster is now sharing your living quarters so it might be time to develop a relationship with it. Ruthanne offers very sound advice. You may find yourself enjoying this little critter - perhaps you can even make some lemonade out of these lemons!
 
How long do hamsters live? On average, a hamster will live for around 2 to 2.5 years. However, the life span varies depending on the type of hamster and ranges from 1.5 to 3.5 years.
When I was a kid, a neighbor kid got two hamsters. There were lots of hamster babies, so all the kids in the neighborhood got free hamsters, us included. We had two. One day one hamster murdered the other one. The remaining hamster died of natural causes. With their short lifespans, we didn't want anymore of them.
If the hamster gets "lost" in your apartment, maybe you could cat sit for a friend. End of problem.
 
Work to resolve the rules issue with your daughter but in the meantime, don't think of it as a mouse, rodent or rat. Think of it as a cute, cuddly pet.

And maybe suggest to your daughter that you're thinking of getting a pet too, maybe a tarantula. They make great pets I've been told.
 
I think what your daughter did was terrible. I also am not a fan of any rodents whatsoever. As I understand it, it is YOUR place and the rental agreement is in your name, and she just lives there and pays you rent? You need to nip this is the bud pronto! I will not comment on some of the advice you've been given here only because I don't want to get on here and argue with anyone.
 
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