Judge admonished me to not use the term “young lady”.

I

Islandgypsy

New Member
I’m 73. Was questioning an insurance employee who appeared by “telephone witnessing”. I assumed she was young but judge told me to never use that derogatory term in his court room.????
 

For some reason,the term "young lady" sounds kind of condescending to me. And you never know anyway-up until a couple of years ago,when we gave up our landline,I would frequently get calls asking if my mother was there. Not just from telemarketers,even from friends-even though they knew my kids don`t live here anymore lol.
 
Derogatory? Horse feathers!
It is close to be a complimentary form of address.
('Young lady, I'm an old fart, how about explaining this form to me?"
Also, young man, or young fella.

I've been called 'Young Man,' often, I certainly don't think of it as a derogatory statement.)

Bet'cha the judge is a young fella, lot's of space in his brain for knowledge and wisdom.
 
Gardenlover said:
I guess it's akin to being call old man or old woman and depends on the tone and nonverbal aspects in which it's delivered.
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That's on the opposite end, and still insulting or more so. Unless you're describing for the cops or a story, there's no need to say it.

On the other hand, I knew this guy who called old women ''young lady'', some smiled with pleasure, most of them acted uncomfortable and gave him the side-eye. He sounded so hypocritical and condescending, but in his mind he was being charming.
 
Some people may interpret "Young Lady" as a mother scolding her teen-age daughter for staying out too late or something.
 
I resent being asked if I mind being called by my Forename. I say no please use my Mrs xxxxx and they do of course. Maybe I'm old fashioned
 
True story, just happened. I was strolling home from the corner pub after having a pint or two. A young gentleman approached from the opposite direction walking his dog, as we crossed paths he said, "Good evening sir." I looked around for my father, but he was no where to be seen. We spoke for a few minutes about his dog. When we parted company he said, "Have a great evening sir."

Very polite, but it still gave me the impression that he thought "I" was an old geezer. How could that be? :unsure:
 
Catlady said:
I never call anyone young lady or young man or call someone ''son'' (he's not my son).
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Yeah, and I hate it when people call me "Mama." I ain't your mama! I find it particularly offensive when it's a woman in her fifties. I find it least offensive when it's a young, cute, Hispanic (etc.) male. It's a cultural thing, and they say it with affection. Glad to be their mama, glad.
 
Gardenlover said:
True story, just happened. I was strolling home from the corner pub after having a pint or two. A young gentleman approached from the opposite direction walking his dog, as we crossed paths he said, "Good evening sir." I looked around for my father, but he was no where to be seen. We spoke for a few minutes about his dog. When we parted company he said, "Have a great evening sir."

Very polite, but it still gave me the impression that he thought "I" was an old geezer. How could that be? :unsure:
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I don't agree. You said he was young and ''very polite'' and you're 60, he was respecting you as an older man. Remember, "Sir'' is the way superiors are called in the armed forces and what staff calls their patrons, or how some fathers expect to be called, especially in the old days.
 
CrackerJack said:
I resent being asked if I mind being called by my Forename. I say no please use my Mrs xxxxx and they do of course. Maybe im old fashioned
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I look at it another way. I am a ''mild feminist'', though, you may be traditional. I think that it's bad enough that women are required to assume the name of heir husband and give up their maiden name (most do it, some don't anymore), but it's even worse to give up their individuality by being known as Mrs John Smith instead of Mrs Joan Smith (not as bad). I would rather be called Joan Smith, and use the Mrs only when necessary for some reason.
 
Catlady said:
I don't agree. You said he was young and ''very polite'' and you're 60, he was respecting you as an older man. Remember, "Sir'' is the way superiors are called in the armed forces and what staff calls their patrons, or how some fathers expect to be called, especially in the old days.
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In that case, I should have told him to drop and give me twenty. 😜
 
Pepper said:
Yeah, and I hate it when people call me "Mama." I ain't your mama! I find it particularly offensive when it's a woman in her fifties. I find it least offensive when it's a young, cute, Hispanic (etc.) male. It's a cultural thing, and they say it with affection. Glad to be their mama, glad.
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LOL, that reminds me. In Venezuela, my mother and older sister were walking, my sister was about 13 or so and very pretty. She reminded me of a young Sophia Loren (where's @Gary O' ?). Anyway, the Hispanics like the younger girls. A group of young guys saw my sister and one of them fell on his knees in front of my mother and in a praying stance said to her, "Bendicion, mamacita!" (Bless me, mommy). My mother, who was quite a prude, couldn't help laughing.
 
Gardenlover said:
True story, just happened. I was strolling home from the corner pub after having a pint or two. A young gentleman approached from the opposite direction walking his dog, as we crossed paths he said, "Good evening sir." I looked around for my father, but he was no where to be seen. We spoke for a few minutes about his dog. When we parted company he said, "Have a great evening sir."

Very polite, but it still gave me the impression that he thought "I" was an old geezer. How could that be? :unsure:
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When I turned 30 (37 years ago), I thought, Wow....I could be somebody's father!
 
Gardenlover said:
In that case, I should have told him to drop and give me twenty. 😜
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That young guy probably was or is in the military. Or maybe he was brought up to respect his elders.

I'm old and when I need to approach a man I don't know to ask a question or something I always address him as ''Sir'', I can't say "Hey, you". Now you got me worried that maybe they felt offended by my salutation. Say it ain't so!
 
Catlady said:
That young guy probably was or is in the military. Or maybe he was brought up to respect his elders.

I'm old and when I need to approach a man I don't know to ask a question or something I always address him as ''Sir'', I can't say "Hey, you". Now you got me worried that maybe they felt offended by my salutation. Say it ain't so!
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It ain't so.
 
Pepper said:
Yeah, and I hate it when people call me "Mama." I ain't your mama! I find it particularly offensive when it's a woman in her fifties. I find it least offensive when it's a young, cute, Hispanic (etc.) male. It's a cultural thing, and they say it with affection. Glad to be their mama, glad.
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I don't care how cultural it is or whose culture it is or whether or not it is said with affection -- it is offensive and patronizing.
 

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