Feeling unusually sad this evening

Marie5656

Marie5656

Well-known Member
Location
Batavia, NY
As I have reported here, over the past few months, I have been doing well since Rick died. But this evening has been a bad one. I have been feeling rather down in the dumps. Not really sure why, as I am doing stuff to move on.
I think it may be the winter time blues kicking in. Past few days been very cold (seasonable temps, but cold and snowy). Getting dark early. And with the weather, I cannot just pick up and go for a ride, or do something.
I am wondering if I am feeling symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? Or what? This forum has been a good support to me, and I do not mean to whine. Just feeling out of sorts. I am going to my doctor tomorrow, and my therapist next week. So, I guess I have a lot to talk about.
 

A good friend who is a therapist told me after his mid 20s younger brother died suddenly that his grief was like the sea. Huge storm at first that he felt would drown him, followed by calmer seas with random big waves that knocked his feet out from under him all over again.

(((Marie))) Wish I could take you out for a coffee and give you a hug for real!
 
I deal with sadness that comes and goes, too. I do think I have Seasonal Affective, too. When the skies are gray for days I feel down..I do things to try to pick myself up much of the time and then some days I just let myself have a down day. It's really okay to talk about it and I wouldn't call it whining. Music and comedy helps a lot for me. I also have to push myself to do the things I need to do like cook and clean. Sometimes I even have to give myself a good hard kick! :LOL: 🌺 💜
 
AnnieA said:
A good friend who is a therapist told me after his mid 20s younger brother died suddenly that his grief was like the sea. Huge storm at first that he felt would drown him, followed by calmer seas with random big waves that knocked his feet out from under him all over again.

(((Marie))) Wish I could take you out for a coffee and give you a hug for real!
Click to expand...
That's what is needed a real good hug. Human contact
The lack of it is the cause that can make grief hang around too long. I looked up and said to myself, wow, it's been two years...no, almost four years, since my daughter at 33 passed away in a horrendous way that involved my estranged daughters I never seen til then a weird strange movie like nightmare.....so yes a human hug is a well of kindness what cures the painful memories from taken over your life.
Just like watching Netflix, there should be a wellness order to see through as a simple HUGS for invisible people.
Love what you said...
 
Marie5656 said:
As I have reported here, over the past few months, I have been doing well since Rick died. But this evening has been a bad one. I have been feeling rather down in the dumps. Not really sure why, as I am doing stuff to move on.
I think it may be the winter time blues kicking in. Past few days been very cold (seasonable temps, but cold and snowy). Getting dark early. And with the weather, I cannot just pick up and go for a ride, or do something.
I am wondering if I am feeling symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? Or what? This forum has been a good support to me, and I do not mean to whine. Just feeling out of sorts. I am going to my doctor tomorrow, and my therapist next week. So, I guess I have a lot to talk about.
Click to expand...
YES !!! My guess IS that it’s S.A.D. also. It affects me this time of year really something awesome.
I suggest getting a special light Maria.
They CAN make a huge difference
https://www.amazon.ca/s?k=aun+lamp&ref=is_s
 
I agree with others that an occasional slump is normal and usually doesn't last for very long.

If it starts to become a longer-term problem then try to find something bigger to become involved in.

A service project of some type has a way of taking the focus off of our own feelings and helps to put our own problems into perspective.

Hope you feel better Marie!
 
"This too shall pass"
bear-kissing-clipart-7.gif
 
(((Marie)))...sometimes like in your situation with losing Rick , and after coping so well with a loss it takes a little time for the reality of it all to kick in, and then suddenly after what seems like you've been doing well, the shock sets in, and you suddenly feel very down and depressed. It's perfectly normal, and feels horrible, but it's important that you know it's normal, and you need to let yourself heal from what was after all, the biggest shock of your life.

Cerainly SAD could be playing a part as well or instead, or it may be a little bit of both. It's only been 9 months, you've kept yourself so busy and maybe not had time to properly grieve, so don't be hard on yourself chikadee it';s good for the mind to grieve, .. just keep in touch with all your family and friends and us, and hopefully this big slump will get better soon... 🥰
 
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Marie you are grieving and this is the key why you feel as you do. For many the grieving process varies and its a very hard road when we love our dearest ones and a spouse and life partner who passes away however it happens is devasting.

Ive been widowed for five years and it feels like yesterday and my feelings can drown me is sadness and sorrow. I am very slowly adjusting to being alone and looking back dont know ive gotten to where I am now but I have.

Ihave a book that I bought four years ago by a retired grief counsellor Susan Wallbank title The Empty Bed..Bereivement And Loss Of Love: an excellent book content wise that helped me greatly after my Husband died in 2015. Istill lick it up from time to time and the chapters comfort me at times I feel needy and hurting. I hasten to add that the title may be hard-hitting for some but the contents are wide and well covered.

Publishers of my book are Dartman Longman &Todd and I bought mine from Amazon. ISBN 978-0-232-52639-4

Take care Marie
 
AnnieA said:
A good friend who is a therapist told me after his mid 20s younger brother died suddenly that his grief was like the sea. Huge storm at first that he felt would drown him, followed by calmer seas with random big waves that knocked his feet out from under him all over again.

(((Marie))) Wish I could take you out for a coffee and give you a hug for real!
Click to expand...

Annie this is very accurate indeed what your friend told you. Good you have a friend who is a therapist
 
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@CrackerJack I will look for that book. Thanks. There is another book I read, called The Year of Magical Thinking. Author name escapes me, but will post it when back from doctor. The author documents the first year after loss of her husband.

Everyone else, thanks for kind words. The morning sun has me feeling better. I am off to the doctor now.
 
So, I went to the doctor this morning, and discussed my issues. We talked about me getting a light box for my SAD, and she felt it was a good idea. She reminded me to keep myself active, as well as cherishing my alone time.
@CrackerJack this is more info on the book I mentioned earlier The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. Took me a while to become emotionally ready to read it, but it was good.
@Pepper we are all here to help each other. In fact, the book I mentioned was recommended to me by someone on this forum.
 

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