Waiters! Dude, I’m not your BFF, just take my order.

Floridatennisplayer

Floridatennisplayer

Member
Location
Ohio and SW Florida
Am I a bad person? My gosh, it seems like so many waiters now are so overboard and overly chatty. I know you want a nice tip, we get it.

Here was the conversation yesterday: Hey guys, “I’m Chad, so where are you two off to today? Any plans this weekend?” How about the Super Bowl coming up! Who you rooting for?”

I unthinking reacted with, “Dude, not to be rude but I don’t know you, why would you care what I have planned for the weekend? And why would I want to tell my plans to you?” “But we are hungry and would love to give you our order.“. I tip very well, but I really only expect you to check on us a few times to see if we need refills or something and bring the bill. You can do the best friends with someone else. I have to many friends as it is.”

He stopped in his tracks, looked confused, then smiled and said, “ I put it on too thick huh?” I laughed and said, “yeah, it didn’t make me like you and want to tip you more, it made me want to punch you in the face.” He cracked up, “No problem sir.”

Sorry, but come on. I just want to order and eat. Don’t be all fake to me.

I don’t mind short pleasantries, enough with the personal interrogations.
 

Floridatennisplayer said:
My gosh, it seems like so many waiters now are so overboard and overly chatty. I know you want a nice tip, we get it.

I don’t mind short pleasantries, enough with the personal interrogations.
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I think some of it is the training they get in customer service. Somehow, being very “chirpy“ and repeatedly saying ‘Perfect!’ And ‘Super’ as you answer questions is supposed to be good PR. A little is ok but over-the-top *is* irritating for sure.
 
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Florida tennis player.... I rather have a chatty server in a restaurant.....I just go with the flow when the waiter's get chatty....
I'll even start with conversation...(Sometimes my husband tells me I go over board with people I don't even know)….It's just Me.....
Cool it!!!!!!
 
I waited tables to put myself through school.
Everyone’s got their own unique style of handling customers but I think they are all just trying to do the best they can and I think your waiter handled your criticism well.

Not a bad person at all. You just didn’t want all the small talk and expressed that.

I hope you had a wonderful evening.
 
Floridatennisplayer said:
Am I a bad person? My gosh, it seems like so many waiters now are so overboard and overly chatty. I know you want a nice tip, we get it.

Here was the conversation yesterday: Hey guys, “I’m Chad, so where are you two off to today? Any plans this weekend?” How about the Super Bowl coming up! Who you rooting for?”

I unthinking reacted with, “Dude, not to be rude but I don’t know you, why would you care what I have planned for the weekend? And why would I want to tell my plans to you?” “But we are hungry and would love to give you our order.“. I tip very well, but I really only expect you to check on us a few times to see if we need refills or something and bring the bill. You can do the best friends with someone else. I have to many friends as it is.”

He stopped in his tracks, looked confused, then smiled and said, “ I put it on too thick huh?” I laughed and said, “yeah, it didn’t make me like you and want to tip you more, it made me want to punch you in the face.” He cracked up, “No problem sir.”

Sorry, but come on. I just want to order and eat. Don’t be all fake to me.

I don’t mind short pleasantries, enough with the personal interrogations.
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I would find a very chatty waiter rather irritating too.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I have similar feelings when I climb into the chair at Supercuts, the black cape of truth draws tightly around my neck and the interrogation begins.

I try to make a game of it and offer up as little information as possible.
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I long since gave up going to the hairdresser, I run the clippers over my hair and that of my husband once a week.
 
Somewhere in between the polar extremes of gushy and surly is where I like to find my service people acting. I like a little human warmth and common courtesy, but don't want to be called "Honey" or questioned about my plans for the day... :)image.jpeg
 
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pleinmont said:
I would find a very chatty waiter rather irritating too.
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that's because we're not generally used to it. The waiting staff here get paid a living wage and don't have to rely on tips to survive, nor do they have to turn tables... although clearly on the whole they'd prefer some tips so they usually make the politest but shortest conversation they can get away with.. ( some none at all in fact some extremely surly)

As a teen I also waited tables in a restaurant on a Scottish holiday Island which was/is very popular with American tourists, and they were by far the chattiest of all my customers. They would instigate the conversation, and were.. by and large my nicest and happiest customers...
 
hollydolly said:
do you have a crew cut ? :unsure:
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Not quite, I can't bear long hair, my mother insisted on it when I was a child. I have fine hair and it was torture having the brush and comb put through the tangles every day. I was walloped with the back of the hair brush when I complained, mind you, I got my own back in the end.:D When I was about 8 I rubbed my head against a girl who always had head lice and was soon crawling with them too. The whole family got them and I had two whole days off school whilst the headlice cream did its work. As soon as I was free of them I was taken down to the hairdresser and my hair was cut much, much shorter.
 
hollydolly said:
that's because we're not generally used to it. The waiting staff here get paid a living wage and don't have to rely on tips to survive, nor do they have to turn tables... although clearly on the whole they'd prefer some tips so they usually make the politest but shortest conversation they can get away with.. ( some none at all in fact some extremely surly)

As a teen I also waited tables in a restaurant on a Scottish holiday Island which was/is very popular with American tourists, and they were by far the chattiest of all my customers. They would instigate the conversation, and were.. by and large my nicest and happiest customers...
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Waiting staff getting paid proper wages would make a huge difference to how the waiter approached the customers. Here wait staff are paid minimum wage plus tips so it’s up to the server to create an appropriate interaction with their customers.

Oddly enough I did quite well in this department even with my social anxiety. In fact, I probably made my best money waitressing. I worked at the fanciest restaurants in the area I lived which was very posh. How much my customers wanted to talk I left for them to decide. Less talking made my job so much easier so I was happy to serve customers who knew what they wanted and didn’t want to chat. Sitting down chatting with customers was not allowed and considered very intrusive which it is. Nobody should be voluntarily dining with their paying customers. That’s classless in my opinion.

From FTP’s response, his waiter understood he’d pushed the envelope a bit too far and was busted. ☺️
 
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Wow. I would never confront a waiter who asked me what I was doing today and I do realize they are just trying to be friendly and a little more personal. I would never base their conversation as a way for a nice tip. Tip is for service and that is my basis for it. I think your waiter handled your response effectively.
 
dont think our waiters are that chatty in the UK.. but when you hear all the spilge as we say--its toe curling to say the least lol
it's what their told to do -but it can get OTT....
 
Gary O' said:
Our waitress actually sat down at our table and started up a conversation.....

We go out to eat, to go out to eat...and enjoy each other's conversation.

Servers should serve....and be very good at it

It's not a meet and greet
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Same thing has happened to us several times.

Another thing that doesn't endear me to waitstaff, is when they quickly walk past the table and ask, "How's everything... Great!" and are past your table before you answer. Although, it could be a hectic job, when it's busy.

We remember the phenomenal waitstaff and even ask to be seated in their area.
 
Gardenlover said:
Another thing that doesn't endear me to waitstaff, is when they quickly walk past the table and ask, "How's everything... Great!" and are past your table before you answer.
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Or never make eye contact, or acknowledge a waving hand
Or chitchat with other customers or fellow servers while your coffee cup remains empty.....
 
I do admire this waiters go getting attitude and I believe it’s good to encourage someone who has a strong work ethic. 👍
 
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