Question for those of you married a long time

Ronni

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
I'm soon going to be embarking on a new marriage as you all know. Never expected to be here again! Never wanted to, till I met Ron.

I know there are many of you here who've been married for many many years, whether or not your spouse is still living. So I thought I'd ask you all for your experience and wisdom. To what do you attribute the longevity of your marriage? What tips or advice do you have to maximize the chances of maintaining a successful relationship?
 

Good Answer, Pecos!! We always talk, it's only us alone...Kids have their kids and their own homes.....
It's so nice, we don't have to work anymore....We are married almost 55 years.....We were married at an early age...
I don't have any tips, only we love each other from 17 years old....We are in a good place....
 
Ronni said:
I'm soon going to be embarking on a new marriage as you all know. Never expected to be here again! Never wanted to, till I met Ron.

I know there are many of you here who've been married for many many years, whether or not your spouse is still living. So I thought I'd ask you all for your experience and wisdom. To what do you attribute the longevity of your marriage? What tips or advice do you have to maximize the chances of maintaining a successful relationship?
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We've been married for over 43 years, and lived together for a couple of years before that. I think our marriage lasted for so long because we thought of each other as best friends, not only husband and wife. We both respect each other, so even if we had petty arguments over the years, we were never abusive or insulting during those times.

We have a lot in common, both love nature, both are basically kind to people and animals and both enjoy our privacy and a quiet existence. We have the same tastes in music, things are mellow and relaxed in our relationship.

In my mind, I figure that none of us were born here on this earth to please any other person. If we find a good soulmate, then we should cherish them and make the relationship work. All marriages take work, some just compromise and understanding. If you're not selfish and you put your significant other above yourself in most situations.....I think it's a good plan.

Ronni, from what I've heard about you and Ron since you joined here, I honestly think that you are meant for each other and have all that is needed for a long and happy marriage. Love and best wishes to both of you. 💚
 
For me personally being in a second marriage ( 33 years ) for both it takes allot patients because in my case we had an interfering ex ( his ) who always seemed to appear at any function we attended
and of course the kids on both sides, our kids were all in their teens so with fights and squabbles
between them at the time it had crossed my mind many times that I’d made a huge mistake by marrying while we still had school aged kids at home.

The kids are now in their mid to late 40’s and the interfering ex lives in another state.


I agree @Pecos about talking we have a cuppa / chat at 10.30 each morning , most of the time we go out the back and sit on our garden swing.

My hubby always loved it if I was home when he got home from work
I’d always make him a light snack and sit for a chat before getting our evening meal ready
 
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Kadee46 said:
My hubby always loved it if I was home when he got home from work
I’d always make him a light snack and sit for a chat before getting our evening meal ready
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That is HUGE
Been that way for us since day one, over 50 years ago

Mornings and evenings are like that for us
Even driving around town promotes conversation
My lady and I are more than friends
We are soulmates
More so since retirement

Once we jump into the sack, we review the day, and talk about tomorrow
Then spoon 'til we drift off


I think I spoil her some

But....I......am rotten spoiled

We are almost total opposites
I have a hot temper, but heal easy
She gets quiet when upset
And used to nurse that for decades
I never let her go to bed angry or hurt


Oh, and she gets really mad when I make her laugh while angry

It's a grand adventure
 
I have been married for 35 years. We have had our share of challenges. TIPS: Communication is golden, learn to let go of what's not worth arguing over, give each other space when needed, learn to agree to disagree, Keep each other smiling and most importantly - Keep THE LOVE ALIVE!!!
 
My marriage only lasted 4 1/2 years and I never remarried because I never found the right guy. I think for a marriage to last you have to have at least five things: Chemistry, compatibility, trust, respect, and lots of compromise.
 
We will be married 48 years. I think we all come into a marriage with our own needs. Once they are established and both sides understands the needs of the other person then hopefully a happy balance can be met. My hubby and I need a lot of alone time. Not necessarily away of the house but just pursuing things by ourselves that make us happy.
 
Understand that each will change about every 10 years in how they think & what that change means to your relationship.

Communicate what you like & don't like as time passes very key.

Kiss & hug before parting no matter the reason for parting. Going to bed is parting, going shopping without each other is parting. Never & I mean never raise your voice in a disagreement. Never bring up some petty grievance you never really let go off.

Finally remember the qualities that brought you together.


Works for me 57 years later soon to be 58 years.
 
When I married Rick, it was my first marriage. His third! Keep lines of communication open. Realize it will not be all butterflies and Rainbows.
Talk things out, do not let things simmer. Find common things to do together but also you each need "me" time.
We only had 17 years. A bit rocky sometimes but we stuck it out.
 
Not much to add. We met as teenagers and have now been married 46 years. My parents were married 54 years and were of the "Father goes out to work and mother stays at home" type. That was the case when our children were young, but as they got older, that would not have suited us. As well as family life, I think it's important for both partners to have a life of their own - I mean your own work, friends, interests, hobbies and a degree of financial independence too.
 
not sure about good advice ronni ' been married a while now 'its had more downs than up have to say'
many a time I wanted to go -as sometimes it's a blank wall' yes still here for many reasons - my advice is honesty -and talking '
dont expect it to be all rosey coz thats just mere fantacy -

but I do hope you both get along ok ' give and take !
 
Much good advice here so I'm not sure I can add anything else. For us, it has been that we are the best friends. We talk a lot & each of us respects the other. My wife doesn't feel she needs to be "empowered" like the young ladies today because she has been empowered during all of our marriage. We have traveled much, enjoy going for walks, enjoy mostly the same TV shows. I have never abused my wife (hitting &/or swearing) that some couple seem to have troubles with. We have been together but each of us has our own little space. She loves making cards & calendars while I play the guitar, sing & record music. Respect, having a soul mate & having a best friend is really what counts in the end. We were lucky.
 
If I'd still been married to my ex it would have been 44 years this summer ... but with the current one it's 19 years... .

I echo much of what's been said before.. but for me , independence is very important..own space etc...
 
First of all, be 100%.........then , give and take....ive been lucky the second time round , i knew what i was doing......I.married my best friend and soul mate....We ve always done everything together, 24/7, we have the same hobbies , likes and dislikes......I couldnt live without him ...❤️💙
 
hollydolly said:
If I'd still been married to my ex it would have been 44 years this summer ... but with the current one it's 19 years... .

I echo much of what's been said before.. but for me , independence is very important..own space etc...
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😂😂 same here holly....if i had been married to my ex ,i would of been married 46 yrs, but i would of been doing time in Holloway womens prison...🥴😱...😂😂
but been married to my lovely man , for 31yrs last friday ,Valentines day ..❤💙
we ve been together 24/7 since then ....never a minute apart ....
 

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