Your thoughts on romantic love?

First of all, I think that so many people can't distinguish between infatuation and love. It's possible to be infatuated with more than one person at a time. Or to love one person, but be infatuated with another.

My husband and I had highs and lows...wonderful moments and dreary ones...happiness, sadness...but mostly, contentment. It's not giddy, romance, but just the sure knowledge that you're where you want to be with the one you want to be with.
 

Question for SF men,

When men say they're only looking for companionship, is it safe to expect just a platonic relationship devoid of any form of intimacy? What are the reasons for not wanting sexual intimacy?

If I ever encounter one, I'll make sure to clarify. Although sex does not equate to love, it is part of the package deal in a loving relationship between two consenting adults. Even seniors engage in vanilla or non vanilla to spice up their relationship.
 
hellomimi said:
Question for SF men,

When men say they're only looking for companionship, is it safe to expect just a platonic relationship devoid of any form of intimacy? What are the reasons for not wanting sexual intimacy?

If I ever encounter one, I'll make sure to clarify. Although sex does not equate to love, it is part of the package deal in a loving relationship between two consenting adults. Even seniors engage in vanilla or non vanilla to spice up their relationship.
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One reason why a man may only be looking for companionship is that he may be dealing with a health issue like the one I have. This hormone treatment that I have to undergo for prostrate cancer has turned me into a "completely harmless male" (at least for the next ten months). I am not happy about it, but that is my reality.
 

Isn't there a saying, if there's a will, there's a way? I understand if the desire is extinguished (due to medical issues) and it's important for men to tell their potential partner BUT if the fire's still there, there's "aids" to crank the heat. There are women, especially seniors, who are agreeable to platonic, committed relationships; but they're not the majority.
 
hellomimi said:
Question for SF men,

When men say they're only looking for companionship, is it safe to expect just a platonic relationship devoid of any form of intimacy? What are the reasons for not wanting sexual intimacy?

If I ever encounter one, I'll make sure to clarify. Although sex does not equate to love, it is part of the package deal in a loving relationship between two consenting adults. Even seniors engage in vanilla or non vanilla to spice up their relationship.
Click to expand...

A small number of men have little or no sexual desire so they may prefer companionship. I think a little digging might be necessary because they might be interested in physical affection without sexual activity.

There are a reasonable number of couples who love each other very much who have little or no sexual activity. This happens for various reasons. Sometimes both people are fine with the situation and other times one, the other or both aren't pleased with the lack of sexual activity.
 
My wife and I agree that our favorite Love Birds of all time were Frank and Olive Medlock. We did not meet them until they were in their early 90's. Frank enlisted in the Navy in 1928 and retired as a Mustang (ex-enlisted) LT Commander in 1958. He met Olive in NYC when he was stationed there in 1930 and courted her until she decided to give the "poor boy a break and marry him."

Frank was a Battleship Sailor during WWII and had the hearing loss you would expect after being exposed to 16 inch guns.

We took Frank and Olive with us to a formal Navy Day Ball in 2004 when they were in their middle 90's. One of the most lovely things I have ever seen was looking into my rear view mirror and seeing the two of them cuddle in the back seat. She called him "sugar" and he called her "lover." My wife came close to tears.

Frank had found his Dress Blues and with a bit of tailoring wore them that night. He looked spectacular for a 95 year old man.

I introduced him to the Command Skipper who took advantage of the unique opportunity to have a WWII Vet get up and speak at his Ball. Without any preparation or warning, Frank delivered a spellbinding talk about Navy life in the 1930's and WWII. He related many details about the last battle to ever took place between Battleships and how the Americans caught the Japanese coming through the narrow Straits in the South Pacific Islands and executed a Classic T Formation (from sailing ship warfare) which gave us a major gunfire advantage in the battle. The Japanese Fleet was badly damaged and limped home as best they could.

While Frank was speaking, Olive leaned over to me and whispered "Isn't he magnificent?", and he was!

Olive died a couple of years later and Frank moved into a Senior Living complex where he had to fight off the ladies. He
was close to 100 when he died, and he looked magnificent in his Dress Blues.

They were married for over 73 years and were such a loving couple.
 
hellomimi said:
I have read in forums that if one decides he/she is no longer interested in sex, it's unfair to the other who desires it. This results in DB (dead bedroom) and likely, reason for divorce.
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I think each person in a couple needs to choose what they want in their life. If something such as sex is something one person considers to be part of the relationship agreement I wouldn't fault them for moving towards a divorce if their partner is unwilling to work towards resolving the issue or simply doesn't want to solve it.
 
I have loved several guys at the same time, but not been involved with them at the same time. With one guy the relationship ended of necessity, but what I felt for him lived on, tucked into the corner of my heart. Another guy I loved died suddenly. That love remained, tucked into another corner. I very much love my third husband. So I love all three of them, but I would never be involved with three at once. (Both of my first two husbands turned into jerks. They killed the love I had for them.)

My grand aunt worked as a nurses aid in a nursing home. She said that on the nights they had hot dogs, she would find the hot dogs in the women's beds. Grin. This aunt was born in 1903.
 
Your thoughts on romantic love?



Gaer said:
Isn't it odd that LOVE, bittersweet and irrrepressible, experienced in full being, is a yearning of one human body for another particular one and has a complete indifference for any substitutes?
I wonder why?
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Some of the posts may have missed the intent........or didn't pick up on what I'd call the operative word

Romantic

I've been accused of being a romantic
Don't know enough to argue whether I am or not

But

Romance
Couple that with love?

Whoa

It tears me up
I cannot function
Can't work
Can't play
......I'm eaten alive


The synonyms say it all;

Mystery
Allure
Fascination
Amour
Passion

Gaer said:
And, do you think it's possible for one to love two or more persons at the same time, with the same depth?
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No way in hell

We celebrated our 51st anniversary last May

But I remember

Like yesterday
 
Gary O' said:
Your thoughts on romantic love?





Some of the posts may have missed the intent........or didn't pick up on what I'd call the operative word

Romantic

I've been accused of being a romantic
Don't know enough to argue whether I am or not

But

Romance
Couple that with love?

Whoa

It tears me up
I cannot function
Can't work
Can't play
......I'm eaten alive


The synonyms say it all;

Mystery
Allure
Fascination
Amour
Passion



No way in hell

We celebrated our 51st anniversary last May

But I remember

Like yesterday
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Wow! Gary O. Your words are incredible!!! You are SO LUCKY! The luck o the Irish?
 
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Is it better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all?

I lost. It was definitely worth it. Life's most important experience, IMO. And from it I have my nachas, my rewards: my son and his son.

"When my life is through
and the Angels ask me to recall
The thrill of them all
I will tell them I remember YOU."

 
Pepper said:
Is it better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all?

I lost. It was definitely worth it. Life's most important experience, IMO. And from it I have my nachas, my rewards: my son and his son.

"When my life is through
and the Angels ask me to recall
The thrill of them all
I will tell them I remember YOU."

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I have to ask myself the same question you do, and sometimes it gets close to my saying "it was not worth it", and I'd certainly have to admit, if you were given your life over again, knowing how things turned out, there is no way I'd have followed the same path. :censored: !
 
grahamg said:
I have to ask myself the same question you do, and sometimes it gets close to my saying "it was not worth it", and I'd certainly have to admit, if you were given your life over again, knowing how things turned out, there is no way I'd have followed the same path. :censored: !
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Things happen the way they are because we are who we are. I ask myself often, what if, maybe I should have,etc.---but I didn't. And given the same circumstances again, with me being me, I can't see anything else..........and I wouldn't give up my son (and his son) for anything, anything, in the world..........SO all roads led to where I am right now. I may give you a different response tomorrow, but I doubt it because All Roads Led to My Son (and His).
 
Pecos said:
Wow, this thread is getting "saucy."
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My aunt was one "saucy" lady who told it like it was. I stand on her shoulders. She stood by me when I needed her. She was also gentle and loving and had been in love three times. About her first husband she said, "George wanted other women. I would have none of it." So she divorced him and was considered a sinner by the rest of the family. Her second husband died of complications from drinking too much. Her third husband was 96 when he died. She handled it with strength and dignity. I used to say when I grow up to be 85 I want to be like Aunt Lottie. She lived to be 97. She was an example of how to face whatever came and come up stronger. After she had a stroke or two she said to me, "I don't remember who you are dear, but I love you."

Romantic love can be one of the most beautiful things we as humans can experience, especially when accompanied by the depth of love for who and what the other person is. I consider myself blessed for the romantic love I've experienced, even when it caused me a lot of pain. I hold the memories in the deepest part of me, remember the rush and the seeing the world through the pristine lenses of that love. The essence of that love is still alive within me.
 

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