Why would a person keep asking what you want for a souvenir then never get it for you?

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
I have a friend that travels abroad every few years and always asks before departing what I'd like her to bring back for me as a souvenir. She's never brought back what I requested. Keeps me wondering why she even bothers to ask. Since I collect world coins, I always ask for a few coins from wherever she's going. One time she brought back a Marge Simpson figurine and another time it was a toothpick holder, then a gray knit hat. Is there some psychological thing with this behavior?

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A lot of people just don't pay attention, or don't bother to make note of things, assuming that they'll remember. I don't think she'd do it on purpose, I think it's just carelessness. On the bright side, at least she brings you something...
 
Do you have friends you treasure and overlook their flaws?

Maybe your friend (not just acquaintance?) asks that tongue-in-cheek. With those gifts she gave you, aren't you thrilled she got you something? When I'm asked the same question, I tell them I want stories where they've been to and want them back to tell me in person.

Deb, have you pondered to think what makes you happy? You seem to always focus on what's going wrong so for a change will you post about things or a person (*ahem) that makes you happy?
* I'm messing with ya. *wink
 
She probably just changes all her money back automatically and totally forgets you wanted some coins. When my son went to china, I asked him to buy me something from there. He said, mom, everything HERE is made in china. You have plenty of stuff from china. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣
 
If the friend goes to Europe, they have the Euro and they all look alike. She probable figures you'd prefer something more unique also the Marge Simpson figurine is a turn off for me too.
 
debodun said:
I have a friend that travels abroad every few years and always asks before departing what I'd like her to bring back for me as a souvenir. She's never brought back what I requested. Keeps me wondering why she even bothers to ask. Since I collect world coins, I always ask for a few coins from wherever she's going. One time she brought back a Marge Simpson figurine and another time it was a toothpick holder, then a gray knit hat. Is there some psychological thing with this behavior?

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Maybe I'm being cynical but those things look suspiciously like things she might have already had on hand and is regifting under the guise of holiday swag.
 
Aunt Bea said:
Maybe I'm being cynical but those things look suspiciously like things she might have already had on hand and is regifting under the guise of holiday swag.
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I thought that myself. Who buys a non family member a plain knit hat? The marge looks like dollar store fair, and the vase might have had flowers in it. 😂 I’m cynical as well. There is nothing wrong with re-gifting nice stuff, but come on, a grey knit hat-strange.
 
Which was why I specified Europe. Left out the mainland part, however. Also did not mention that Eastern Europe is not all in involved in the EU.
 
I have not only UK Sterling..I have Euros.. and also have some Turkish Lira which hasn't been in circulation in years.. probably got some Greek drachma somewhere as well
 
hollydolly said:
I have not only UK Sterling..I have Euros.. and also have some Turkish Lira which hasn't been in circulation in years.. probably got some Greek drachma somewhere as well
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Yeah, I've still got some Yuan layin' around
Back in Y2K, when I was there, it was worth about 1/10th of the usd
Prolly worth more now
I better check
 
debodun said:
I have a friend that travels abroad every few years and always asks before departing what I'd like her to bring back for me as a souvenir. She's never brought back what I requested. Keeps me wondering why she even bothers to ask. Since I collect world coins, I always ask for a few coins from wherever she's going. One time she brought back a Marge Simpson figurine and another time it was a toothpick holder, then a gray knit hat. Is there some psychological thing with this behavior?

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Coins are much too expensive to ask someone to bring back as a souvenir, in my opinion. Most people wouldn't ask for such a pricey gift, just a knicknack of the place they are vacationing in. It's nice that your friend offers to bring you back something.
 
Aneeda72 said:
I thought that myself. Who buys a non family member a plain knit hat? The marge looks like dollar store fair, and the vase might have had flowers in it. 😂 I’m cynical as well. There is nothing wrong with re-gifting nice stuff, but come on, a grey knit hat-strange.
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Funny, I had the opposite reaction. The plain knit hat I could have done without, but I thought the other two gifts were lovely. The Marge Simpson doll is a great gag gift, and Deb can use it the next time she is invited to one of those gag gift parties.

I really never expect a "gift" when a friend travels, and on my own travels, I don't spend a whole lot of time looking for gifts for friends. Seems like an unnecessary waste of time. But since she does ask, I'd treat the question as just a form of small talk, not to be taken seriously, with no expectations.

Is your friend a bit on the eccentric side? If so, just regard this as part of her eccentricity.
 
debodun said:
I have a friend that travels abroad every few years and always asks before departing what I'd like her to bring back for me as a souvenir. She's never brought back what I requested. Keeps me wondering why she even bothers to ask. Since I collect world coins, I always ask for a few coins from wherever she's going. One time she brought back a Marge Simpson figurine and another time it was a toothpick holder, then a gray knit hat. Is there some psychological thing with this behavior?

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debodun said:
Nice, but not what I requested.
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debodun said:
It's not as much about what she brings me or even if I can use it, but more about why she does this.
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What’s the psychological reason why she asks you what you want before she goes?

Not sure. I’d think you’d know your friend better than we do and she probably knows you better than us.

Maybe she’s checking each year hoping that your request(s) will be more reasonable each time.

Who knows. She probably wonders about a lot of things you say and do.
The human psyche is complicated. We don’t always know what makes people tick but that’s what makes life interesting.
 
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