When You Have Only A Short Time To Live

S

SifuPhil

R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
Location
Pennsylvania, USA
When you have only a short amount of time left - say, a doctor has diagnosed you with terminal cancer and you have maybe two years left, tops - what do you do?

Do you follow the path of self-pity, spending your time wallowing in despair? Or do you go out and do all the things you always wanted to do? Do you update your will? Do you start a porn website for seniors? Do you take up extreme sports?

Or is it impossible to say until it actually happens?

A bit of a morbid question, I realize, but I was just wondering ...
 

I agree with "cross that bridge when I get to it", even though I do have generalized plans thought out because of the horses.

When I was younger, I might have gone into panic mode but, I'm a lot more calm about those things, these days --- at least I think I am------------
 

Life is a continuum. 'Death' is not the end.

That being said we are here to learn (through experience) and to advance the soul, so knowing that one only had a short time left, one should make the most of it and try to render Service/leave the world a better place than you found it.

Mind you, one should be doing that anyway!
 
Can I fink about it?

funny-crying-baby-pictures-5.jpg
 
SifuPhil said:
When you have only a short amount of time left - say, a doctor has diagnosed you with terminal cancer and you have maybe two years left, tops - what do you do?

Do you follow the path of self-pity, spending your time wallowing in despair? Or do you go out and do all the things you always wanted to do? Do you update your will? Do you start a porn website for seniors? Do you take up extreme sports?

Or is it impossible to say until it actually happens?

A bit of a morbid question, I realize, but I was just wondering ...
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Should something like this happen to me, I would like to try to live out the rest of my life as long as possible. Then when I must, lay down and wait for God.
 
About ten years ago, my dear friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She went through surgery, chemotherapy and radiation treatments and emerged cancer-free. For a while. During all of it, she engaged in life as best she could and never once expressed anger or worry. Her husband has steadfastly held the position throughout his life that worrying doesn't serve a useful purpose, that it depletes energy, deflects joy and diminishes quality of life.

Over the years, my friend has done well until a year and a half ago when she was diagnosed with lung cancer. Another round of surgery, chemo and radiation only to be told that her disease isn't curable but it is treatable. She lives and has lived everyday with appreciation and peace. Again, her husband has stood solidly next to her.

And then it happened.

Six months ago, out of seemingly nowhere, her husband started experiencing abdominal discomfort which was later diagnosed as pancreatic cancer. He has faded quickly and appears to have only a short while left to live.

They are both receiving treatment for uncurable cancers while simultaneously reviewing everything to make sure their lives are in order. Their vacation home has been sold, closets full of clothes and household goods have been donated to good charities and legal documents have been finalized.

They live in quiet acceptance of what is happening, appreciative of the life they have shared together and the family and friends that have formed a supportive, loving circle around them. Each day is one more day for them to hold hands and say "I love you".
 
I'd write another book about angels, because there are so many misunderstandings about angels, and the afterlife.
I would look forward to my new adventure after this life. The two most sacred times in one's life are when we are born and the day we leave this life.
 
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I think the OP's question is one for all of us to seriously consider when deciding how to live our lives. We don't know when our lives are going to end, whether we have a doctor giving us an estimate or not. Many of us have known people who died in a car accident, were shot, drowned, or any number of ways to die. When our number is up, we are done, and we don't know when that will be. If a doctor could truly say I have two years to live, that (if taken literally) would be a guarantee for that length of time that I don't otherwise have. Something worth thinking about as we choose how to live the rest of our lives, however long that may be.

Tony
 
hollydolly said:
Not to say this topic can't be revisited, but just thought it pertinent to mention that the OP.. Situphil, has in fact passed into the afterlife himself now ...sadly too young
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Thanks for the heads up. That post was from 2012. It is a worthwhile point to consider though throughout our lives since it is a given that we all die some time. It is extra poignant that the OP, bringing up the subject has passed on.

Tony
 
Ruthanne said:
I guess you do what you are able to do. When people have a short time to live they may not be able to do a whole lot due to physical problems and then some get overwhelmed by it all and there may be some who can do more than others. It's an individual thing I believe.
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I agree, Ruth. I'm afraid I'd be so paralyzed and anxious over a terminal diagnosis that I'd be a basket case and I'd spend what time I have left huddled and crying.
 
I think you would want to do one great big thing that you always wanted to do. In my case, it would be a trip to Egypt to visit the ancient wonders. I guess you could run around and get all excited, but what will be, will be. We, all, know this is coming, so once the initial shock is over, you still have to put on your socks, and go to the bathroom. Many of us have only two years left to live, but we don't know that.
 
My BIL is in this situation: back last April, he was diagnosed with a rare, terminal cancer, was told to get his affairs in order becuz he only had about 2 months left (1 of the doctors said, "You are not going to die of or even see old age; this cancer is going to kill you"), still no tumors have shown up and no pain has started yet; he'd like to quit his job, travel etc. & enjoy the time he's got left but can't afford to. So he's living in constant dread, worrying about $$; I feel really bad for him.

He's not the only person I've known who's gotten a terminal diagnosis and I can't think of any who seemed to find a peaceful, non-painful end--I guess there are more than a few dying cancer patients for whom the pain meds do very little if anything--none went "gentle into that good night"; I think that unfortunately, a "peaceful end" is a myth.
 
I was told a couple years ago I would probably die when I was 75 due to my intestinal issues. I’m 74 now 😳. I don’t live my life any different, couldn’t even if I wanted to. But I never wanted to live into my 80’s.

We did our wills a couple years ago and I need to add a statement to change a couple things, other than that, I’m good to go. 😍
 
officerripley said:
My BIL is in this situation: back last April, he was diagnosed with a rare, terminal cancer, was told to get his affairs in order becuz he only had about 2 months left (1 of the doctors said, "You are not going to die of or even see old age; this cancer is going to kill you"), still no tumors have shown up and no pain has started yet; he'd like to quit his job, travel etc. & enjoy the time he's got left but can't afford to. So he's living in constant dread, worrying about $$; I feel really bad for him.

He's not the only person I've known who's gotten a terminal diagnosis and I can't think of any who seemed to find a peaceful, non-painful end--I guess there are more than a few dying cancer patients for whom the pain meds do very little if anything--none went "gentle into that good night"; I think that unfortunately, a "peaceful end" is a myth.
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Sorry about your BIL diagnosis. It must be really hard. How old is he?

Some do go gentle into that good night, however, so it’s not a myth. I have a brain aneurysm on my carotid artery. If it bursts, I will bleed out and die before I, or anyone, knows there is a problem. It was found a few years back after it leaked and I had a brain bleed-you get the head ache from hell with a brain bleed.
 
I would write letters to my loved ones and make sure everything is in order so hopefully my kids won't be left trying to figure anything out.
My life would go on as usual for as long as I can. I have nothing left in my bucket list.
My one big concern which I would discuss with my family would be pain management. If these pain medications shorten my life a bit, so be it.
I want to go out comfortable.
 
I always am challenged on the question of what if the doctor is wrong? If it was beyond questionable and I had two years if the two years were healthy years I would be OK with it but if the two years of disability and pain and struggle I would shorten the life expectancy as I see fit.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
I would write letters to my loved ones and make sure everything is in order so hopefully my kids won't be left trying to figure anything out.
My life would go on as usual for as long as I can. I have nothing left in my bucket list.
My one big concern which I would discuss with my family would be pain management. If these pain medications shorten my life a bit, so be it.
I want to go out comfortable.
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"I want to go out comfortable."

Me too Ruth.
 
fmdog44 said:
I always am challenged on the question of what if the doctor is wrong? If it was beyond questionable and I had two years if the two years were healthy years I would be OK with it but if the two years of disability and pain and struggle I would shorten the life expectancy as I see fit.
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That’s fine if you have been healthy most of your life, but for those of us who have dealt with disability, extreme pain, and struggle their entire lives, well, 😂, we would have had to die in childhood.
 

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