Honesty brings its own reward.....discuss!

grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
I remember one of my sister played truant from school, with three of her friends, and were discovered and summoned to see the deputy headmistress. My sister and her friends considered making up a story to try cover their tracks, or excuse their behaviour. I told her I didn't think it would work, and "honesty would be their best policy".

They followed my advice, owned up and didn't try to justify themselves to mitigate their behaviour, and the deputy head was more lenient as a result. The three friend then sent me their thanks for the advice via my sister. I believe the girls repeated the offence, and maybe got away with it, but my sister learned her lesson perhaps, (though there are questions again now she's olderm).
 

MarciKS said:
Honesty doesn't get you very far anymore. Unless you want to be hated.
Click to expand...
It looks like it can pay off sometimes, quote:

"Nick Lumb at Acorn Arborcare had an interesting tale to tell this morning. A prospective customer had consulted him last week and although there was no immediate business he was so pleased with Nick’s service that he wanted to pay for the advice. Nick refused to charge him for this saying that this was complimentary.
However an envelope containing £30 was pushed under his door today in gratitude for that advice. Nick consulted his bookkeeper Connie about whether to declare this gift for tax purposes, and those of you who know them will not be surprised to learn that they decided to put it “through the books”.
Nick has been holding back from booking his holiday in hopes of a bargain and agreed with his wife over the weekend to go ahead with the best offer that they had received. His wife Sue rang Nick just before I arrived to tell him that she had booked the holiday and that the price had dropped, you’ve guessed it, by exactly £30!"
https://www.thebestof.co.uk/local/wrexham/community-hub/blog/view/honesty-brings-its-own-reward/
 

I have to be honest. I have one of those expressive faces, where everybody knows what I'm thinking. So, it's obvious when I'm lying. That irritates the hell out of me. Since, everybody knows when I'm lying, I can't lie. If you can't lie well, being dishonest is really hard. I'm still trying, though.
 
asp3 said:
It isn't the best policy for sociopaths who are able to lie and deceive without any remorse.
I'm thankful that I feel remorse when I'm not honest.
Click to expand...

You've mentioned a scientific term, thus opening the door to a bit more science to try to shed light on the thread topic:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...n-studies-show-virtue-truly-is-its-own-reward

“There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve.”

But sometimes justice and virtue do prevail. And virtue, it turns out, can be both its own reward and the source of other positive outcomes as well. Recent research plus a variety of studies from past decades suggest that acting on higher values not only has intrinsic rewards but will benefit your health and well-being in other ways, too.

Do the Right Thing and Reap the Benefits

5. Good deeds give you “the helper’s high.”

Your good deeds instantly flood your brain with endorphins, feel-good chemicals that give you a natural high. Helping others can also help you appreciate what you have, improve your health, and put your own problems into perspective.
 
asp3 said:
It isn't the best policy for sociopaths who are able to lie and deceive without any remorse.

I'm thankful that I feel remorse when I'm not honest.
Click to expand...
We don't go out of our way to lie and deceive. It is just less trouble to lie sometimes/often than go through the rigmarole of telling the truth to people who become arrogant or unbalanced or unhinged because it's not what they want to hear.
 
A bit more science for you to consider:
https://www.quora.com/Is-being-too-honest-a-sign-of-low-intelligence

A study considers children aged between 2 and 16. The youngest children are filmed sitting in a room, where they think they are alone, with a soft toy behind them and told not to look at the toy. When the experimenter returns he asks if they have looked and is able to compare their answers to the reality as recorded on camera. Similar tests are given to the older children. The study concludes that 20% of 2-year-olds in this situation lie, 50% by 3 and 90% by 4. As a result he reasonably suggests that the ability to lie may mark an important developmental phase. The most deceitful age is 12 where lying is almost completely universal, then drops back to 70% by the age 16.

So to answer your questions:
“It is claimed children who lied often are likely to become successful”

This phrasing seems to imply that children are followed through life and those who lie most often when younger are more successful in later life. However the study does not consider any adults so cannot support this. Instead it suggests that most if not all children lie, but as they are approaching the end of their teenage years there is evidence the proportion who lie begins to drop. The study suggests that lying is simply a phase children go through.

Perhaps you could conclude that lying early makes it easier to spot it in others in later life. However there is not enough information in the study to support this.
 
Confucius said, "Courtesy, generosity, honesty, persistence, and kindness. ... If you are honest, people will rely on you. If you are persistent you will get results. If you are kind, you can employ people.” ― Confucius.
 

Attachments

  • honesty confucius.1.jpg
    honesty confucius.1.jpg
    36.7 KB · Views: 0
Judycat said:
We don't go out of our way to lie and deceive. It is just less trouble to lie sometimes/often than go through the rigmarole of telling the truth to people who become arrogant or unbalanced or unhinged because it's not what they want to hear.
Click to expand...

For sociopaths the end justifies the means. There is a neurologist who specialized in analyzing some sort of brain imaging or brain scans that had clear indications of which people are sociopaths who had his scan or imaging mixed in with others and identified himself as a sociopath. It's an interesting article or book where he explains what happened after he found out he was a sociopath.

The bottom line is that we have far more sociopaths in society than we think there are, but some are able to function well and non destructively in our society than others. I think the ration was 2 to 1 but I'm not sure of that number. I'd have to find the info I read again.

**I edited this to replace psychopaths with sociopaths because I used the wrong term.
 
Last edited:
I like what the Dalai Lama says about honesty -

“The more honest you are, the more open, the less fear you will have, because there's no anxiety about being exposed or revealed to others.”​


I think he's right...if I'm honest, I don't need to spend a lot of time remembering what I told who (bad grammar, but you get the idea...).
 
grahamg said:
It looks like it can pay off sometimes, quote:

"Nick Lumb at Acorn Arborcare had an interesting tale to tell this morning. A prospective customer had consulted him last week and although there was no immediate business he was so pleased with Nick’s service that he wanted to pay for the advice. Nick refused to charge him for this saying that this was complimentary.
However an envelope containing £30 was pushed under his door today in gratitude for that advice. Nick consulted his bookkeeper Connie about whether to declare this gift for tax purposes, and those of you who know them will not be surprised to learn that they decided to put it “through the books”.
Nick has been holding back from booking his holiday in hopes of a bargain and agreed with his wife over the weekend to go ahead with the best offer that they had received. His wife Sue rang Nick just before I arrived to tell him that she had booked the holiday and that the price had dropped, you’ve guessed it, by exactly £30!"
https://www.thebestof.co.uk/local/wrexham/community-hub/blog/view/honesty-brings-its-own-reward/
Click to expand...
This kind of thing rarely happens though.
 
Autumn said:
I like what the Dalai Lama says about honesty -

“The more honest you are, the more open, the less fear you will have, because there's no anxiety about being exposed or revealed to others.”​


I think he's right...if I'm honest, I don't need to spend a lot of time remembering what I told who (bad grammar, but you get the idea...).
Click to expand...
What if I don't care about being exposed or revealed to others? People are fickle. They love me then they hate me then they feel bad because they hate me, then they're angry because they feel bad. Sheesh. I don't care.
 
I "try" to be honest/truthful, but sometimes, that just doesn't work.

I remember one time, I applied for a stockroom position for an electronics manufacturer. Had absolutely no experience with electronic parts, but did have experience in a metal manufacturing stockroom. Anyway, I put on the application that I was an ET (Electronics Tech) in the Navy, of which I wasn't. Back then, background checks weren't done and there wasn't a way to check out what I wrote down for the Navy. No testing for electronic parts done either. I was in the Navy, but not in that rate. The company hired me and I learned, very fast, the different electronic parts.
 
So, The question is What is honesty? or What is the importance of honesty?
In my opinion:
Self worth, honesty, discipline and dignity integrate to develop the refinement of the consciousness. This is a measurement of the synchrony of the soul's mind and heart. An honest soul is treasured and trusted beyond any boundary. An honest soul emanates brightly in all worlds and all heavens. As one evo;ves in the soul, theft is no longer a part, but a quality lack from a lower mind function perhaps he once, but no longer possesses.
 
Gaer said:
So, The question is What is honesty? or What is the importance of honesty?
In my opinion:
Self worth, honesty, discipline and dignity integrate to develop the refinement of the consciousness. This is a measurement of the synchrony of the soul's mind and heart. An honest soul is treasured and trusted beyond any boundary. An honest soul emanates brightly in all worlds and all heavens. As one evo;ves in the soul, theft is no longer a part, but a quality lack from a lower mind function perhaps he once, but no longer possesses.
Click to expand...
All I can think of to say is..........what???? LOL
 
"If the little guy above doesn't get a word of praise I'm going to bombard you all with a load of boring stuff from the Psychology Today site!"

You have been warned :eek: !
 
Right, its more homework for you all..............

Who said "Honesty is the best policy?"

Benjamin Franklin, The expression honesty is the best policy is often attributed to Benjamin Franklin, an American statesman who lived in the 1700s.

Why is honesty so difficult?
"We lie to protect ourselves from the pain and repercussions we'll experience from their feelings or even our own self-judgment. ... Being honest with ourselves and others requires an ability to think and feel at the same time in order to fully integrate a difficult experience and neutralize any lasting negative energy."

This is an odd one, it says there are three things to show you're honest then lists six,(are they having a joke on us?):
three things that shows our honesty
  • Think before you speak.
  • Say what you mean and mean what you say.
  • Bend over backward to communicate in an open and honest fashion.
  • Simplify your statements so that everyone clearly understands your message.
  • Tell it like it is rather than sugarcoating it.
  • Present both sides of each issue to engender objectivity.
What are the qualities of honesty?
Honesty is a facet of moral character that connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, straightforwardness, including straightforwardness of conduct, along with the absence of lying, cheating, theft, etc. Honesty also involves being trustworthy, loyal, fair, and sincere.

Here is a contrary view on honesty in relationships:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/...01310/why-honesty-isnt-always-the-best-policy

"Whether you’re getting it off your chest, venting, expressing yourself, airing your feelings or “just being honest," the truth about honesty is that honesty is not always the best policy.

What’s more, continuing on the path of full disclosure can actually bring permanent closure to your relationships!

The reality is we don’t need knives or guns to mortally wound those closest to us. Words cut like knives and it’s easy to bury your relationship with the verbal cuts of a “truthful” tongue.

The truth is honesty is often a veiled form of self-indulgence."
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top