Living alone during the pandemic and dealing with the isolation.

I've been a hermit since 2013. I find it a lot less stressful to not have to be "on" for people anymore. I think it's because I spent most of my life taking care of someone else. When I go out to buy food, I'm actually glad to come home. I can go to bed without first cleaning up after someone else. I don't have to prepare for the next day either. Cats don't care, they get fed and are satisfied. They like my company too. Can't say that was always the case with the people in my life. Just glad I don't have to do for anyone anymore. It's liberating. I respect others who enjoy that sort of thing, but I don't miss it one bit.
I'm another hermit and hope that I can remain one until I'm not here anymore. I'm very content as I am.
 

I enjoyed being a hermit until I discovered that living all alone without anyone to help is not a pretty picture especially when you can't drive and have to wait 5 days to get your much needed medicine delivered by snail mail, because your town has no pharmacy, among other things like having to risk your life taking public transportation during this pandemic once a week, and walking and carrying and pushing groceries for blocks to and from the bus, with heart or lung trouble, because you don't have a car, and not enough money to have food delivered all the time, and no one is around to help you get your food. I could be dead for over a year and no one would know it, because I enjoyed being a hermit.
 
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I enjoyed being a hermit until I discovered that living all alone without anyone to help is not a pretty picture especially when you can't drive and have to wait 5 days to get your much needed medicine delivered by snail mail, because your town has no pharmacy, among other things like having to risk your life taking public transportation during this pandemic once a week, and walking and carrying and pushing groceries for blocks to and from the bus, with heart or lung trouble, because you don't have a car, and not enough money to have food delivered all the time, and no one is around to help you get your food. I could be dead for over a year and no one would know it, because I enjoyed being a hermit.
I'll live like a hermit until I can't anymore. Geez. I swear you must be channeling my mother.
 

I don't think we are "odd" or "antisocial" or unfriendly for not wanting to do the video thing. Most of us are older, some of us are frail and vulnerable, and simply don't want to splash ourselves all over the internet. We're not antisocial, we are just careful.

And some of don't have the ability or equipment to share video even if we wanted to.
I agree yet this is what this is .."splashing yourself all over the internet?"bieng harvested by google facebook others 26 fedreal agencies numerous telecom folks china russia and on and on and on...not to mention your local college kids this is forever while some chance of video getting buried ..but certainly not any worse than this ..it goes to your isp home name driver license credit ..probably banking too--the point is there is not much privacy and what there is you have to work really hard to attain some of it. but it is to late they had all our info for years.
 
I’m at a total loss in dealing with the pandemic. I retired and moved to a new home in a new town right before the pandemic and intended to join a church and club near my home in order to meet new senior friends and find at least one person I could exchange emergency help with, like feeding a dog or cat during a hospitalization. Now both the church and club are closed down and I am alone in a house where no one checks on me daily. This isn’t a good situation. I’m not depressed and I stay busy at my house and I go out for groceries. But mentally I know it’s not a good situation.
 
I’m at a total loss in dealing with the pandemic. I retired and moved to a new home in a new town right before the pandemic and intended to join a church and club near my home in order to meet new senior friends and find at least one person I could exchange emergency help with, like feeding a dog or cat during a hospitalization. Now both the church and club are closed down and I am alone in a house where no one checks on me daily. This isn’t a good situation. I’m not depressed and I stay busy at my house and I go out for groceries. But mentally I know it’s not a good situation.
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Welcome to the forum, Tabby Ann.... Life has a way of throwing us curve balls, doesn't it? But there's lots of folks from different states/countries to share with here so jump right in! I'm in GA, btw.
 
I’m at a total loss in dealing with the pandemic. I retired and moved to a new home in a new town right before the pandemic and intended to join a church and club near my home in order to meet new senior friends and find at least one person I could exchange emergency help with, like feeding a dog or cat during a hospitalization. Now both the church and club are closed down and I am alone in a house where no one checks on me daily. This isn’t a good situation. I’m not depressed and I stay busy at my house and I go out for groceries. But mentally I know it’s not a good situation.
Similar with us. We moved here in February and did not realize the great toilet paper rush was in progress. With one roll of toilet paper left, I went to buy some, and there was none. It was horrible. I have been permanently scarred. Plus the first day we moved in our new neighbors called the police on us. It was a great start-not.

But I do have a husband and my son lives a few miles away. Contact the department of aging in your area. They can probably set you up with a volunteer group in your area who provide help to seniors. I’m glad you have avoided getting depressed. Most of us some level of depression, on and off. But, on the bright side, I have a lot of toilet paper now. 🙄🤣

Welcome to the forum
 
@Tabby Ann
Welcome to our group, Tabby!
At least this is a good place to start, and to have some connections and interactions with others!

I also wonder if you might call or contact either that church or club, or another local place that gears itself around seniors or some common interest with you,
and ask them if someone or some family, or a few of them, might enjoy connecting with you, regularly, to explore a possible friendship, or simply to check in with you, at least every other day.
Even just short phone calls, frequently, would be nice.
It's possible that someone else would appreciate it , too.

Meanwhile, there's us. :)
 
Tabby, I've got a good friend..."Dr. Carl"...that lives in Evansville, Indiana, if you are anywhere close to
that area. Be happy to put you in contact with him, he's married to a Thailand gal and they have lots of extended family and friends in the area. He has practiced there for many many years.

Just have patience, I'd say "keep busy" maybe find some new hobbies and wait this out like so many of us are doing. Just got 3 new books in, so we're ready for winter fires and hot cocoa. All things come to those who wait, and wait...lol.
 
I’m at a total loss in dealing with the pandemic. I retired and moved to a new home in a new town right before the pandemic and intended to join a church and club near my home in order to meet new senior friends and find at least one person I could exchange emergency help with, like feeding a dog or cat during a hospitalization. Now both the church and club are closed down and I am alone in a house where no one checks on me daily. This isn’t a good situation. I’m not depressed and I stay busy at my house and I go out for groceries. But mentally I know it’s not a good situation.
Do you have any hobbies to help keep you busy?
 
"But mentally I know it’s not a good situation. "@Tabby

That's the part I relate to. I live alone (happily) and my sons aren't very far away, like a 10 minute drive for either of them, but they work and have families and don't stop in much since the start of covid. They don't call much either, but that's on me - they know I don't like gabbing on the phone. So, yeah, the fact that I could lie here injured or dead for weeks before being found is at the back of my mind almost daily. Well, it wouldn't be THAT long bc the 2 youngest grandkids visit every weekend, but I'm thinking about asking the boys to check in every few days, like to just shoot me a "Hey, u ok?" text.
 
I’m at a total loss in dealing with the pandemic. I retired and moved to a new home in a new town right before the pandemic and intended to join a church and club near my home in order to meet new senior friends and find at least one person I could exchange emergency help with, like feeding a dog or cat during a hospitalization. Now both the church and club are closed down and I am alone in a house where no one checks on me daily. This isn’t a good situation. I’m not depressed and I stay busy at my house and I go out for groceries. But mentally I know it’s not a good situation.
I wish that I could say that I am not depressed, but I am. I struggle with it everyday. I don't want to do anything, like bathe, clean my house, ANYTHING! I have to push myself to do the bare minimum. So, I guess, I am trying to say that despite your circumstances, you are holding up pretty well.
My son, texts me every couple of days and I have one friend that calls every 4 or 5 days, just to check that I am still here. My friend is married and they actually see some family and friends and go a few places. She takes a lot more risks than I do. But she is also depressed. I think she might have been depressed prior to covid. But we share a common bond in our depression. I feel for you being in a new environment just as this happened...that is very unfortunate. However, I really don't have any friends in the area that I live in. My friend that calls is across the country. I do have my son but we don't see each other as he is still working and they have to be out in the world and he is scared and so am I that they could give it to me. It is just very difficult. Some days..... I am just a little crazy. I read and keep my head in fantasy land, but some days that doesn't even work. I can't focus on the book I am reading. I read a whole book yesterday, because I was enjoying it. It is like, I stay there (in the book) and not here. I know it is not really healthy, but it is keeping my at least partially sane.
 
"But mentally I know it’s not a good situation. "@Tabby

That's the part I relate to. I live alone (happily) and my sons aren't very far away, like a 10 minute drive for either of them, but they work and have families and don't stop in much since the start of covid. They don't call much either, but that's on me - they know I don't like gabbing on the phone. So, yeah, the fact that I could lie here injured or dead for weeks before being found is at the back of my mind almost daily. Well, it wouldn't be THAT long bc the 2 youngest grandkids visit every weekend, but I'm thinking about asking the boys to check in every few days, like to just shoot me a "Hey, u ok?" text.
I actually talked to my son about checking on me regularly. I said, I don't want to be one of those people who die and no one knows it until I start to stink!
 
I wish that I could say that I am not depressed, but I am. I struggle with it everyday. I don't want to do anything, like bathe, clean my house, ANYTHING! I have to push myself to do the bare minimum. So, I guess, I am trying to say that despite your circumstances, you are holding up pretty well.
My son, texts me every couple of days and I have one friend that calls every 4 or 5 days, just to check that I am still here. My friend is married and they actually see some family and friends and go a few places. She takes a lot more risks than I do. But she is also depressed. I think she might have been depressed prior to covid. But we share a common bond in our depression. I feel for you being in a new environment just as this happened...that is very unfortunate. However, I really don't have any friends in the area that I live in. My friend that calls is across the country. I do have my son but we don't see each other as he is still working and they have to be out in the world and he is scared and so am I that they could give it to me. It is just very difficult. Some days..... I am just a little crazy. I read and keep my head in fantasy land, but some days that doesn't even work. I can't focus on the book I am reading. I read a whole book yesterday, because I was enjoying it. It is like, I stay there (in the book) and not here. I know it is not really healthy, but it is keeping my at least partially sane.
Having trouble with posting
 
I wish that I could say that I am not depressed, but I am. I struggle with it everyday. I don't want to do anything, like bathe, clean my house, ANYTHING! I have to push myself to do the bare minimum. So, I guess, I am trying to say that despite your circumstances, you are holding up pretty well.
My son, texts me every couple of days and I have one friend that calls every 4 or 5 days, just to check that I am still here. My friend is married and they actually see some family and friends and go a few places. She takes a lot more risks than I do. But she is also depressed. I think she might have been depressed prior to covid. But we share a common bond in our depression. I feel for you being in a new environment just as this happened...that is very unfortunate. However, I really don't have any friends in the area that I live in. My friend that calls is across the country. I do have my son but we don't see each other as he is still working and they have to be out in the world and he is scared and so am I that they could give it to me. It is just very difficult. Some days..... I am just a little crazy. I read and keep my head in fantasy land, but some days that doesn't even work. I can't focus on the book I am reading. I read a whole book yesterday, because I was enjoying it. It is like, I stay there (in the book) and not here. I know it is not really healthy, but it is keeping my at least partially sane.
I would like read more but I have trouble finding books that draw me in enough to stick with it. I like fiction but not so much fantasy fiction. T.J. Boyle is a favorite but he mostly writes short stories. I devoured his novel, Tortilla Flats. I've enjoyed a couple of of Azimov's science fiction novels but some of the technology he builds them around is so dated now, you know? Like, it's not such a marvel now. My youngest granddaughter gave me this book called Finding Dorothy (Elizabeth Letts) for Christmas and even though I was anxious to read it, I haven't even cracked it open. idk, maybe I'm losing the concentration and focus that's needed, and maybe it is due to what's going on outside. hmm
 
@pip48 Here is my opinion which you are free to take or leave. Yell at me if you disagree. I’m ok with that cause I really want you to engage. I am so glad you’ve shared you feelings. We all will help you if you let us.

You are truly depressed, not situationally depressed but actual mental illness type depression, IMO, which simply means you need help to get over it. I am not therapist but, like many on here, I have been in therapy. I have been depressed to the point of wanting to die.

When I read that you cannot shower, clean, cook, do the basis to take care of yourself, it is apparent are in trouble and need help or certainly more help than you are getting right now, which seems to be none. I am extremely worried about you. You should think of getting therapy or tell your favorite child that you are struggling.

But I have another suggestion. Make a list, Yup. A list of what you NEED to do. Shower, number one on the list. That’s first. That’s all. Take a pad and make several pieces of paper with the word shower on them. Post them on the bathroom door, frig door, bedroom door, next to the tv, etc. just the word shower. In other words, like a nagging wife or friends, nag yourself to shower until you are showering every dang day.

Sounds silly, it tends to work. Once you are showering you will feel better. Then chose the next thing you can not do. Make a list Shower first, maybe clean undies next. Whatever you choose. And whatever it takes to do the second thing put it one the list. Like to have clean underwear you have to do the laundry. So shower, laundry, clean under wear. Posties all over the house. Nag, nag, nag yourself.

We also have no friends where we live and now that it’s winter we are shut in. I am on here everyday, talking to people as you should be. Talk to us, start threads about what you are interested in. We are all isolated to a certain extent.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. WE ARE HERE.
 
I would like read more but I have trouble finding books that draw me in enough to stick with it. I like fiction but not so much fantasy fiction. T.J. Boyle is a favorite but he mostly writes short stories. I devoured his novel, Tortilla Flats. I've enjoyed a couple of of Azimov's science fiction novels but some of the technology he builds them around is so dated now, you know? Like, it's not such a marvel now. My youngest granddaughter gave me this book called Finding Dorothy (Elizabeth Letts) for Christmas and even though I was anxious to read it, I haven't even cracked it open. idk, maybe I'm losing the concentration and focus that's needed, and maybe it is due to what's going on outside. hmm
Kindle unlimited was on sale for 99 cents for two months, you might try it for a wider choice of books. You can read books on your iPad or iPhone or probably stand alone computer. I have taken for the two months, found a book I really wanted to read, although it take me a month to read a book but it saves me money. Library is closed still.
 
I would like read more but I have trouble finding books that draw me in enough to stick with it. I like fiction but not so much fantasy fiction. T.J. Boyle is a favorite but he mostly writes short stories. I devoured his novel, Tortilla Flats. I've enjoyed a couple of of Azimov's science fiction novels but some of the technology he builds them around is so dated now, you know? Like, it's not such a marvel now. My youngest granddaughter gave me this book called Finding Dorothy (Elizabeth Letts) for Christmas and even though I was anxious to read it, I haven't even cracked it open. idk, maybe I'm losing the concentration and focus that's needed, and maybe it is due to what's going on outside. hmm
I read Historical Romance novels, they are so fanciful and always have a happy ending. Some have mystery plots, and action stuff, but the main theme is the love story and they get pretty descriptive and steamy. They deal with the politics and wars that were going on in Scotland and England and there is some history. But mostly totally unrealistic and a total escape from what is going on in the world today.

Everything is just so ugly today.
 
I read Historical Romance novels, they are so fanciful and always have a happy ending. Some have mystery plots, and action stuff, but the main theme is the love story and they get pretty descriptive and steamy. They deal with the politics and wars that were going on in Scotland and England and there is some history. But mostly totally unrealistic and a total escape from what is going on in the world today.

Everything is just so ugly today.
Everything looks so ugly today to you. I get it. But it’s not. People are helping other people like people always do and always will. There is a vaccine on the horizon. The birds still fly and sing, dogs still bark and poop on your lawn, and, thank goodness, tv continues to be available. The new shows have started.

Life will get very good again, we just have to wait. There is kindness out there in abundance and on the forum. You just need to see the beauty that surrounds you, cause it does.

I asked another member to put pictures on the forum of school buses for my son with Down’s syndrome, and he did. I bet @FastTrax was surprised at the others members who liked the pictures as well. My son loved them. As the old saying goes, stop and smell the roses.
 


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