Old friends, alive or dead?

Sunny

SF VIP
Location
Maryland
My husband and I became friends with a German couple back in the 1950's, when DH was stationed with the Army in Germany, and we both lived there for a year. Hans, who was then a teenager, was a delightful, sociable person who befriended many Americans and acted as a kind of good will ambassador in those prickly times.

Over the years, our friendship blossomed. He and his wife visited us, with their son, years later, and we visited them when on a trip to Germany. We stayed in each other's homes. In other words, good friends. Hans wrote a book about the friendships between American troops and the local Germans in those days, and wrote a chapter about us! (He sent me a copy of the book.)

He has remained very active all his life, and his local paper did an article about how he is the "unofficial mayor" of his town.

Every year, Hans has sent out a beautiful Christmas card, which I've always looked forward to. This year, nada. At first I wondered whether it's just because of mail problems, and who knows how the German mail is functioning? But now I am concerned that Hans has either died or is too incapacitated to contact anyone. He is in his late 70's. I tried email, which got returned saying it is undeliverable. I emailed his son, same result. I don't have a phone number.

I'm about to send a snail mail to his address, but I suspect that that will be returned as well. It made me realize that it's nearly impossible to find out the whereabouts of a person you are trying to contact, or even whether they are alive or dead.

Or is it? Does anyone have any experience trying to track down a person, without violating privacy concerns? It's a horrible feeling to have a friendship of over 60 years end so suddenly, with absolutely no idea what happened.
 

The obituary section of the local newspaper is usually where I start.

A couple, my best friends from university, and I lost track of each other. Eventually I found he was deceased. No mention of her. A search sometimes found her name with no reference except to her deceased husband. Their DD is on FB. For some reason, I‘ve never contacted her and likely won’t.
 
I lost touch with an old friend, after e mailing and FaceTiming regularly, I sent birthday and Christmas cards last year, checked the obituary notices in his local paper but found no reports, then, just before Christmas I was delighted to receive a funny video from him, a cartoon father Christmas with my friends face, he Facetimed me, explaining why he’d not been in touch

I hope you’re friend is alright Sunny and you hear from him soon
 
We hear of people who have found someone they searched for by posting a message on Facebook. The message circulates and sometimes it works.
 
My husband and I became friends with a German couple back in the 1950's, when DH was stationed with the Army in Germany, and we both lived there for a year. Hans, who was then a teenager, was a delightful, sociable person who befriended many Americans and acted as a kind of good will ambassador in those prickly times.

Over the years, our friendship blossomed. He and his wife visited us, with their son, years later, and we visited them when on a trip to Germany. We stayed in each other's homes. In other words, good friends. Hans wrote a book about the friendships between American troops and the local Germans in those days, and wrote a chapter about us! (He sent me a copy of the book.)

He has remained very active all his life, and his local paper did an article about how he is the "unofficial mayor" of his town.

Every year, Hans has sent out a beautiful Christmas card, which I've always looked forward to. This year, nada. At first I wondered whether it's just because of mail problems, and who knows how the German mail is functioning? But now I am concerned that Hans has either died or is too incapacitated to contact anyone. He is in his late 70's. I tried email, which got returned saying it is undeliverable. I emailed his son, same result. I don't have a phone number.

I'm about to send a snail mail to his address, but I suspect that that will be returned as well. It made me realize that it's nearly impossible to find out the whereabouts of a person you are trying to contact, or even whether they are alive or dead.

Or is it? Does anyone have any experience trying to track down a person, without violating privacy concerns? It's a horrible feeling to have a friendship of over 60 years end so suddenly, with absolutely no idea what happened.
I had an online best friend for three years who disappeared after saying she was leaving to help her sister who was in hospice with terminal cancer. We belonged to a forum. She was never heard from again by anyone on the forum. Well, that's cyber life. :cry: I had another best friend IRL who lived a few neighborhoods away from me. She died of breast cancer 5 years ago. But at least I knew.

It's awful when you don't know and can't find out. I'd rather know. It provides closure.
 
The only way I know to do this is to send a private message to a trusted friend, giving them our email address. Otherwise, it's probably too risky.
 


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