Are You Judgemental?

Pepper said:
Yes to some extent, usually in matters political. Most everything else I consider none of my business.
Click to expand...
My question is: Do you judge them on their Democratic-Republican affiliation (assuming you are an American) or by their actual, minute-by-minute, real-time opinion on specific subjets?
 

I think I am judgmental. But I am tactful and don't say anything about it, except in private, not so they would hear me. I often remind myself about all the times people attacked my friends growing up in the sixties about our appearances. It was a big thing when boys started growing their hair long or us girls were wearing miniskirts or bell bottoms. Now things are a lot wilder than that was but I figure as long as they are not hurting anyone else it is their life. How I feel about something or someone doesn't really matter to them anyway. The only thing might be is people smoking where I am, as I cannot breathe around it at all. I hate the smell of it and the litter it results in all around the streets and parking lots. I never mention it to the person smoking though. Instead I make sure I am never around smokers at all and that works for me.
 
Being judgmental is a negative term typically used to describe someone who too frequently rushes to judgment without reason. It describes someone who forms lots of opinions — usually harsh or critical ones — about lots of people.

Do any of us have the right to evaluate another’s behavior, appearance etc, and if the answer to that is yes, then against what criteria are we evaluating? Typically it’s our OWN behavior, appearance etc. which imho is where rushing to judgment of someone, judging them negatively, begins to go off the rails.

Because another’s appearance or behavior is different than my own, than the standards I subscribe to, does that automatically make them wrong? Of course not! It just makes them different than me.

I used to be very quick to rush to judgement of people when I was young. But I’ve had some very harsh ups and downs in my life and it’s taught me the value of learning about the whole person, because I know nothing about the experiences in their life that formed them, about the story behind who they are and the reasons they’re the way they are.

These days I’ve come to believe that when I’m judging someone harshly, that says way more about me than the person I’m passing judgement on.
 
Last edited:
I don't really know what you mean by judgmental. If I see someone looking a certain way, I might think they shouldn't wear that outfit, or wear their hair a certain way, etc. but I don't think that makes them a bad person. I would never say anything to the person. I do think it though, but maybe that is more of an opinion.

I have a friend in her late 60's who has a lot of tattoos. We have gone dancing with her and she wears "twirly skirts" and wears thongs underneath (some people even think she doesn't wear underwear at all). Everytime she turns fast the skirt shows everything for a couple of seconds. She is extraordinarily good-hearted, however and does a lot of charity work. However, it would be hard not to think badly of her if you didn't know her. It honestly doesn't become her to look like that but she isn't a bad person.
 
Jeweltea said:
I don't really know what you mean by judgmental. If I see someone looking a certain way, I might think they shouldn't wear that outfit, or wear their hair a certain way, etc. but I don't think that makes them a bad person. I would never say anything to the person. I do think it though, but maybe that is more of an opinion.

I have a friend in her late 60's who has a lot of tattoos. We have gone dancing with her and she wears "twirly skirts" and wears thongs underneath (some people even think she doesn't wear underwear at all). Everytime she turns fast the skirt shows everything for a couple of seconds. She is extraordinarily good-hearted, however and does a lot of charity work. However, it would be hard not to think badly of her if you didn't know her. It honestly doesn't become her to look like that but she isn't a bad person.
Click to expand...
I imagine there are people who look at me with my tattoos and turquoise or pink hair overlaying the gray, and the tutus I wear for fun sometimes when I’m dancing or doing things with the grandkids, and a bunch of other looks and behaviors that are not typical for someone who’spushing 70.

I. Just. Don’t. Care.

They don’t know me. Those who DO know me know my heart, my character and values...they know who I am. They see ME. Not my ink or weird clothes or colorful hair. That’s all that matters to me. That I’m seen for WHO I am inside, and not what I look like.

I aspire to relate the others that same way.
 
Ronni said:
I imagine there are people who look at me with my tattoos and turquoise or pink hair overlaying the gray, and the tutus I wear for fun sometimes when I’m dancing or doing things with the grandkids, and a bunch of other looks and behaviors that are not typical for someone who’spushing 70.

I. Just. Don’t. Care.

They don’t know me. Those who DO know me know my heart, my character and values...they know who I am. They see ME. Not my ink or weird clothes or colorful hair. That’s all that matters to me. That I’m seen for WHO I am inside, and not what I look like.

I aspire to relate the others that same way.
Click to expand...
yes, that is why I try not to be judgmental concerning the character of a person based on their looks, their hair, their clothes or whatever. It is not my concern if people wear "man buns", have tattoos, piercings or whatever, doesn't make them a bad person. Sometimes it is hard not to make a snap judgment though.
 
Ronni said:
I imagine there are people who look at me with my tattoos and turquoise or pink hair overlaying the gray, and the tutus I wear for fun sometimes when I’m dancing or doing things with the grandkids, and a bunch of other looks and behaviors that are not typical for someone who’spushing 70.

I. Just. Don’t. Care.

They don’t know me. Those who DO know me know my heart, my character and values...they know who I am. They see ME. Not my ink or weird clothes or colorful hair. That’s all that matters to me. That I’m seen for WHO I am inside, and not what I look like.

I aspire to relate the others that same way.
Click to expand...
You're a cowgirl ain't ya'! Line dancing?
 
Ruthanne said:
I have worked at being nonjudgmental for a long time yet I find myself judging negatively at times--I notice when I'm not feeling good or stressed I do it more and then I realize it and come back to earth and see things differently. It doesn't feel good to be that way.
Click to expand...
You and I agree on this! When not feeling good or stressed is when I know I need to be especially careful and an indication I need to try harder......:)
 
MarciKS said:
welllllllllllllllllll now if you're gonna walk past me like this gal did today in bright blue hair that makes you look like a clown...i'm gonna be having some judgmental thoughts. cuz it looks stupid. and it was an employee so to me it's highly inappropriate. i don't tell her that but if i could i would. lol!

i try to give everyone a chance. but the way things are today it's getting harder.
Click to expand...
LOL ...I never tell anyone how I am judging them..I am just working to keep from being judgemental and trying to stay neutral with a 'live and let live'....(within certain parameters of course:))
 
Verisure said:
You mean like Watts, Haight-Ashbury, or anywhere near the White House or the Pentagon?
Click to expand...
I was not thinking about geographical areas when I said area .. But I can see all those you mentioned could raise some judgments
and could/would be good places to practice non-judgment :)
 
Ronni said:
Being judgmental is a negative term typically used to describe someone who too frequently rushes to judgment without reason. It describes someone who forms lots of opinions — usually harsh or critical ones — about lots of people.

Do any of us have the right to evaluate another’s behavior, appearance etc, and if the answer to that is yes, then against what criteria are we evaluating? Typically it’s our OWN behavior, appearance etc. which imho is where rushing to judgment of someone, judging them negatively, begins to go off the rails.

Because another’s appearance or behavior is different than my own, than the standards I subscribe to, does that automatically make them wrong? Of course not! It just makes them different than me.

I used to be very quick to rush to judgement of people when I was young. But I’ve had some very harsh ups and downs in my life and it’s taught me the value of learning about the whole person, because I know nothing about the experiences in their life that formed them, about the story behind who they are and the reasons they’re the way they are.

These days I’ve come to believe that when I’m judging someone harshly, that says way more about me than the person I’m passing judgement on.
Click to expand...
Thank you..very well said!! I also believe the more and harsher we judge others may indicate the level with which we judge ourselves...
 
Pepper said:
Let's judge your spelling. Judgmental would be correct. Common mistake, no big deal. Discerning can be a Good Thing! ;)
Click to expand...
It was my understanding both spellings are correct...at least for Brits...I believe the British spell it with or without an e?
 
Jeweltea said:
I don't really know what you mean by judgmental. If I see someone looking a certain way, I might think they shouldn't wear that outfit, or wear their hair a certain way, etc. but I don't think that makes them a bad person. I would never say anything to the person. I do think it though, but maybe that is more of an opinion.

I have a friend in her late 60's who has a lot of tattoos. We have gone dancing with her and she wears "twirly skirts" and wears thongs underneath (some people even think she doesn't wear underwear at all). Everytime she turns fast the skirt shows everything for a couple of seconds. She is extraordinarily good-hearted, however and does a lot of charity work. However, it would be hard not to think badly of her if you didn't know her. It honestly doesn't become her to look like that but she isn't a bad person.
Click to expand...
In many cases the harm is to the person who is judging...Good for your friend... 😀 she sounds terrific!
I think my tattoo judgement just comes from the way I was raised..small town in Louisiana...only people who had tattoos were in the circus,.so I need to work on that :confused:
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top