grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
Many children are told when their parents divorce, that the marriage and family into which they were born, was the result of a mistake on behalf of one or maybe both parents, (I believe Princess Diana told her boys this was the case too).
In a sense it is almost a truism, after all if the marriage had been happy it would have endured, hence there has to be a mistake of some kind, and I suppose blame to be apportioned afterwards.
However, I wonder whether the parent breaking up the marriage sometimes uses the excuse "it was a mistake", (or " it was all a mistake"), to cover the fact there was once love between the couple, and real feelings there, but to avoid being questioned by the child trying to understand what went on, it is easier to declare their marriage, and hence any children produced as a mistake, (the marriage bit at least to be regretted and put right, or as right as it could be, given you can't unmake those children if you wanted to).
My view is a child brought into this world as a result of a loving relationship is not a mistake, and therefore should not be told by their parents the relationship was "all a mistake", (even if you have to give the child an alternative explanation of their parents finding they were better apart for whatever reason, though they loved one another once).
In a sense it is almost a truism, after all if the marriage had been happy it would have endured, hence there has to be a mistake of some kind, and I suppose blame to be apportioned afterwards.
However, I wonder whether the parent breaking up the marriage sometimes uses the excuse "it was a mistake", (or " it was all a mistake"), to cover the fact there was once love between the couple, and real feelings there, but to avoid being questioned by the child trying to understand what went on, it is easier to declare their marriage, and hence any children produced as a mistake, (the marriage bit at least to be regretted and put right, or as right as it could be, given you can't unmake those children if you wanted to).
My view is a child brought into this world as a result of a loving relationship is not a mistake, and therefore should not be told by their parents the relationship was "all a mistake", (even if you have to give the child an alternative explanation of their parents finding they were better apart for whatever reason, though they loved one another once).