Brother died no family

Tara, this is too soon to be making any major decisions of any kind and where you are going to live is a major decision. After a death in the family none of us think like we should to be making this type of decision. You are not thinking clearly and I say this from experience. Give your self more time!
 

Two points:
1. Don't let anyone "put the booths to you." They say when a spouse dies or a marriage breakdown; don't make any big decisions for 12 months. Good advice.
2. Sounds fishy but you and brother lived here for X years and the place did not burn down. Now, suddenly your told that you better move ASAP before the place burns down due to poor wiring. I would get a professional electrician to give you his honest, non-biased opinion of the wiring.
Remember, don't let anyone push you around. I sure hate hearing stories about seniors being forced into some sort of senior place unless they themselves have decided to do so. Sometimes it's the kids but looks like the executor here. Tell him, "thank you for the advice but no thank you."
 
Welcome Tara. Very sorry to hear you lost your brother, my condolences. I agree with RadishRose, it's wise to have the house electric checked for safety, and repair or replace what's needed for you to stay there until you're ready to move somewhere else. Please don't let anyone rush you or push you into doing anything. Wishing you the best.
 

John cycling said:
He can not tear down the house without your permission unless he's the owner.
I'm curious how he would benefit if the house was torn down, and why he wants you to move out.
It sure seems to me that he is not looking out for you, but rather for his own benefit - and contrary to yours.

As long as you are the owner, you can do what you want with the property.
Maybe you need to find out more of what your rights are, from elsewhere, and in what ways that he's overstepping.
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Good points, good advice!
 
Murrmurr said:
Tara, the company that provides electricity to your home might have a program for seniors where they come out and check your wiring for free. Most utility providers do. If they find any problems and you are in the low-income bracket, they will even fix the wiring for free or for reduced charges.

If I were in your shoes, I would tell that executor to go soak his head.
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A phrase I haven't heard in years, Murrmurr! "Go soak your head" was one of my mother's favorite sayings, along with "Go jump in the lake."

I agree with you -- I'd tell that executor to go soak his head, too!
 
Kaila said:
He should not make that decision, and no one should pressure or hurry you to make any, Tara.
Tell him you want to take your time, to think about it.
Keep repeating that to him, if necessary.

Or tell him no, not now.
And then, get someone else, to look and tell you what repairs would be needed, to keep you safe,
until you have time to make a better, more long-term decision.

I wonder why neither he nor your brother, when your brother was there, thought the house was not safe enough to fix up, for a while longer. What is the rush now, that your brother did not feel rushed about, and his "friend" did not rush him into it?

Now that it's just you, the "friend" is pressuring you and frightening you.
I would find out what repairs it needs.
Tell him you will not decide to sell so quickly.
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Strongly agree!
 
Murrmurr said:
Tara, the company that provides electricity to your home might have a program for seniors where they come out and check your wiring for free. Most utility providers do. If they find any problems and you are in the low-income bracket, they will even fix the wiring for free or for reduced charges.

If I were in your shoes, I would tell that executor to go soak his head.
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Welcome to the forum. I agree with the others. Give yourself some time. Tell the executor that you have a lot to think about and you will get back with him. If you don't have a personal attorney then check with your states Council on Aging. Here in Texas you can consult with an attorney for a nominal fee to get started.
 
Tara said:
My brother died. We shared a house together. I am a youthful 75 yr old lady. His friends are trying to help me with the financial worries. The executor wants me to move to retirement home in a few months because he says the wiring is too dangerous. I own the
House now and I have no family left. Brother died on memorial day.

I am alone in the world. He is like rushing me. He wants me to look at different homes with him.i do not want to do this. I am interested in the Moravian manor in Lancaster. Pa.
I am in good health. What do you think? I do not think that there would be a fire here even with the old fuse box. Is there a waiting time for the. Moravian manor?
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Tara --

Sounds like this guy is giving you the bum's rush for whatever reasons of his own. BEWARE of people (whoever they are) trying to "help" you -- they may have their own interests in doing so.

1. First off, did your brother leave a will? If there is no will to probate, there cannot be a legal executor. If there's a will, do you have a copy? IF there's a will, is it already in probate? Seems way too fast to me, since your brother only died in late May. Usually death certificates aren't even issued that fast and most places you have to have to have the death certificate to file a formal probate.

2. Who actually owns the house? Did you and your brother own the house together, and if so, how did you own it -- in joint tenancy with right of survivorship, or as tenants in common? If it was in joint tenancy, the house passes to you by operation of law, without probate. If you do not know how the house is owned, you can get a copy from your county clerk or recorder or whoever records deeds in your county. Call 'em up and ask them how to request a copy.

3. VERY IMPORTANT -- in most jurisdictions there is a Senior Citizens' Law Office (or under some other name) who will give you free or very reduced rate legal services to answer questions and otherwise help protect your rights in theses kinds of issues. Check with your local council on aging or whatever you have there. They can give you guidance in finding out who can help you.

4. As to financial issues, be careful you are not stampeded into paying any bills that you are not legally required to pay -- he was your brother, not your husband, so in most places there would be no community property bills unless you have legally obligated yourself to pay them (like if you and he had a mortgage or car loan together or if you had signed on to be legally responsible for medical bills)

5. You need good legal advice that is particular to your state. Either check out some senior citizens' local law advice or find a private attorney to answer questions and advise you. Even if you have to pay for an appointment for guidance it would be money very well spent to get reliable legal advice about exactly where you stand. Not to get legal advice now could cost you way more money down the road if you don't know where you stand right now.

I wouldn't do a single thing until I had consulted someone for legal advice. I also wouldn't tear down a house I could live in until I knew (from an expert) that there was no reasonable option (like fixing the wiring).
 
Butterfly said:
I wouldn't do a single thing until I had consulted someone for legal advice. I also wouldn't tear down a house I could live in until I knew (from an expert) that there was no reasonable option (like fixing the wiring).
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I agree.
Plus, I wouldn't tear down a house I might sell, without lots more info on whether that is truly worth doing, and advantageous or not.

In some States, the first interview regarding an issue/situation,
with most any lawyer is free, and one can ask quite a few useful questions during that, and it could be done on the phone.
 
Kaila said:
If you have any Agency of Aging, call them, and ask for someone to truly help you.
This helper who suddenly wants to tear your house down, and to sell....
doesnt sound like the type of helper you need.
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I do not have enough money to pay the household bills. Utilities and other. They do not think it is good enough to flip. He wants me to leave first before he sells it for the land.i do not want assisted living or need a.nursimg home I only get 633 in social security. He wants th
 
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Kaila said:
If you have any Agency of Aging, call them, and ask for someone to truly help you.
This helper who suddenly wants to tear your house down, and to sell....
doesnt sound like the type of helper you need.
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My ex sister in law says she will stay and live with me and split the bills. She is getting a lawyer . Most of the money is coming from my late brothers bank accounts to keep the house.i own it now. I have some savings. I am a youthful senior but he wants me in a. Nursing home.
 
Tara said:
My ex sister in law says she will stay and live with me and split the bills. She is getting a lawyer . Most of the money is coming from my late brothers bank accounts to keep the house.i own it now. I have some savings. I am a youthful senior but he wants me in a. Nursing home.
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That sounds good Tara, about your ex-SIL sharing the bills, great if that happens. Don't listen to the executor, what he's saying sounds fishy, don't trust him or rush into anything. Don't sign anything, be very wary. Good luck, you can do this! You have received some thoughtful advice here from caring people, you are not alone.
 
Tara said:
I do not have enough money to pay the household bills. Utilities and other. They do not think it is good enough to flip. He wants me to leave first before he sells it for the land.i do not want assisted living or need a.nursimg home I only get 633 in social security. He wants th
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Apply for Social Security Income. They will supplement your check with a little more money each month.
 
It's a good suggestion, @katlupe
But I think that the assets would disqualify someone from SSI.

However, they change rules all the time, and the rules differ in locations, so it is certainly worth investigating all options !

I hope that works out well for you, with your ex-SIL, Tara.
If not, try to find someone else.
You have the right to decide what you want to do.
 
I haven't read all of the replies but if you're living in a house then I can understand that it might be too much responsibility. You're only one year older than I so you're not really OLD yet and from what I can gather from your post you are probably in better shape than I. As I said, I haven't read all of the replies but has anyone recommended living in a flat?
 
I have never needed an attorney until a close friend died and named me executor of his estate. Here in Texas you can get a one time visit for free which is not correct as they do charge a nominal fee of $20.00, which was fine with me. There is a pro bono group of lawyers that donate some of their time to help people in this group. The attorney told me his group regularly charged $325.00 an hour but they donate their time to this project. They probably get a tax write off for doing it.
 
Maybe he really is worried about your safety in the old place and wants the best outcome for you, if he’s not in the will and has no connection to the house, what other motive could there be to get you to move out?
 
mellowyellow said:
Maybe he really is worried about your safety in the old place and wants the best outcome for you, if he’s not in the will and has no connection to the house, what other motive could there be to get you to move out?
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Who knows what his motives are, but it can be very foolish to trust others who appear to have your interest at heart suddenly in a case like this and try to force you to do things you don't want to do. Who knows? He could have some kind of side deal with someone for the land, whilst she ends up in some dump of a nursing home, or some such.

Anyone who has her true best interests at heart would have no problem with her getting some independent advice and trying to find a way to stay in her home. As a matter of fact, if he truly has her best interests at heart, he would be helping her try to find some help rather than trying to stampede her out of her home.

Never underestimate the duplicity of your fellow man, especially where there is money and/or valuable property involved.
 
Good advice here. I have nothing to add, except to say that I live in an independent community for "seniors" (over 55) and love it, especially for all the activities. But I would not advise making any hasty decision about this.

Get an electrician. There are many good ones. If the electrical wiring is really unsafe, he can tell you that, and probably fix it. I would only rely on a professional's opinion about this.

If you like your home and want to stay there, make any necessary repairs (if affordable) and stay there. Meanwhile,, you can always continue investigating retirement communities.
 
I agree with Sunny.

Do you KNOW your wiring is bad, or is that what you assume or what some non-electrician has told you. An old fuse box doesn't necessarily mean your wiring in the house is bad. I thought my kitchen wiring was "bad" years ago, because I kept blowing fuses; turns out the electrician said there wasn't anything wrong with the wiring, but the kitchen (old house) wasn't wired for the current that things like microwaves, etc. required. Easy solution -- I had the electrician put a new circuit in the kitchen so it would handle that load, along with a new breaker box. It wasn't all that expensive.
 
Condolences on the loss of your brother! So sorry about your current situation. I've always read and heard that after a traumatic event such as the death of a loved one, it's best to put off making major decisions for at least a year. My concern in your case however, would be about the condition of your home, particularly the electrical wiring and your safety. If you can make sure you'll be safe and secure in your home and manage paying what needs to be paid...then don't rush things. Just perusing some of the responses, seems like @Butterfly made some very good points.
 

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