Is Ridicule Just Another Name For Bullying?

I will throw my two cents in because it may help someone....or not. When someones actions or words offend me. It is not their problem it is mine. I am the one who makes the decision to let their actions affect me or not. I try not to let other people rent free space in my head. I also believe we reap what we sow.
 

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win231 said:
I think ridicule & bullying are the same. And Covid has brought out what's already there in some individuals who have no constructive ways to feel good about themselves.
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And thank you for providing a classic example of an attempt to ridicule those who disagree with you. (y)
 
Lawrence said:
I agree with you. I an a new member and wish I never joined this forum. I wish I could have my account closed here and delete everything pertaining about me on this forum.
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AFAIK, you are not required to continue viewing or posting on this forum, or any other. Yes, your posts will remain, but soon be buried by new ones.
 

I remember sitting in my grandparents house, and Grannie saying to me,"Tim, me lad, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything." Then Granddad threw in his two penneth by saying, " If a bully starts hitting you, them smack him as hard as you can on the nose, and chances are he'll steer clear of you in the future."
Some of you lovely people on here my not agree with that advice, but I've practiced it all my life...... and it works.... for me. :)
 
Shero said:
I like this: "The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely stating an alternative point of view to the orthodoxy, can be interpreted as insult."
Rowan Atkinson
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Constructive criticism and ridicule are miles apart and if you have to stop and think about how it would be interpreted it likely falls into the latter category.

Sarcasm, if it falls into light hearted teasing is sometimes delightful back and forth banter, but when it crossed the line, well again, we all know the result.
 
Lee said:
Constructive criticism and ridicule are miles apart and if you have to stop and think about how it would be interpreted it likely falls into the latter category.

Sarcasm, if it falls into light hearted teasing is sometimes delightful back and forth banter, but when it crossed the line, well again, we all know the result.
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I agree with you Lee, maybe I sound as if I did not? It is so much easier, to have heated discussions with people in real life, where we see their facial and other reactions. On a forum like this one, it is difficult, so that is why I feel sometimes it is necessary to shut the conversation down and do not interact with the person who is doing the ridicule. Someone who ridicules has no personality in my opinion anyway.
 
Lee said:
Is Ridicule Just Another Name For Bullying?
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My simple answer is yes.

Interesting thread. I had never really thought about it so I looked up the definition of ridicule and found a number, here is some of what the Cambridge Dictionary had to say:

noun - words or actions that make someone or something seem foolish or stupid
verb - to laugh at someone or something in an unkind way

And from Wikipedia that I particularly like:

Appeal to ridicule, an informal fallacy which presents an opponent's argument as absurd

I am one who tries to interject some humor into discussions, I think it can help bring tempers down and make some folks more rational. However I would hope it is never perceived as ridicule, I don't mean it that way.

An example that comes to mind is a recent exchange I had with John Cycling on the vaccine, he suggested that those of us who were getting it would turn into chickens, and I responded that I was wondering where those feathers were coming from. John and I pretty much disagree on everything vaccine related, but I saw this exchange as all in good fun, on both our parts. Not ridicule and in fact I think something that helps us better communicate.

On the other hand I have seen some things here that do seem to me to fit the definition of ridicule. I try my best to avoid them, or on occasion say what I can to counter, but with real ridicule that is hard, its not a rational discussion.
Lee said:
Constructive criticism and ridicule are miles apart
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I agree!
 
feywon said:
You're entitled to your opinion and i to mine. I have duly noted that you don't want answers to your questions and you consider yourself the authority on what's ridiculous.
However, i never said i expected anything of others, i only offered my opinion (which you asked the question). I'm well aware that some people are capable of unkind, self serving words and deeds. From name calling to stereotyping and more. The fact that they do so, does not make any of it 'ok' or 'right'.
BTW, from what you say your mates apparently recognized the preludes to bullying and that as someone who got called 'barrel' you were a likely target when a bully wanted to stoke his own ego. Good for them for stepping up.
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You're jumping to far too many conclusions, mist of those calling me "barrel" were my mates, (the ones defending me from the not so savoury characters at the school, of whom there were very few - my father would have called you "opinionated", does that ring any bells for you if you know what the expressions means?).
I'm only an expert on what I think is ridiculous, and that is good enough for me to decide when to call something as such.

If you think you can tie me in knots, telling me I haven't answered this or that question, you're quite right, and I'm unlikely to invest the time trying to work out which questions I've been ducking.
 
Leonie said:
I can't say I've ever been bullied in forums. And yes I consider ridicule as bullying if it is carried on rather than a one-off. There have been occasional differences of opinion. I choose not to engage for the most part. I can't really see the point. In most discussions between people with strong opposing views neither is going to change, so it would just be an exercise in frustration.

I find walking away from an argument much easier on forums than in real life. There it can get a whole lot more tricky. On a forum, you can just shut down your computer, problem solved.
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I'm glad you say you've never been bullied, and I hope you'll take this as a compliment, I've never come across anyone from your fine country who couldn't stand up for themselves if anyone attempted to bully them, (wherever they came from in this world).

I must admit I'm not the best at walking away from someone "having a go" as I see it, (as you may have noticed!), though I acknowledge few arguments make any progress, although there are exceptions I'm pleased to say.
 
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Shero said:
I like this: "The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely stating an alternative point of view to the orthodoxy, can be interpreted as insult."
Rowan Atkinson
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Don't think anyone wants them 'outlawed', but we can cry 'foul' when someone lobs a verbal hardball, whether at us or someone else.

Personally, i as unpleasant as it can be, even just as a bystander not, i kind of appreciate the honestly unpleasant folks, While i don't make snap judgements based on single encounters, i watch for patterns (both in the world at large and cyber spaces) and now that i've finally learned to believe people when they show me who they are instead of giving 'benefit of the doubt' way too many times it helps me know who don't care to spend much time around.
 
Going to bed in a few minutes, but have to share this with you all. When I first started scuba diving, not many women did it and a few men scoffed. One in particular did not stop ridiculing me. So one day I invited him on the boat and there is a part of the boat where you can sit down just before entering the water. I invited him to sit next to me, then threw him overboard. I found out h could not swim very well and dived in to rescue him. No more ridicule!!
 
grahamg said:
If you think you can tie me in knots, telling me I haven't answered this or that question, you're quite right, and I'm unlikely to invest the time trying to work out which questions I've been ducking.
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1) i said nothing about you not answering questions--i said you ask them not really wanting an answer. Very different thing.
2) Why would i want to tie you knots? i was just hoping that you might realize how ridiculous you sometimes sound without using your own word as it's not one i like to apply to people.
3) We all get to decide who and what is worth investing time in and clearly i still give some people too much 'benefit of doubt' too often. Won't trouble you anymore..
 
feywon said:
Don't think anyone wants them 'outlawed', but we can cry 'foul' when someone lobs a verbal hardball, whether at us or someone else.

Personally, i as unpleasant as it can be, even just as a bystander not, i kind of appreciate the honestly unpleasant folks, While i don't make snap judgements based on single encounters, i watch for patterns (both in the world at large and cyber spaces) and now that i've finally learned to believe people when they show me who they are instead of giving 'benefit of the doubt' way too many times it helps me know who don't care to spend much time around.
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well, you see, I do not believe that one can tell what people really are from cyber contact. In my opinion, not probable. In real life that is possible. It does not make sense to me to get too upset about what people say on the forum. Take it all with a little salt and as my Jewish relative would say, leave a little salt on the plate.
 
Ridicule as with bullying is annoying because the one doing the power game feels very insecure. That is why their language is designed to control you usually by demeaning you personally. Then you are hurt and weak and able to be manipulated to their narcissistic madness. They are bottom feeders looking for crumbs of human flesh to survive on. :devilish:
 
I have learned from being on forums and social media for many years that being tactful is not common. People feel free to say whatever, even if they know it may hurt someone's feelings. Over the years though, I have learned which topics to stay away from and I do. I wanted to get away from all the political and religious arguments and joined this forum. I really enjoy it and the members here. But I do not go to the topics that may turn political. I don't expect everyone to agree with me on everything. If I want to argue.........I always have fakebook.
 
Lee said:
Diva, I agree, if attacked you do have the right and should defend yourself or your idea. However it is not in anyone's best interest to keep it going. Say what you have to say and leave it at that. It is when it keeps going back and forth it turns into the same scenario of kindergarten kids taunting each other in a playground.....someone always runs away hurt.
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i agree--make your points, maybe respond to questions or points other make--but when it becomes redundant and counterproductive.--i'm done, at least with those who are being that way, sometimes i'll then just focus on the folks i know are more reasonable even in disagreement.

About that last sentence, some of us leave because we feel our own patience waning and have no wish to hurt others. i've sometimes typed out sharp responses because it puts it outside of me, then i delete it before posting a more measured response if any. Being human i sometimes still cut too close to the bone.

Part of being an adult is learning when to walk away. So what if the verbal bullies think they 'won' (what some pointless internet argument?????) and i 'ran away, hurt'? If i don't even think that continued discussion with someone about something can give a decent ROI (Return On Investment--can apply to time/energy spent not just $$), why would i care what they think about the situation or me???? i do care what i think about me, so i try to leave before i give into my frustration with them.
 
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Shero said:
well, you see, I do not believe that one can tell what people really are from cyber contact. In my opinion, not probable. In real life that is possible. It does not make sense to me to get too upset about what people say on the forum. Take it all with a little salt and as my Jewish relative would say, leave a little salt on the plate.
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Well it certainly makes it easier to not to take contentious exchanges to serious if one takes your view. And i will not knock it, if it works for you. The taking with a grain of salt (for me that includes compliments as well as put-downs till i've engaged with someone a good bit) is sage advice where/when/however we are dealing with other humans. i try to apply it across the board when folks are being unpleasant with me.

But i do see that differently: Online not only are we able to review our own exchanges with people but we often see how they are with others, usually from day one of being acquainted with them whereas a co-worker or new friend out in the world (the designation IRL, in real life, implies not viewing people you meet online as 'real' people so i rarely use it) you might not get to see how they act towards service people, or patterns in who they are 'nice' to and who they dump on for weeks or months.

i have talked to some of my long time cyberfriends on the phone and met some in person---they were the intelligent, reasonable, kind and compassionate i had taken them to be from what i saw online. So i think i can make reasonable conclusions about the less pleasant folks too. And has been said by others--online it can be easier to 'walk away' and avoid them in future online.
 
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