Is Ridicule Just Another Name For Bullying?

Shero said:
Thank you, but that must be a general statement you made? I do not consider myself a navel gazer
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Yes, definitely a general statement about the thread, but I'll confess maybe against myself as well, because I suspect I may be guilty of this sometimes! :)
 

As Grahamg has hinted at, humour and the use of sarcasm are perceived differently in different countries. In Australia some terms that could cause fights in another country are terms of affection. It is easy for an American or a Canadian to misinterpret the posts or emojis used by Brits and Australians and to take offence. We also find different things funny much to the puzzlement of our North American friends. I'm sure the reverse situation also applies. We should all try to keep calm unless directly attacked in unmistakable terms.

I use the thumb up emoji to indicate a good point made and the laughing one if something in it tickled my funny bone. That is all that should be read into them.
 
Warrigal said:
As Grahamg has hinted at, humour and the use of sarcasm are perceived differently in different countries. In Australia some terms that could cause fights in another country are terms of affection. It is easy for an American or a Canadian to misinterpret the posts or emojis used by Brits and Australians and to take offence. We also find different things funny much to the puzzlement of our North American friends. I'm sure the reverse situation also applies. We should all try to keep calm unless directly attacked in unmistakable terms.

I use the thumb up emoji to indicate a good point made and the laughing one if something in it tickled my funny bone. That is all that should be read into them.
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yep totally agree with this Warrigal... we ( Australians and Brits) know that our humour is often based on sarcasm , and very different in many ways to American and or Canadian Humour, and what we find hilarious they can easily mistake for something offensive. I've had that happen to me many times despite using emoticons to show it's a lighthearted post... so I agree it's really prudent to not take offence too quickly online, unless that it's an obvious and blatant personal attack... ( well more so from someone from another culture)...
 

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Recognizable or not there are many very interesting and informative thoughts being put forth in this thread. Thanks. Just my thoughts on ridicule and other negative behaviors: Before I leave this life my goal is to become a collectively better person. I am working on this by trying to learn about and improve myself spiritually. Not only through my own introspection but also through the behavior of other people. I have found that when I recognize what I would call character defects in others it is usually because I own those same character defects myself.

Character defects is a term I use pertaining to myself. I would never venture to inform anyone else about their character defects. That is not my place and for them to decide. I have a hard enough time recognizing and working on my own defects. I can use those recognized character defects as a tool to grow spiritually myself. Understanding and trying to mend my own character defects gives me compassion for others as well. I could spend the rest of my life trying to fix others. I have learned that usually that is a big waist of thought and time. The only person I have any real control over is myself and that is not a given. Progress is all I ask of myself. Otherwise each to his/her own.......

šŸ»
 
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Irwin said:
It was funny because you wrote "As far as covid 19 goes, it hasn't affected my life all that much. Perhaps it has for those who socialize."

As someone not inclined to socialize, I can relate. For me, the pandemic a good excuse for when I'm asked to be sociable, since I do everything I can to avoid people. That may not have been what you meant, but that's how I read it. So I laughed. :)
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Got it! Thank you for your reply. Yes, that is what I meant. I never socialize much and the older I get it's about non-existent. So covid didn't effect me much. Except when the thrift stores were closed.
 
Forums are like getting together in coffee break room except we could see the tone & the faces. Mostly, I learned to ignore the conversations that I didnā€™t find acceptable and I try to do that here too.
 
exwisehe said:
Its difficult to not reply to idiots.
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It's easy if you use the ignore feature.
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As to the OP, I agree with you. There's also a big difference between a discussion and a disagreement. It's the disagreement part that I have come to loathe because as a general rule that's where all the insults and name calling start. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them any less intelligent and any less entitled to their opinion. However, shoving that opinion down someones throat and expecting them to just agree with it is ridiculous. We each have our own beliefs and our own ways of thinking. But this business of coming into a forum and verbally stomping on whomever you disagree with has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Some of the insults and name calling and deliberate goading I've seen on this forum is just sad.

I've been to other forums where the adults can discuss things like adults. They have respect for one another's values and opinions and when they don't, they walk away rather than start a fight and then just keep stoking that fight and having others join in and pile on. If everyone here likes to have other people to visit with which is the basic theme of this forum, then why be hateful and rude and try to hurt their feelings and make them want to leave? What is the purpose of that? Most places I've been to have mods and the minute things go south the mods remove the posts. There's no excuse for being disrespectful. Especially at our age. Some of the trouble makers here make it a very unpleasant place to be. I refuse to put up with it. There are other nice people here I like and enjoy talking to. If the others can't be nice then they will be ignored. I'm getting too old and too tired to put up with that kind of BS anymore.
 
I hate to admit it, but I've been "snarky" a time or two on here. Then I feel terrible about letting a certain person's comments get under my skin and I respond when I should just scroll by. I'm trying to just "move along" when I see a post that's got me shaking my head. I try to remind myself that that particular person doesn't seem to be "quite right" and there's no need for me to comment on what I think of their post.

I'm a work in progress. What more can I say?
 
This is such an important point as social media makes it so much easier for people to bully because they can be anonymous. And ridiculing someone is a form of bullying. It is especially bad on FB where I am a member of several groups for people who have dogs with various medical conditions. Most of these groups are helpful and people are in them because they are concerned about their pet's wellbeing, but there are some where people are really, really nasty. I joined one yesterday morning and left in the evening because the admin was so mean to someone who was just trying to help her dog. I still wonder what has happened to people that they can be so cruel to others.
 
Ridicule is the subjection of someone or something to contemptuous and dismissive language or behaviour. Whilst bullying seeks to harm, intimidate, or coerce, (someone perceived as vulnerable.) There is a difference, but that's the subtlety of the English language.

That intimidating, but oh so, "who me?" When challenged does go on, I could cut and paste the examples aimed at myself, but that would just give the perpetrator exactly what they want. The best way to deal with cyber bullying/intimidation is to switch off, go and do something else, never go back to the thread and don't even be tempted when it's all gone cold.
 
MarciKS said:
It's easy if you use the ignore feature.
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As to the OP, I agree with you. There's also a big difference between a discussion and a disagreement. It's the disagreement part that I have come to loathe because as a general rule that's where all the insults and name calling start. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them any less intelligent and any less entitled to their opinion. However, shoving that opinion down someones throat and expecting them to just agree with it is ridiculous. We each have our own beliefs and our own ways of thinking. But this business of coming into a forum and verbally stomping on whomever you disagree with has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Some of the insults and name calling and deliberate goading I've seen on this forum is just sad.

I've been to other forums where the adults can discuss things like adults. They have respect for one another's values and opinions and when they don't, they walk away rather than start a fight and then just keep stoking that fight and having others join in and pile on. If everyone here likes to have other people to visit with which is the basic theme of this forum, then why be hateful and rude and try to hurt their feelings and make them want to leave? What is the purpose of that? Most places I've been to have mods and the minute things go south the mods remove the posts. There's no excuse for being disrespectful. Especially at our age. Some of the trouble makers here make it a very unpleasant place to be. I refuse to put up with it. There are other nice people here I like and enjoy talking to. If the others can't be nice then they will be ignored. I'm getting too old and too tired to put up with that kind of BS anymore.
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This could not have been written more beautifully! So many wonderful people have left the forum because of this! I's sad!
 
MarciKS said:
It's easy if you use the ignore feature.
_____________________________________
As to the OP, I agree with you. There's also a big difference between a discussion and a disagreement. It's the disagreement part that I have come to loathe because as a general rule that's where all the insults and name calling start. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them any less intelligent and any less entitled to their opinion. However, shoving that opinion down someones throat and expecting them to just agree with it is ridiculous. We each have our own beliefs and our own ways of thinking. But this business of coming into a forum and verbally stomping on whomever you disagree with has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Some of the insults and name calling and deliberate goading I've seen on this forum is just sad.

I've been to other forums where the adults can discuss things like adults. They have respect for one another's values and opinions and when they don't, they walk away rather than start a fight and then just keep stoking that fight and having others join in and pile on. If everyone here likes to have other people to visit with which is the basic theme of this forum, then why be hateful and rude and try to hurt their feelings and make them want to leave? What is the purpose of that? Most places I've been to have mods and the minute things go south the mods remove the posts. There's no excuse for being disrespectful. Especially at our age. Some of the trouble makers here make it a very unpleasant place to be. I refuse to put up with it. There are other nice people here I like and enjoy talking to. If the others can't be nice then they will be ignored. I'm getting too old and too tired to put up with that kind of BS anymore.
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I do think "toleration" is necessary too though, meaning there is a need to put up with a bit of leg pulling, or even something more than that sometimes. When the dust settles you may read something you like said by whoever it was upset you, and you start to feel differently yourself, (anyone can have a bad day after all. :) ).
 
grahamg said:
I do think "toleration" is necessary too though, meaning there is a need to put up with a bit of leg pulling, or even something more than that sometimes. When the dust settles you may read something you like said by whoever it was upset you, and you start to feel differently yourself, (anyone can have a bad day after all. :) ).
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You can tease and send someone up, but if you see a negative reaction, it does no harm to say it wasn't intended to cause distress. Some people are more sensitive to what they perceive as derogatory remarks.
 
If I have a negative opinion of someone here, I just keep it to myself. I don't gain anything by voicing that opinion, nor do they. And there's always the ignore feature.

Life is a series of economic decisions in the form of cost vs. benefit analyses. For example, should I have a drink? What are the costs and what are the benefits to having a drink right now. The benefits will be: I'll be happier and I'll have a bit of fun. But at what cost? Alcohol costs a bit of money, and I might have a headache and feel groggy tomorrow. Hmmm... I think it's worth it. :)

And what about ridiculing someone on the internet? There was a time when I thought it would make me feel good to make someone feel bad, but it doesn't really work. So there's not much of a benefit and not much of a cost. In other words, it's just a waste of time.
 
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I admit to having a low opinion on the ability of many ordinary people to discuss, debate, argue within even the most optimal environments. My college logic teacher easily destroyed during the first week almost everyone else in the class he engaged. In an uncontrolled environment without face to face personal communication as one finds on the Internet, it all becomes worse and is a minefield. Ridicule can be bullying but in a few group circumstances has valid purpose when an individual with a falacious minority position, has already had obviously logical reasons presented against their point but repeatedly stubbornly persists in repeating the same thing as though they either don't have knowledge or common sense to understand counter reasoning or is playing games in their own mind like having the last word just to irritate others.

There are significant numbers of overly emotional people that through most of their upbringing and into adult life that have almost always been surrounded by siblings, parents, schoolmates, friends that are likewise emotional in anything they say. Most that have careers in professional team work environments where group discussions and meetings are common have learned how to communicate in considerate, unemotional, friendly productive ways and those that cannot do so are likely to have a short career.

For example sitting around a lunch table people are casually discussing a most trivial subject like what color shirts to wear to work. What an individual chooses effects no others and most people might at most just chuckle a bit. An overly emotional person may relate they prefer white dress shirts while another person may respond they personally don't like white and prefer blue. The emotional person may respond emotionally just because someone disagreed with them as though they are somehow being attacked while a normal person would just smile and move on. Such persons are also likely to engage in pushing others buttons in order to elicit reactions but are confused when someone responds quietly like Spock. A wise person might be critical of their point but would not ridicule such a person within a group setting but rather take that person aside sometime in the future and try to explain more appropriate behavior. Much more of course than this terse input as there are whole books on the very complex nature of human communication and language.

Our world would be a better place if in high schools students were yearly taught a few communication courses including argumentation fallacies because many ordinary people habitually use such while unaware how what they are communicating is received by others that do. Manipulative news media today targets such people because they don't readily understand what such is.

https://www.lindsey.edu/academics/img/writing-center-pdfs/introduction-fallacies.pdf
 
David777 said:
I admit to having a low opinion on the ability of many ordinary people to discuss, debate, argue within even the most optimal environments. My college logic teacher easily destroyed during the first week almost everyone else in the class he engaged. In an uncontrolled environment without face to face personal communication as one finds on the Internet, it all becomes worse and is a minefield. Ridicule can be bullying but in a few group circumstances has valid purpose when an individual with a falacious minority position, has already had obviously logical reasons presented against their point but repeatedly stubbornly persists in repeating the same thing as though they either don't have knowledge or common sense to understand counter reasoning or is playing games in their own mind like having the last word just to irritate others.

There are significant numbers of overly emotional people that through most of their upbringing and into adult life that have almost always been surrounded by siblings, parents, schoolmates, friends that are likewise emotional in anything they say. Most that have careers in professional team work environments where group discussions and meetings are common have learned how to communicate in considerate, unemotional, friendly productive ways and those that cannot do so are likely to have a short career.

For example sitting around a lunch table people are casually discussing a most trivial subject like what color shirts to wear to work. What an individual chooses effects no others and most people might at most just chuckle a bit. An overly emotional person may relate they prefer white dress shirts while another person may respond they personally don't like white and prefer blue. The emotional person may respond emotionally just because someone disagreed with them as though they are somehow being attacked while a normal person would just smile and move on. Such persons are also likely to engage in pushing others buttons in order to elicit reactions but are confused when someone responds quietly like Spock. A wise person might be critical of their point but would not ridicule such a person within a group setting but rather take that person aside sometime in the future and try to explain more appropriate behavior. Much more of course than this terse input as there are whole books on the very complex nature of human communication and language.

Our world would be a better place if in high schools students were yearly taught a few communication courses including argumentation fallacies because many ordinary people habitually use such while unaware how what they are communicating is received by others that do. Manipulative news media today targets such people because they don't readily understand what such is.

https://www.lindsey.edu/academics/img/writing-center-pdfs/introduction-fallacies.pdf
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Perhaps a social psychology class should be required in all four year degree programs.

I have more to say about your post, but it's time to make dinner. :)
 
David777 said:
I admit to having a low opinion on the ability of many ordinary people to discuss, debate, argue within even the most optimal environments. My college logic teacher easily destroyed during the first week almost everyone else in the class he engaged. In an uncontrolled environment without face to face personal communication as one finds on the Internet, it all becomes worse and is a minefield. Ridicule can be bullying but in a few group circumstances has valid purpose when an individual with a falacious minority position, has already had obviously logical reasons presented against their point but repeatedly stubbornly persists in repeating the same thing as though they either don't have knowledge or common sense to understand counter reasoning or is playing games in their own mind like having the last word just to irritate others.

There are significant numbers of overly emotional people that through most of their upbringing and into adult life that have almost always been surrounded by siblings, parents, schoolmates, friends that are likewise emotional in anything they say. Most that have careers in professional team work environments where group discussions and meetings are common have learned how to communicate in considerate, unemotional, friendly productive ways and those that cannot do so are likely to have a short career.

For example sitting around a lunch table people are casually discussing a most trivial subject like what color shirts to wear to work. What an individual chooses effects no others and most people might at most just chuckle a bit. An overly emotional person may relate they prefer white dress shirts while another person may respond they personally don't like white and prefer blue. The emotional person may respond emotionally just because someone disagreed with them as though they are somehow being attacked while a normal person would just smile and move on. Such persons are also likely to engage in pushing others buttons in order to elicit reactions but are confused when someone responds quietly like Spock. A wise person might be critical of their point but would not ridicule such a person within a group setting but rather take that person aside sometime in the future and try to explain more appropriate behavior. Much more of course than this terse input as there are whole books on the very complex nature of human communication and language.

Our world would be a better place if in high schools students were yearly taught a few communication courses including argumentation fallacies because many ordinary people habitually use such while unaware how what they are communicating is received by others that do. Manipulative news media today targets such people because they don't readily understand what such is.

https://www.lindsey.edu/academics/img/writing-center-pdfs/introduction-fallacies.pdf
Click to expand...
 
Logic is a different subject from Psychology and overly emotional people belong in the latter category. I would never even attempt to engage someone I perceived as being overly emotional in so much as the simplest debate. We often think of them as being thin skinned, but we've no idea what their psyche has been through in the past. Students of logic are usually somewhat prepared to go head to head with almost anyone if only to be proven wrong. This is how we learn to make our case and build syllogisms to reach our goals. I never met an emotionally charged person in my logic classes at all.
 
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