Sometimes facing reality is stressful.

Ruth n Jersey

Well-known Member
Today I got my new drivers license through the mail. Looking at the date it says I must renew it in 4 years.
I came to the realization that this may be my last license.
I will be 80 in four years. My hubby still has his and he is 83 but he drives a lot and seems to be very comfortable behind the wheel and has never had an accident.
I Haven't either but I am a nervous driver and only drive locally
It just gave me a strange feeling.
 

I am still on the younger, healthier side of senior life..at 67. But I do dwell, sometimes, on when the time will come I may have to make that decision to give up driving. I know, NY State DMV offers a non-drivers ID, for identification purposes, so THAT is not the issue. It is just the thought of having to depend on bus services, or others for rides to places. Losing the freedom to hop in the car and go. Several of my fellow seniors in the building do not drive any more, and there are many here who are willing and able to drive them to the store, or whatever.
I guess I am not really sure how I will handle it.
 
I stopped driving at 80yo, now 82, has been sort of a
hassle at times, but figured I was saving lives out there
by no longer driving....
That reminds me of my favourite couple who were on my 'Meals on Wheels' run years ago and will always remember his name – Mr Proudman, He was carer for his wife who had dementia. Well when he failed his 80 plus driving test and lost his licence, he refused to give up and kept driving to the supermarket, (only around 2 kms away), once a week for grocery supplies. So I was shocked and upset when I heard that he had died - he hit a telegraph pole and died on the way to hospital, luckily no other car was involved.

The worrying thing is, I would probably do the same.
 
I never thought I'd be happy not driving but I am. First of all, after my husband passed, I'm sure some of his children/grandchildren would have wanted to use me as their "taxi service" because he was that for them. Next, after my car was totaled, I shocked my husband when I said I wouldn't get another one. I didn't want to bother with a used one and didn't want to spring for a new one either. And too often he commandeered my car and in fact parked in a place I told him not to park and that's when it wound up getting totaled. Timing was great because I had an eye surgery shortly after and due the outcome (not bad, just unexpected) I needed to stop driving. Now if my son or grandson can't "tote" me around, I'm happy taking Ubers and Lyfts, which I mostly just use for doctor appointments. It winds up being waaaaay cheaper than maintaining a car.

Even though I don't drive, I'm keeping my license in case I need to in an emergency situation. I'm sure when your license expires, you'll make the best decision for yourself Ruth. You can always get a State ID (if you don't have a passport and/or passport card).
 
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I don't like driving and I'd live without a car if I could. I get no pleasure from having to deal with idiots and imbeciles on the road — people who seem to have more important things to do than pay attention to the traffic light and just sit there scrolling on their phone screen when the light turns green. Maybe some day, people will get a notification on their frickin' phone when that happens in big letters saying THE LIGHT TURNED GREEN, MORON. GO!

Since I rarely leave the house these days except to get groceries, I could easily do without a car if it was just me, but my wife has places to go and things to do, and I have to take her.
 
I will be 80 February 2023. Right now I have to get my doctor to fill in a form with pertinent details of my health that could affect my ability to drive safely. Once I turn 80 I will also need to have periodic driving tests. If I so choose I can avoid the driving test if I agree to a restricted licence that would allow me to only drive a certain distance from home, in other words no long distance driving allowed.

I am mentally prepared for such an eventuality. I am now clued up for online shopping, I have an electric mobility scooter and have learnt to navigate the best and safest routes close to home including to the railway station and am prepared to take taxis and/or public transport should I need to. I am on the books for the community bus service and used them when I needed to attend out patient physiotherapy sessions after joint operations. Cheaper than taking a taxi but you have to fit in with their timing. I don't consider that too inconvenient because one thing I have these days is lots of time.

I measure my driving competence by the number of times I get shouted at by other drivers. So far all is good in that department. I'm thinking that our current car is probably our last. If it is involved in an accident and is written off the insurance people I would be happy to do without from then on.
 
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Is there a certain age they take away the driver's license or just if you fail the medical , hearing and eye tests at the license renewal?
Anybody know?
There's a certain age when the DMV starts requiring a vision test when you renew, and it varies from state to state. In some states, when you're at fault in a major accident at a certain age (80+, in most states) the DMV will take your license and it's really hard to get it back.
 
I had to quit driving about ten years ago because of my vision issues. I have to rely on others for rides to the doctor and the grocery store. Because I do not drive I do not know anybody in my area. Before Covid there was a county public transpo but they have been closed down now for close to two years. My DIL comes by about twice a month and takes me where I need to go which is a blessing but I have to coordinate everything to get what needs to be done on those days.

I have always been an independent person and for me to have to rely on others for transportation is not an easy task but hey I get what I need so I really cannot complain. The biggest draw back is I would like to go to the Senior Citizens Center on occasion for some conversation and companionship but that is not going to happen until the county vans start running again. That is one of the reasons I joined this forum. You guys being here has helped me tremendously. Thanks.
 
I don't drive anymore and I have been fine. My "grand" takes me if I need to go to the doctor. The traffic here is horrible and every day there are at least 3 car rage shootings for minor things you do when driving. I was always respectful when driving, even not taking my turn at 4 way stops when drivers don't respect your turn. I just let them go instead of running into them. With great free grocery delivery and my "grand's" help I am fine.
 
My father drove right up to the day he had a stroke at age 93. He was driving a lot and in fact, that was the only question he asked the doctor when the time came to put in a feeding tube or not. The doctor said no to his question of whether he could still drive a car. That was it for him.

I did not want a car when I moved here due to the expense but I have not regretted it one bit. I still have a license so I can drive a car but have not in at least two years. That is why I moved into a downtown apartment. Many ways to get places here. I don't think it is losing your independence if you take other methods of transportation. If you find ways to get places on your own, you are still independent. At least in my opinion.
 
I'm a total worrier but try not to worry about it too much. Hopefully if you can't drive some day in the (hopefully) distant future, you have the door to door van for disabled and seniors in your area. We do and it's much cheaper than a taxi or car service. Also I think food delivery from grocery stores may not go away.

I too hope I can drive for years but if I can't someday, I'll utilize the above and online shopping.
 
To be honest, I thought I would hate it........living downtown in a city, no car, living in an apartment, heck I was living off the grid, very secluded with no neighbors. I was sure I would hate it. But I am surprised how quickly I adapted to it. Gas has gone up here and I remember how sometimes I could not go anywhere because we had no gas money and had to wait for my husband's check to be deposited. I know it was the right thing for me to do.
 
Is there a certain age they take away the driver's license or just if you fail the medical , hearing and eye tests at the license renewal?
Anybody know?
I'm not sure, @Gaer. But, my uncle is 93 and still driving. I don't think he's been asked to stop driving. I've been wanting to go see him but haven't made the attempt. He's a cutie and never forgets his nephews and nieces.

I spent many summers and vacations with him and his wife and will never forget his driving. 😳 :eek: There were times when I didn't even feel the road underneath their car. He drove that fast. I felt like I was in a 'Jetson' vehicle.
 

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