@WheatenLover, I'm having difficulty understanding your situation with your son. He stole your money but will give some/all back if you can prove your expenses? Did I miss part of this story?
No, you didn't miss anything. My mother died. Son #3 inherited the money I was to get, because my Mom and I trusted him more than anyone, period. We weren't alone; everyone trusts that son. He inherited it because my mom wanted to protect it from my husband. She wanted me to use it to buy a house in another state to get away from my husband.
Then I got cancer, and moved to a house I am renting from a friend. My kids moved with me, although they were just supposed to be visiting for Christmas. Son #1 quit taking his meds for bipolar disorder and embarked on a spree of being very verbally abusive. Finally, he got so mad, he left in March. I was a lot sicker then, as I was still going through chemo. A month before he became a different person, not being on meds any more, I gave him $6K to return to college. He attended online for a few weeks and then dropped out, past the getting a refund date, because he was too mentally ill. I was very supportive and understanding about that. Now I wonder what if he really used that money for college. Because I was not paying his hotel bills and living expenses after he left, and Son #3 did not control the money.
Son #3 moved into the hotel with Son #1, asked me for the password to the bank account, so that he could learn to manage money. I gave it to him. A minute later, he had changed the password. Before that, he had a debit card and all of his expenses were paid. We had no beef with one another. I think Son #3 moved out to take care of Son #1, but I don't know.
At that point, none of my 3 sons were talking with me. Son #1 said I was a horrible person. Son #2 said I was an opioid addict (I don't take opioids) and told his brothers they would all be dead in 3 years because they had fetal alcohol syndrome because I was an alcoholic. Mind you, I hadn't had an alcoholic beverage for over 20 years, dating from 5 years before I gave birth to the boys. Son #3 believed them. Son #1 has since decided the boys don't have fetal alcohol syndrome, without explanation to his brothers.
Son #3, before he stopped talking to me, said he would pay my reasonable expenses. Then when I asked for money to pay a water bill, he ignored the request. That was early April. I had to use credit cards to pay the bills.
When Son #3 moved to California sometime this past summer, he called me to let me know he would talk to me once he had moved. About a month later, he did, and reiterated that he would pay my bills. I have been very nice to him because of that, despite my anger and feelings of betrayal.
So now I am making a spreadsheet for all of those credit card bills, so I can pay them off. I was way too sick to do that before now. My social security is less than my rent. I have to hurry up and do this so he doesn't spend all the money on Son #1.
Son #2 talked to me about 6 months after he moved to California. He said he didn't move because I was a horrible person, but because he wanted to live with his boyfriend. Now he is not talking to me again because he is back on the opioid addiction accusation. He will talk to me again once I undergo drug treatment. He is extremely mentally ill with treatment-resistant depression. He also says he caught me trying to steal some of his prescription drugs. I did not ever even see the pill bottles. I cannot fathom why the boys are making stuff up about me, except to justify their actions I refuse to admit to things I have not done, and I do not have dementia. They say I am gaslighting them.
Son #1 will likely never talk to me again. As long as he is so verbally abusive, and throws things, and throws my stuff away, that is fine with me. I am kind of afraid of Son #1, also severely mentally ill. He moved to California a few months ago to be with Son #3. Son #3 is living with a friend's grandmother. Son #1 cannot live there because Son #2 thinks he is too abusive. Son #2 is right; one never knows when Son #1 will go into a screaming fit, or when it will end.
My daughter and I are worried because we know Son #1 and think he is manipulating Son #3. #1 told #3 that #3 has to support him, otherwise he will be homeless. He won't be, because Son #1 likes a fur-lined foxhole. But Son #3 cannot bear the thought of #1 being homeless, so he pays his bills. Son #1 is very manipulative. Right now, those two are looking for an apartment to share, although #3 doesn't want to because #1 is so verbally abusive. Son #1 thinks I owe the boys reparations, so the money is theirs.
Basically, Son #1 is after the money. Son #2 had dental work done, which I was going to pay for, but #3 did it instead. Son #2 doesn't seem to be after anything. Son #3 told me he knows nothing about managing or investing money, and has bitten off more than he can chew. He won't tell me how much is left or let me help him with this in any way.
If my mom were alive, she would be horrified.I've told two friends and my husband about this, and they know my sons well, and they are horrified too. No one would have anticipated this from Son #3, who has always been a person of integrity. Son #3 is autistic and I wonder if that makes him especially vulnerable to manipulation by his triplet brothers.
I have to think about this since I have to maintain a relationship with Son #3. At any time, he could have asked for the password so I could teach him about money management and investing, and I would have gladly done so. Because I am an idiot for trusting my children. Now I don't trust any of them, including my daughter, but she doesn't know that. I know at first, all 4 kids were talking and she believed what my sons said, no matter that she knows me well, and should have believed me. She believed me after a few months.
I still cannot quite wrap my head around why this has happened, but I decided it doesn't matter. It happened and I am moving forward. It also puzzles me how this happened after I got cancer. I thought they would be supportive, but they were the opposite, all along. Maybe they hoped I would die. I have triple negative breast cancer, which is in remission. My chances were not good of the treatment being successful, because of the cancer type, the stage (late stage 3), and the fact that I don't fit the usual pattern of people who get it. About 15% of the people who get it have none of the characteristics of those who usually get it. It was totally random, so I don't waste any time wondering why me.
In fact, the odds were so dismal that I only went through treatment because my children wanted me to. That, at least, has turned out as well as possible since I am in remission. I'm just glad I don't have to live with several severely mentally ill people any more. It was very hard on all of us - them because they are so ill, and me because it is hard to deal with. I am much happier now since the day-to-day stress of living with all the problems mental illness can cause is no longer present in my life.
. It woke me up and I can not sleep. Same symptoms I’ve been having all dang month.
I think I’ll get the nitro out-just in case. But I hate to take that as well. 
. My doctor is downtown-lovely. Winds at 26 mph and severe storm warnings.
. Amazing what happens when someone besides a parents complains.
...you've gone through Hell by the sounds of it with regard the way you've been treated and your rare cancer.....and still going through it all by being dependant on someone else for your own money
