What are you doing today?

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There are many stores- Target, dollar stores, etc.- that have colorful, decorative boxes and bags that can be used instead of wrapping paper.
Problem is I've got so much wrapping paper stored in the armoire from years of need that I really feel they should be used up before I just take the easy way, if you know what I mean...of course there are always those hard to wrap sizes or the soft stuff that could use a big colorful plastic bag or gifty bag...lol.

Calling it a controlled discipline experience to "wrap it up".
 
Well, it rained last night, much to my surprise.
I was going to rake some leaves for the trash pick up tmrw, but not so sure now.

So, I'll be inside tiding up the kitchen, putting some clothes away, making a couple of phone calls...nothing too strenuous. I should prob bring in some of my Christmas decorations.......🤶
 
Well so far today I have been screaming for an hour and none of you nice people in here have called to ask me why I'm screaming! Of course, no one has my phone number.LOL I woke up and called to check on an appointment I had with a new Doctor for Dec.20th. She said I'm sorry but we gave you the wrong date. The appt is on the 28th. I told her the paperwork they sent me to fill out said the 20th. She laughed and said it must have been a mistake. After I hung up with her I was reading about food and drink recalls. So I checked my refrigerator and whoopie I have 3 products that were on the list. And none of you sweet people called when you heard me scream.LOL
 
So glad it's raining in California but one thing I'm not doing today is going over to feed the small feral colony at my work place. I'll have to wait for a break in the weather and go over then. Luckily before work yesterday, it wasn't raining and I was able to feed them.

I know they will survive, they have good weights on them, but I still worry about them and feel bad. But it's no use going over in the rain. And it's windy.
 
I am going to finish figuring out what my son owes me. He took all my money, but he will reimburse me for my needs if he approves them. This was an event that happened out of pure greed, not because I need help or didn't spend significant amounts of money helping my kids.

The laundry room/pantry needs cleaning, and all my daughter's baskets of clean laundry moved out so I can maneuver in there The dog is still sleeping. My daughter trained him to wake up at 8 a.m. when she cheerfully says "good morning". I didn't just fall off a turnip truck, so I don't do that because it isn't necessary.

I have other things on my list, but it is 50/50 whether I will get to them. My ability to judge what I can get done in a given day has always been poor. I always think I can do everything I planned, but I can't. So there is probably a 25% chance I will do them.
It sounds like you need a spirit lifter.....
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Just a quiet day. I went to the gym and then my electrician came to replace burnt out Malibu Lights and our front porch light that is 2 stories high. He was there for 2 1/2 hours, so I watched episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm and laughed my ass off.

I can't believe how much money it takes to maintain a house, but everything is working now!
 
so I watched episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm
We watched one episode tonight. Years ago we watched and just resumed again on Season 7. Needed something light after the final episode of Succession.

Had two walks today. Anything in the shade is hazardous, too much ice that hasn’t disappeared. In between those it was just the standard walks.

Forgot to mention the amazing lifelike deer we saw in the Christmas display of a nice restaurant. Just as I commented, they started walking.
 
I am not feeling well. The new heart med helped, but I only took it for three days. It gave me a severe on going migraine, a common side effect of the med, and I literally could not think. I see my PM doc today and will talked to her about it, hopefully.

Its my Medicare wellness check. She likes to “get through” so she may not discuss it. Meanwhile, now my chest hurts, lots of pressure, and a bit hard to breathe. ☹️. It woke me up and I can not sleep. Same symptoms I’ve been having all dang month.

😂 I think I’ll get the nitro out-just in case. But I hate to take that as well. ☹️It’s cold. We’ve had snow. Supposed to have snow heavily tomorrow into Wednesday. Of course 🤦🏻‍♀️. My doctor is downtown-lovely. Winds at 26 mph and severe storm warnings.

The sheltered workshop reported the neglect of Joey to Adult Protective Services (at my request) as they called me to tell me of issues. After that, Joey saw a new group home that afternoon and he is moving into that group home today. 😊. Amazing what happens when someone besides a parents complains.

We went to get his food out of his freezer and the freezer had been unplugged again and over a 100 dollars worth of food had to be thrown away. Plus, someone (and I’m sure I know who) tried to BURN the lock off his freezer. This individual could have burned the house down! So glad to have him moved.
 
@WheatenLover, I'm having difficulty understanding your situation with your son. He stole your money but will give some/all back if you can prove your expenses? Did I miss part of this story?
No, you didn't miss anything. My mother died. Son #3 inherited the money I was to get, because my Mom and I trusted him more than anyone, period. We weren't alone; everyone trusts that son. He inherited it because my mom wanted to protect it from my husband. She wanted me to use it to buy a house in another state to get away from my husband.

Then I got cancer, and moved to a house I am renting from a friend. My kids moved with me, although they were just supposed to be visiting for Christmas. Son #1 quit taking his meds for bipolar disorder and embarked on a spree of being very verbally abusive. Finally, he got so mad, he left in March. I was a lot sicker then, as I was still going through chemo. A month before he became a different person, not being on meds any more, I gave him $6K to return to college. He attended online for a few weeks and then dropped out, past the getting a refund date, because he was too mentally ill. I was very supportive and understanding about that. Now I wonder what if he really used that money for college. Because I was not paying his hotel bills and living expenses after he left, and Son #3 did not control the money.

Son #3 moved into the hotel with Son #1, asked me for the password to the bank account, so that he could learn to manage money. I gave it to him. A minute later, he had changed the password. Before that, he had a debit card and all of his expenses were paid. We had no beef with one another. I think Son #3 moved out to take care of Son #1, but I don't know.

At that point, none of my 3 sons were talking with me. Son #1 said I was a horrible person. Son #2 said I was an opioid addict (I don't take opioids) and told his brothers they would all be dead in 3 years because they had fetal alcohol syndrome because I was an alcoholic. Mind you, I hadn't had an alcoholic beverage for over 20 years, dating from 5 years before I gave birth to the boys. Son #3 believed them. Son #1 has since decided the boys don't have fetal alcohol syndrome, without explanation to his brothers.

Son #3, before he stopped talking to me, said he would pay my reasonable expenses. Then when I asked for money to pay a water bill, he ignored the request. That was early April. I had to use credit cards to pay the bills.

When Son #3 moved to California sometime this past summer, he called me to let me know he would talk to me once he had moved. About a month later, he did, and reiterated that he would pay my bills. I have been very nice to him because of that, despite my anger and feelings of betrayal.

So now I am making a spreadsheet for all of those credit card bills, so I can pay them off. I was way too sick to do that before now. My social security is less than my rent. I have to hurry up and do this so he doesn't spend all the money on Son #1.

Son #2 talked to me about 6 months after he moved to California. He said he didn't move because I was a horrible person, but because he wanted to live with his boyfriend. Now he is not talking to me again because he is back on the opioid addiction accusation. He will talk to me again once I undergo drug treatment. He is extremely mentally ill with treatment-resistant depression. He also says he caught me trying to steal some of his prescription drugs. I did not ever even see the pill bottles. I cannot fathom why the boys are making stuff up about me, except to justify their actions I refuse to admit to things I have not done, and I do not have dementia. They say I am gaslighting them.

Son #1 will likely never talk to me again. As long as he is so verbally abusive, and throws things, and throws my stuff away, that is fine with me. I am kind of afraid of Son #1, also severely mentally ill. He moved to California a few months ago to be with Son #3. Son #3 is living with a friend's grandmother. Son #1 cannot live there because Son #2 thinks he is too abusive. Son #2 is right; one never knows when Son #1 will go into a screaming fit, or when it will end.

My daughter and I are worried because we know Son #1 and think he is manipulating Son #3. #1 told #3 that #3 has to support him, otherwise he will be homeless. He won't be, because Son #1 likes a fur-lined foxhole. But Son #3 cannot bear the thought of #1 being homeless, so he pays his bills. Son #1 is very manipulative. Right now, those two are looking for an apartment to share, although #3 doesn't want to because #1 is so verbally abusive. Son #1 thinks I owe the boys reparations, so the money is theirs.

Basically, Son #1 is after the money. Son #2 had dental work done, which I was going to pay for, but #3 did it instead. Son #2 doesn't seem to be after anything. Son #3 told me he knows nothing about managing or investing money, and has bitten off more than he can chew. He won't tell me how much is left or let me help him with this in any way.

If my mom were alive, she would be horrified.I've told two friends and my husband about this, and they know my sons well, and they are horrified too. No one would have anticipated this from Son #3, who has always been a person of integrity. Son #3 is autistic and I wonder if that makes him especially vulnerable to manipulation by his triplet brothers.

I have to think about this since I have to maintain a relationship with Son #3. At any time, he could have asked for the password so I could teach him about money management and investing, and I would have gladly done so. Because I am an idiot for trusting my children. Now I don't trust any of them, including my daughter, but she doesn't know that. I know at first, all 4 kids were talking and she believed what my sons said, no matter that she knows me well, and should have believed me. She believed me after a few months.

I still cannot quite wrap my head around why this has happened, but I decided it doesn't matter. It happened and I am moving forward. It also puzzles me how this happened after I got cancer. I thought they would be supportive, but they were the opposite, all along. Maybe they hoped I would die. I have triple negative breast cancer, which is in remission. My chances were not good of the treatment being successful, because of the cancer type, the stage (late stage 3), and the fact that I don't fit the usual pattern of people who get it. About 15% of the people who get it have none of the characteristics of those who usually get it. It was totally random, so I don't waste any time wondering why me.

In fact, the odds were so dismal that I only went through treatment because my children wanted me to. That, at least, has turned out as well as possible since I am in remission. I'm just glad I don't have to live with several severely mentally ill people any more. It was very hard on all of us - them because they are so ill, and me because it is hard to deal with. I am much happier now since the day-to-day stress of living with all the problems mental illness can cause is no longer present in my life.
 
No, you didn't miss anything. My mother died. Son #3 inherited the money I was to get, because my Mom and I trusted him more than anyone, period. We weren't alone; everyone trusts that son. He inherited it because my mom wanted to protect it from my husband. She wanted me to use it to buy a house in another state to get away from my husband.

Then I got cancer, and moved to a house I am renting from a friend. My kids moved with me, although they were just supposed to be visiting for Christmas. Son #1 quit taking his meds for bipolar disorder and embarked on a spree of being very verbally abusive. Finally, he got so mad, he left in March. I was a lot sicker then, as I was still going through chemo. A month before he became a different person, not being on meds any more, I gave him $6K to return to college. He attended online for a few weeks and then dropped out, past the getting a refund date, because he was too mentally ill. I was very supportive and understanding about that. Now I wonder what if he really used that money for college. Because I was not paying his hotel bills and living expenses after he left, and Son #3 did not control the money.

Son #3 moved into the hotel with Son #1, asked me for the password to the bank account, so that he could learn to manage money. I gave it to him. A minute later, he had changed the password. Before that, he had a debit card and all of his expenses were paid. We had no beef with one another. I think Son #3 moved out to take care of Son #1, but I don't know.

At that point, none of my 3 sons were talking with me. Son #1 said I was a horrible person. Son #2 said I was an opioid addict (I don't take opioids) and told his brothers they would all be dead in 3 years because they had fetal alcohol syndrome because I was an alcoholic. Mind you, I hadn't had an alcoholic beverage for over 20 years, dating from 5 years before I gave birth to the boys. Son #3 believed them. Son #1 has since decided the boys don't have fetal alcohol syndrome, without explanation to his brothers.

Son #3, before he stopped talking to me, said he would pay my reasonable expenses. Then when I asked for money to pay a water bill, he ignored the request. That was early April. I had to use credit cards to pay the bills.

When Son #3 moved to California sometime this past summer, he called me to let me know he would talk to me once he had moved. About a month later, he did, and reiterated that he would pay my bills. I have been very nice to him because of that, despite my anger and feelings of betrayal.

So now I am making a spreadsheet for all of those credit card bills, so I can pay them off. I was way too sick to do that before now. My social security is less than my rent. I have to hurry up and do this so he doesn't spend all the money on Son #1.

Son #2 talked to me about 6 months after he moved to California. He said he didn't move because I was a horrible person, but because he wanted to live with his boyfriend. Now he is not talking to me again because he is back on the opioid addiction accusation. He will talk to me again once I undergo drug treatment. He is extremely mentally ill with treatment-resistant depression. He also says he caught me trying to steal some of his prescription drugs. I did not ever even see the pill bottles. I cannot fathom why the boys are making stuff up about me, except to justify their actions I refuse to admit to things I have not done, and I do not have dementia. They say I am gaslighting them.

Son #1 will likely never talk to me again. As long as he is so verbally abusive, and throws things, and throws my stuff away, that is fine with me. I am kind of afraid of Son #1, also severely mentally ill. He moved to California a few months ago to be with Son #3. Son #3 is living with a friend's grandmother. Son #1 cannot live there because Son #2 thinks he is too abusive. Son #2 is right; one never knows when Son #1 will go into a screaming fit, or when it will end.

My daughter and I are worried because we know Son #1 and think he is manipulating Son #3. #1 told #3 that #3 has to support him, otherwise he will be homeless. He won't be, because Son #1 likes a fur-lined foxhole. But Son #3 cannot bear the thought of #1 being homeless, so he pays his bills. Son #1 is very manipulative. Right now, those two are looking for an apartment to share, although #3 doesn't want to because #1 is so verbally abusive. Son #1 thinks I owe the boys reparations, so the money is theirs.

Basically, Son #1 is after the money. Son #2 had dental work done, which I was going to pay for, but #3 did it instead. Son #2 doesn't seem to be after anything. Son #3 told me he knows nothing about managing or investing money, and has bitten off more than he can chew. He won't tell me how much is left or let me help him with this in any way.

If my mom were alive, she would be horrified.I've told two friends and my husband about this, and they know my sons well, and they are horrified too. No one would have anticipated this from Son #3, who has always been a person of integrity. Son #3 is autistic and I wonder if that makes him especially vulnerable to manipulation by his triplet brothers.

I have to think about this since I have to maintain a relationship with Son #3. At any time, he could have asked for the password so I could teach him about money management and investing, and I would have gladly done so. Because I am an idiot for trusting my children. Now I don't trust any of them, including my daughter, but she doesn't know that. I know at first, all 4 kids were talking and she believed what my sons said, no matter that she knows me well, and should have believed me. She believed me after a few months.

I still cannot quite wrap my head around why this has happened, but I decided it doesn't matter. It happened and I am moving forward. It also puzzles me how this happened after I got cancer. I thought they would be supportive, but they were the opposite, all along. Maybe they hoped I would die. I have triple negative breast cancer, which is in remission. My chances were not good of the treatment being successful, because of the cancer type, the stage (late stage 3), and the fact that I don't fit the usual pattern of people who get it. About 15% of the people who get it have none of the characteristics of those who usually get it. It was totally random, so I don't waste any time wondering why me.

In fact, the odds were so dismal that I only went through treatment because my children wanted me to. That, at least, has turned out as well as possible since I am in remission. I'm just glad I don't have to live with several severely mentally ill people any more. It was very hard on all of us - them because they are so ill, and me because it is hard to deal with. I am much happier now since the day-to-day stress of living with all the problems mental illness can cause is no longer present in my life.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around this much sadness, negativity, anger, and confusion.

The first thing that came to mind is that cancer feeds on stress. You don't need it, at any time, but mostly now!!!

Is there anything that a lawyer might be able to do? I don't know.

My heart goes out to you for all of the pain in your life. 💔
 
@WheatenLover, I'm having difficulty understanding your situation with your son. He stole your money but will give some/all back if you can prove your expenses? Did I miss part of this story?
No you did not. He knew he was taking the money, what it was for, etc. Maybe he feels somewhat responsible since there is no way I can live on less money than my rent.

I don't know how truthful he is being. He told me when he started talking to me again that he was thinking of dividing the money up among my children.

This story sounds unbelievable to me, but it is not.

Once, I was an active poster on a forum for 11 years. I told them, over the course of 3 months, what was happening in my life. It was brief, not long-winded as I am here. I thought I was well-known and respected until a lot of people didn't believe me. They said too many bad things had happened in too short a period of time. These weren't my friends at this forums, just regular participants I hadn't formed friendships with.

What happened was, I had a heart attack. We had to put my beloved collie down because he had lymphoma. My husband had several strokes. My cardiologist diagnosed why I had been barely able to walk for years -- not bursitis, like my doctor in Boston had told me -- peripheral artery disease. My son was admitted to the psych ward at a hospital 2 hours drive from us, for 12 days.

I didn't tell this story here because I was worried people wouldn't believe me or would think I somehow caused this to happen.

My mom had decided to put the money in a trust for me but she was way too sick in her last to weeks of life to sign the papers. I realized after she died that she had made a massive effort not to let my sister and I know how sick she was, until she couldn't do it any more. She didn't want us to worry about her, even though we did, and even though I told her I would support whatever she decided to do about cancer treatment, including a no-treatment option. She chose the no treatment option without saying a word about it. She simply said she was scheduled for various treatments, which was not true. She was way too sick for treatment to have done her any good whatsoever.
 
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@WheatenLover, this is such a sad, sad story. I'm so sorry that you've lost your faith in all your children and your relationship with most of them, as well as your inheritance, plus your health. Not even sure what order to put those in. Suffice it to say that life has really piled on the past few years, hasn't it? I absolutely believe that you're being forthright about this.

A dear friend's daughter is on the spectrum - not highly functional - and is vulnerable to suggestion, to fears, and to her sympathy being played on. It sounds like your #3 son is also vulnerable in those ways even though he has more abilities than Beth.

Yours is a cautionary tale. While many of us have excellent relationships with our children and trust them, giving anyone keys to our kingdoms, i.e., access to our financial assets/ is extremely dangerous.

Toward the end of my mother's life DH and helped her manage her finances. Ditto my father-in-law. Both were suffering from cognitive erosion and asked for help because managing bills was starting to befuddle them. We advised our siblings and made sure our parents' finances were an open book that they were welcome to look into at any time.

What will you do if your son refuses to pay your bills or runs out of money?
I'm greatly hoping you have a plan B if he cuts you off.

Again, I'm so very sorry that you've had so many crushing heartaches in such a short period of time.
 
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No, you didn't miss anything. My mother died. Son #3 inherited the money I was to get, because my Mom and I trusted him more than anyone, period. We weren't alone; everyone trusts that son. He inherited it because my mom wanted to protect it from my husband. She wanted me to use it to buy a house in another state to get away from my husband.

Then I got cancer, and moved to a house I am renting from a friend. My kids moved with me, although they were just supposed to be visiting for Christmas. Son #1 quit taking his meds for bipolar disorder and embarked on a spree of being very verbally abusive. Finally, he got so mad, he left in March. I was a lot sicker then, as I was still going through chemo. A month before he became a different person, not being on meds any more, I gave him $6K to return to college. He attended online for a few weeks and then dropped out, past the getting a refund date, because he was too mentally ill. I was very supportive and understanding about that. Now I wonder what if he really used that money for college. Because I was not paying his hotel bills and living expenses after he left, and Son #3 did not control the money.

Son #3 moved into the hotel with Son #1, asked me for the password to the bank account, so that he could learn to manage money. I gave it to him. A minute later, he had changed the password. Before that, he had a debit card and all of his expenses were paid. We had no beef with one another. I think Son #3 moved out to take care of Son #1, but I don't know.

At that point, none of my 3 sons were talking with me. Son #1 said I was a horrible person. Son #2 said I was an opioid addict (I don't take opioids) and told his brothers they would all be dead in 3 years because they had fetal alcohol syndrome because I was an alcoholic. Mind you, I hadn't had an alcoholic beverage for over 20 years, dating from 5 years before I gave birth to the boys. Son #3 believed them. Son #1 has since decided the boys don't have fetal alcohol syndrome, without explanation to his brothers.

Son #3, before he stopped talking to me, said he would pay my reasonable expenses. Then when I asked for money to pay a water bill, he ignored the request. That was early April. I had to use credit cards to pay the bills.

When Son #3 moved to California sometime this past summer, he called me to let me know he would talk to me once he had moved. About a month later, he did, and reiterated that he would pay my bills. I have been very nice to him because of that, despite my anger and feelings of betrayal.

So now I am making a spreadsheet for all of those credit card bills, so I can pay them off. I was way too sick to do that before now. My social security is less than my rent. I have to hurry up and do this so he doesn't spend all the money on Son #1.

Son #2 talked to me about 6 months after he moved to California. He said he didn't move because I was a horrible person, but because he wanted to live with his boyfriend. Now he is not talking to me again because he is back on the opioid addiction accusation. He will talk to me again once I undergo drug treatment. He is extremely mentally ill with treatment-resistant depression. He also says he caught me trying to steal some of his prescription drugs. I did not ever even see the pill bottles. I cannot fathom why the boys are making stuff up about me, except to justify their actions I refuse to admit to things I have not done, and I do not have dementia. They say I am gaslighting them.

Son #1 will likely never talk to me again. As long as he is so verbally abusive, and throws things, and throws my stuff away, that is fine with me. I am kind of afraid of Son #1, also severely mentally ill. He moved to California a few months ago to be with Son #3. Son #3 is living with a friend's grandmother. Son #1 cannot live there because Son #2 thinks he is too abusive. Son #2 is right; one never knows when Son #1 will go into a screaming fit, or when it will end.

My daughter and I are worried because we know Son #1 and think he is manipulating Son #3. #1 told #3 that #3 has to support him, otherwise he will be homeless. He won't be, because Son #1 likes a fur-lined foxhole. But Son #3 cannot bear the thought of #1 being homeless, so he pays his bills. Son #1 is very manipulative. Right now, those two are looking for an apartment to share, although #3 doesn't want to because #1 is so verbally abusive. Son #1 thinks I owe the boys reparations, so the money is theirs.

Basically, Son #1 is after the money. Son #2 had dental work done, which I was going to pay for, but #3 did it instead. Son #2 doesn't seem to be after anything. Son #3 told me he knows nothing about managing or investing money, and has bitten off more than he can chew. He won't tell me how much is left or let me help him with this in any way.

If my mom were alive, she would be horrified.I've told two friends and my husband about this, and they know my sons well, and they are horrified too. No one would have anticipated this from Son #3, who has always been a person of integrity. Son #3 is autistic and I wonder if that makes him especially vulnerable to manipulation by his triplet brothers.

I have to think about this since I have to maintain a relationship with Son #3. At any time, he could have asked for the password so I could teach him about money management and investing, and I would have gladly done so. Because I am an idiot for trusting my children. Now I don't trust any of them, including my daughter, but she doesn't know that. I know at first, all 4 kids were talking and she believed what my sons said, no matter that she knows me well, and should have believed me. She believed me after a few months.

I still cannot quite wrap my head around why this has happened, but I decided it doesn't matter. It happened and I am moving forward. It also puzzles me how this happened after I got cancer. I thought they would be supportive, but they were the opposite, all along. Maybe they hoped I would die. I have triple negative breast cancer, which is in remission. My chances were not good of the treatment being successful, because of the cancer type, the stage (late stage 3), and the fact that I don't fit the usual pattern of people who get it. About 15% of the people who get it have none of the characteristics of those who usually get it. It was totally random, so I don't waste any time wondering why me.

In fact, the odds were so dismal that I only went through treatment because my children wanted me to. That, at least, has turned out as well as possible since I am in remission. I'm just glad I don't have to live with several severely mentally ill people any more. It was very hard on all of us - them because they are so ill, and me because it is hard to deal with. I am much happier now since the day-to-day stress of living with all the problems mental illness can cause is no longer present in my life.
My God..☹️. this is such a horribly sad and tragic story... thank you for trusting us with it, I wish there was something I could do to help ..🤗...you've gone through Hell by the sounds of it with regard the way you've been treated and your rare cancer.....and still going through it all by being dependant on someone else for your own money

I was just a little confused by one thing you wrote, which I've bolded above... ''triplet brothers ''?
 

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