Seeincolors
New Member
13 years ago I, for all practical purposes “died” when my husband of 35 years moved out. I thought he was going through a midlife crisis and would come back when he realized he wasn’t any happier alone. Instead, 6 months later he told me he was ready to make the split permanent and filed for emergency divorce. On Friday I was served papers and ordered to be in court on Monday and walked out of there divorced, with no longer the love of my life or my identity or my friends.
He had been showing all the “signs” of having an affair but vehemently denied it. I even begged my “friends” to tell me if they knew anything, and they all denied it. But they stopped calling or visiting. 2 years later he built a mansion for his girlfriend (whom he was seeing all along) on the property where we had always talked about building.
We have 3 grown children who do their best to spend time with each of us. I have met his “whore” once, at my granddaughter's high school graduation. I was civil, but that’s it.
There are so many reminders of him in this small town. He is a builder and built practically the whole town. I have developed a genuine fear of going anywhere, because I’m sick of hearing “Oh, I haven’t seen you for so long! What have you been doing with yourself?” I never know what to say- my phone number hasn’t changed, nor has my address. I have literally said to them I miss my friends, we should get together! But no calls and no visits. But I see they go out with ex and whore. I can’t offer them anything. He can do business with them.
I have vision loss and must rely on family to drive me anywhere. Lately I’ve had lots of health issues so mostly where they take me to is this or that doctor or surgery or eye injections.
I guess I’m sounding off and having a putty party, but for a long time now I can’t figure out why I’m even still alive. I guess loneliness does that to you? My kids are getting burned out by me, I feel. What makes it worse is that none of them are on the same page with me, politically, so we can’t really talk about anything. I’m 72 and feel like an expendable. Any enlightenment for me?
He had been showing all the “signs” of having an affair but vehemently denied it. I even begged my “friends” to tell me if they knew anything, and they all denied it. But they stopped calling or visiting. 2 years later he built a mansion for his girlfriend (whom he was seeing all along) on the property where we had always talked about building.
We have 3 grown children who do their best to spend time with each of us. I have met his “whore” once, at my granddaughter's high school graduation. I was civil, but that’s it.
There are so many reminders of him in this small town. He is a builder and built practically the whole town. I have developed a genuine fear of going anywhere, because I’m sick of hearing “Oh, I haven’t seen you for so long! What have you been doing with yourself?” I never know what to say- my phone number hasn’t changed, nor has my address. I have literally said to them I miss my friends, we should get together! But no calls and no visits. But I see they go out with ex and whore. I can’t offer them anything. He can do business with them.
I have vision loss and must rely on family to drive me anywhere. Lately I’ve had lots of health issues so mostly where they take me to is this or that doctor or surgery or eye injections.
I guess I’m sounding off and having a putty party, but for a long time now I can’t figure out why I’m even still alive. I guess loneliness does that to you? My kids are getting burned out by me, I feel. What makes it worse is that none of them are on the same page with me, politically, so we can’t really talk about anything. I’m 72 and feel like an expendable. Any enlightenment for me?