Living Alone Should Be Temporary ONLY

RFW said:
There is a kind of sentiment I keep hearing from some people that a woman doing feminine things for a man is bad
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So............cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry is "feminine?" Is your vocabulary so small? Being traditionally tied to women does not make it feminine. It's an assigned role and since I was once a little girl I know this.
 

As I’m sitting here, my husband is scrubbing the floors. His idea, I’ve never asked. I cook and he cleans up. He says that we both live in the house so we should both be doing the daily chores. He was a single parent for a few years so knows about maintaining a clean house. Knowing him, I expect his house was immaculate even when he was a bachelor.
 
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@Packerjohn although we both interrupted Mitch’s comments differently, I think you’ve said that you participated in the daily cleaning of the home.
 
Jules said:
As I’m sitting here, my husband is scrubbing the floors. His idea, I’ve never asked. I cook and he cleans up. He says that we both live in the house so we should both be being the daily chores. He was a single parent for a few years so knows about maintaining a clean house. Knowing him, I expect his house was immaculate even when he was a bachelor.
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I agree with your husband. (y)
 
oldiebutgoody said:
I realize that. My point being that if anyone wanted to enter my life she is welcomed along with her checkbook. ;)
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OK! My 2 cents worth which isn't a lot! I don't think that people should marry for money. I know some do but I think that they should marry for LOVE! I mean, marry someone for just money and end up everyday for the rest of your life looking across the table at someone you totally dislike or even stand the sight of. If you ask me, I would always marry for love no matter how poor she or I are rather than marry for money and end up being miserable for the rest of your life. Life is short and there is nothing like waking up in the morning and looking across the pillow to the person you love; I mean really love. Life cannot get better than this for all the "tea in China."
 
I have a wonderful man in my life. We met about a year ago. We don't live together and I'm not sure we ever will. And we've ruled out marriage because it's not a goal for either of us at this stage of our lives. We usually spend the weekends together at my house. He is constantly tinkering at little things that need repair around the house (which I love that he does this), he's probably a better cook than I am and he enjoys doing yard work. There is a lot of compatibility and friendship between us that has led to love.

The point I want to make is that neither of us felt we needed someone but rather that we wanted someone in our lives. And it seems to be working out nicely so far.
 
Jules said:
As I’m sitting here, my husband is scrubbing the floors. His idea, I’ve never asked. I cook and he cleans up. He says that we both live in the house so we should both be doing the daily chores. He was a single parent for a few years so knows about maintaining a clean house. Knowing him, I expect his house was immaculate even when he was a bachelor.
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You wouldn't believe how many men--from all walks of life, rich/poor, highly educated/not much education, religious/not religious--here in the U.S. do not feel that way at all. They may talk a good story about how there's no such thing as "women's work" or "men's work", but when push comes to shove, it always comes back to she's the only one doing the housework. (The few times that most husbands maybe empty the dishwasher, for instance, he expects a ticker tape parade to be thrown.) And I've never had kids, but talking to women that have it seems to always shake down that way with childcare too. And I hear it's really gotten worse with the Covid lockdown; both parents have been having to work from home but guess who's balancing the toddler on their knee while trying to do a Zoom call for work most of the time? Not dad.

And, it doesn't help that the U.S. stinks compared to most other first world countries when it comes to good options for childcare. As U.S. sociologist Jessica Calarco puts it, "Other countries have social safety nets. The U.S. has women." Only in the U.S. (I bet) is a mug like this for sale:

cvmug.jpg
 
katlupe said:
I am alone now for the first time in my life. I had to do everything I could to get out of a miserable marriage four years ago and I would never live with anyone ever again. I wish I had done it when I was in my twenties. I do though, have a relationship with a man who also lives alone. I told him right from the start that I will never live with him nor marry him and he understood. I think he actually likes it now. Having his own place and able to do what he wants.
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there is something to be said for that for sure-- it would have to be a remarkable woman for me....not likely....man maybe but not likely either -
 
I believe there are pluses and minuses of living alone. I have been divorced for many years and my son has moved out several years back so I have been alone, but I do have my cat to keep me company and she certainly does that. I also have my son near so I feel comfortable with that.
 
My grandfather's wife passed away when she was 57 years old. He quickly remarried to a woman who was 20 years younger. She was a saint who took care of him until he died at 98 y/o. She was a slave to his every whim and looked after him when he was bedridden. He was by no means wealthy so it wasn't for the money.

I felt so sorry for her when he bellowed out her name and insisted she take care of him. She was worn out when he passed away and didn't live for many years after he died. There is no way today's men should have these expectations of their wives.
 
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I said it before and I'll say it again...I don't want another one (man in my life), at least not for a serious relationship. I wouldn't mind having someone to go to events with but anything more serious... I don't feel like being bothered. Thing is, as a Muslim woman, I'm not supposed to be "hanging out" with a man anyway, if the intent isn't leading to marriage. And for me, that's not happening.
 
dseag2 said:
My grandfather's wife passed away when she was 57 years old. He quickly remarried to a woman who was 20 years younger. She was a saint who took care of him until he died at 98 y/o. She was a slave to his every whim and looked after him when he was bedridden. He was by no means wealthy so it wasn't for the money.

I felt so sorry for her when he bellowed out her name and insisted she take care of him. She was worn out when he passed away and didn't live for many years after he died. There is no way today's men should have these expectations their wive's.
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Maybe she needed a home and some security and that could be why she put up with him.
 
I have seven women living in my home. The youngest of them (50) is looking for a date but the rest are content with family and friends. We support and entertain one another. Through the years we have seen guys come and go. A couple were heartaches but most often the gal was good to be rid of them. There is a freedom to be ourselves that often gets put aside to fill the needs or wants of someone else. Single but not alone seems to work well here.
 
I have a single female friend who is now in her 60's. She and several other single friends decided to create what they called The Granny Palace where they would take care of each other as they got older. They were looking at homes in places like the San Juan Islands outside of Seattle. Their goal was to buy homes where they could live together and take care of each other as they aged. My friend is now looking to move closer to extended family, so I don't think they ever followed through but I think it is a great concept.
 
Jondalar7 said:
I have seven women living in my home. The youngest of them (50) is looking for a date but the rest are content with family and friends. We support and entertain one another. Through the years we have seen guys come and go. A couple were heartaches but most often the gal was good to be rid of them. There is a freedom to be ourselves that often gets put aside to fill the needs or wants of someone else. Single but not alone seems to work well here.
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This reminds me the last line of an episode in one of my favorite comedies, Living Single. The women friends, all who were upwardly mobile and looking to date, pondered what the world would be like without men. Queen Latifah's character said "A lot of fat, happy women and no crime". :ROFLMAO: @dseag2
 
Mitch86 said:
If folks live alone, they should always be on the lookout for someone of the opposite sex who is also living alone. Two lonely people can get together and never be alone again. I am married for 61 years now, BUT, if my partner died, I'd be looking for another mate. There is always someone out there who can be a companion to ease your loneliness if you agree to ease their loneliness.
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I’m always amazed at people who get on the forum and pontificate about things they know absolutely nothing about. When Mitch86 becomes a widower, starts looking for another mate, finds one, cohabitates with her, and it works out well, then he can tell us about the joys of replacing a former mate with a new one. In the meantime, he is clueless about the difficulties of, and in most cases the impossibility of, finding a suitable mate at his age.
 

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