Did you try to reinvent yourself later in life and find that it was already too late?

RFW

RFW

Certified Night Owl
Location
United States
I always wanted to dress nice and look stylish but I never had a good reason and money to do that. Now I do it to feel good about myself, to live the life I dreamed of-the path not taken. I'm not ashamed of my old profession but when I was young, I wanted to climb the corporate ladder, have a nice office job but my intellect was lacking. I didn't have a degree until much later. I graduated with an associate degree in criminal justice. I was the only old man in my class. It was easy as it was something I had done my whole life. I did it just to say I finally made it even though my parents who really cared about it were already dead. It was nice to be looked up to by the young people excited for the job they would love to get once they graduated.

No, I don't have a $5000 Tom Ford suit. I don't live beyond my means. Though, I spoil myself sometimes. I bought a nice SUV that some 30 years ago I could never afford. I don't want to be seen as someone who used to roll around in the muck all the time. I think all this gives people the wrong impression and expectation. My friends next town over were kind enough to invite me over a few times. They talked politics and had a negative outlook on what I used to do for a living. I didn't feel the need to announce it either. I just nodded and agreed with what they said to not ruin their day. It's not easy to speak my mind without anonymity. I prefer it this way; make peace when I can.

I do enjoy hearing people's life stories. No one story is the same.
 

Did you try to reinvent yourself later in life and find that it was already too late?
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Well, I've had to reinvent myself several times, and IMO it's never too late. I've had to reinvent myself after:
After returning from Vietnam
After each of my previous marriages
After a prolonged medical treatment
After retiring
No doubt there will be future reinventions...
 

I am reinventing myself but not for others. I study metaphysics, the cosmos, literature, ancient religions, philosophy.
I'm deep into writing now; poetry, books, articles, stories., plus I always paint and do bronze sculpting.
I don't do any of this for others. This is for my own spiritual growth.
Actually, My art, political beliefs and my spiritual books have lost me all my friends. But, I have to be who I am!

I'm proud of you for going after your degree, just for yourself! Keep learning and keep reinventing!
Criminal justice sounds like an intriguing subject!
 
I have looked at myself who has gone through and defeated two bouts of Cancer and honestly I can say I have not reinvented myself from my earlier days. I am still the same liberated women I was back in the day when I was growing up. Always making decisions for myself and dealing with the consequences of those decisions as well. We say to ourselves that times have changed and yes in some ways they have and in others they have not. Technology has certainly advanced since I was young. Some for the good and some not so good. Issues however they may seem slanted in a different perspective a lot of it is still the same and people still pass there judgement upon these issues just as they did in the past. I am exactly the same in that manner. I still have my same views I had back when I was younger. Some may take on a different meaning or purpose in this day and age, but I still hold onto the same view. So no I have not reinvented myself one bit.
 
I see nothing wrong with reinventing yourself. Especially if it is positive and makes you feel good about yourself. I’m starting over after a divorce and being married to a philanderer. Learning to try to trust again, becoming a person who builds new friendships and with new types of people. I also am on dialysis and awaiting my second kidney transplant. I’m looking forward to new beginnings and what’s next in life. I think I’m having to shed my old self as a victim and sick person. Of course I’m not ashamed of my scars. Just a new beginning. A better version of myself.
 
RFW said:
I always wanted to dress nice and look stylish but I never had a good reason and money to do that. Now I do it to feel good about myself, to live the life I dreamed of-the path not taken. I'm not ashamed of my old profession but when I was young, I wanted to climb the corporate ladder, have a nice office job but my intellect was lacking. I didn't have a degree until much later. I graduated with an associate degree in criminal justice. I was the only old man in my class. It was easy as it was something I had done my whole life. I did it just to say I finally made it even though my parents who really cared about it were already dead. It was nice to be looked up to by the young people excited for the job they would love to get once they graduated.

No, I don't have a $5000 Tom Ford suit. I don't live beyond my means. Though, I spoil myself sometimes. I bought a nice SUV that some 30 years ago I could never afford. I don't want to be seen as someone who used to roll around in the muck all the time. I think all this gives people the wrong impression and expectation. My friends next town over were kind enough to invite me over a few times. They talked politics and had a negative outlook on what I used to do for a living. I didn't feel the need to announce it either. I just nodded and agreed with what they said to not ruin their day. It's not easy to speak my mind without anonymity. I prefer it this way; make peace when I can.

I do enjoy hearing people's life stories. No one story is the same.
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You do look nice and stylish dear. I would say you succeeded. 🤗

For myself, I like who I am and who I was. No hassles about reinventing myself now. At this point, it's just a matter of preservation.
 
Jan14 said:
I see nothing wrong with reinventing yourself. Especially if it is positive and makes you feel good about yourself. I’m starting over after a divorce and being married to a philanderer. Learning to try to trust again, becoming a person who builds new friendships and with new types of people. I also am on dialysis and awaiting my second kidney transplant. I’m looking forward to new beginnings and what’s next in life. I think I’m having to shed my old self as a victim and sick person. Of course I’m not ashamed of my scars. Just a new beginning. A better version of myself.
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yes I am doing the same :(..it's very raw only a few months ago I thought I was happily married for 21 years .. so I don't know about re-inventing myself..I don't even know what that really means.. surely I'd have to change from being me...and I can't even see how I could or would want to do that..:unsure:
 
I've tried at times to be more assertive, outgoing and less of an introvert but I didn't like being those things and it was a lot of work. I decided I feel more comfortable and suited to sit in the back of the room, decline invitations to parties and get togethers . Let others take the floor if they are so inclined.
I'll just relax in my bathtub. Read a book, enjoy my hobbies and let the rest of the world go by.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
I've tried at times to be more assertive, outgoing and less of an introvert but I didn't like being those things and it was a lot of work. I decided I feel more comfortable and suited to sit in the back of the room, decline invitations to parties and get togethers . Let others take the floor if they are so inclined.
I'll just relax in my bathtub. Read a book, enjoy my hobbies and let the rest of the world go by.
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Definitely me too. When I go to party, I say hi to people and then find a dark corner somewhere and stand by myself.
 
hollydolly said:
yes I am doing the same :(..it's very raw only a few months ago I thought I was happily married for 21 years .. so I don't know about re-inventing myself..I don't even know what that really means.. surely I'd have to change from being me...and I can't even see how I could or would want to do that..:unsure:
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@hollydolly I think the first question you need to ask yourself does the situation you are now in warrant you to change who you are or are you happy to move on with life just the way you are? Sure things are going to be different and I know you surely are aware of that. Some things are going to be a challenge and some things are actually going to seem better. Like you said right now it is all so raw and everything is in that process mode so take your time to figure it all out.

I went through all of this a long time ago when my Ex and I divorced and it took time to process things that happened, but when the dust settled I looked at myself and I was the same person and in many ways an even stronger person than I was when it all started.

Also like @Pepper said we are all here for you. Positive support is a major thing you need right now.
 

Did you try to reinvent yourself later in life and find that it was already too late?​


More like finally doing what I've always wanted to do.
The day after retirement, we moved to our mountain cabin.

zqXb3Cz.jpg

our back yard in winter.jpg

We proved it's never too late.

If you want to and you can.....do it.
 

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