Are you happy for people to just drop in to visit at your home without any notice ?

Murrmurr said:
Michelle and I disagree on this one. She wants advanced notice. My kids always text a message like "On our way over" or ask they'll if we'll be home on Saturday or whatever, but I don't care if people just show up.

My grandson's friend, Jesse, who's my neighbor's kid, he shows up at dinner time sometimes and I'll say "If you're hungry, grab a plate" and about half the time, he does. That drives Michelle nuts. But she doesn't say anything to him, though, she just kind of gets on my ass about it. But honestly, I don't think the kid actually knows what time it is, I think he's just hoping to find Kirk here for the evening or the weekend. And sometimes he comes here to get away from his older brother, which is cool any time, day or night.

Anyway, Michelle prefers advanced notice, I don't care, and my kids always give advanced notice anyway. Sometimes just 15-minutes notice, but Michelle seems ok enough with that.
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Same here: I want advance notice and my Huzz comes from a family and an area where it was considered rude to not drop in on people. He came from people for whom the women never worked outside the home--not because they were wealthy, mind you; rather because usually no one attended school after the 8th grade--so they were able to keep the house pretty neat all the time and were always cooking, cooking, cooking anyway so there was lots to serve visitors. So he'd love that now that we're retired but too bad: I've had it up to here with domesticity; I am SICK of it.
 
officerripley said:
Same here: I want advance notice and my Huzz comes from a family and an area where it was considered rude to not drop in on people. He came from people for whom the women never worked outside the home--not because they were wealthy, mind you; rather because usually no one attended school after the 8th grade--so they were able to keep the house pretty neat all the time and were always cooking, cooking, cooking anyway so there was lots to serve visitors. So he'd love that now that we're retired but too bad: I've had it up to here with domesticity; I am SICK of it.
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It's funny/odd (to me), the old ladies in my family, the Italian-Jews and the Irish, seemed to love cooking for everyone right up until the next generation of ladies forced them to hand over the freaking spoon. But, like you, my sister Bonnie is SICK of it. Same with most of our female cousins. Bonnie worked and still does, and most of our cousins did/do too.

That must be part of the reason. Work takes it's toll on your mood as well as your body, you know? I was pretty sick of cooking by the time my kids were in high school, so I put cooking on their chore lists. They each had to cook one day a week and Saturdays were either dine out, pizza delivery, or every-man-for-himself, which gave me 4 days off from kitchen duties.
 
People, even family members know not to do that. First of all, it's a locked apartment building and if I'm not expecting someone, I won't answer the door. I had a cousin who not only welcomed unexpected visitors, she always had enough food to feed them.
 
Murrmurr said:
like you, my sister Bonnie is SICK of it. Same with most of our female cousins. Bonnie worked and still does, and most of our cousins did/do too.

That must be part of the reason. Work takes it's toll on your mood as well as your body, you know?
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Yep, I worked for 30+ years at a job that I disliked--sometimes hated--but couldn't afford to quit and now I'm doing housework and taking care of all the bills, scheduling medical appointments, etc. and I. Am. Tired.
 
Used to do that a lot when we were young mothers, stuck at home with babies and toddlers, and we are all glad to see another adult human being during the day, when our husbands were out at work. And the visiting neighbor was probably desperate for adult company also.

But now? No way! That sounds kind of retro, anyway. I don't think too many people do that any more. We have too many options and activities, and who has time to sit around sipping coffee and gossiping with a neighbor?
 
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As I've gotten older, I not only prefer people to call and schedule a visit, but I prefer to meet them in a public place for coffee, lunch, etc...

My older sister has taken exception with this and is convinced that I've become a hoarder. :giggle:

My little apartment is actually quite nice, but I would rather not show it off or open myself up to a million little judgments and criticisms.
 
I love to have company. there are 1 or 2people that I don't mind little to no notice. But even just an hour is good, so I can be properly dressed and not be in the middle of something. Others should give me notice as soon as they know they will be in the area. Today people tend to not drop in unexpectedly.
 

Are you happy for people to just drop in to visit at your home without any notice ?​


I've just sharpened my sword, filled the barrels over the portcullis with boiling oil, and loaded the machine gun. The grapevine intelligence is telling me that a former neighbour and his wife are in the locallity. 😊
 
I don’t mind drop ins. I don’t primp for visitors, and my house is always clean and tidy, fridge stocked, so it’s not an issue.

That said, in this day and age of cell phones there’s really no excuse for not calling or texting before we get drop in visitors and that’s pretty much the norm here. Our various children will often text if they’re in the area to see if they can swing by. A couple of them live close to an hour away, so when they head to town they might need to make a pit stop before they head home again.

When family is close by, no matter where they live, they’ll often swing by to say hi after texting to make sure we’re home. They all know that we’re active and may well be out of the house, so a call or text is always advised to save them a trip if we’re not home.
 

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