A littly rocky with my 42 year old daughter and her Sister n Law

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Talon1952

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G'day everyone, Ok first off I am a single living alone senior who will be 70 in May (to help you know where I'm at)

Now, the other day It was my Daughters Birthday and all the In-laws (2) myself and the 2 kids were there (Granddaughter 12 Grandson 8)

I instigated a conversation which though was very important to discuss as my GD is starting to show normal interest in boys and she is very attractive for her age,

the discussion was should she be allowed to go to school with her midriff showing and that parents of young males need to set the boundaries for their boys at that age which is fine,

my comment to that was yes, but not all parents will take the time to do that and just let their boys be boys and Biology will just take it's course

and somehow it got turned into the right for women to dress as they feel and not be sexually gratified by their male peers,

I replied why not just remove the option of clothing style in the first place and that removes the risk, that's when all hell broke loose, next thing I know the kids aunt is telling me to F-Off,

now I'm upset, daughter is upset etc..I said nothing when this happened as the kids were present, much later I informed my Daughter that any more functions that were going to be all included I would not attend as to avoid any future conflict going forward not to mention it will be extremely uncomfortable for me to be present after this episode, so please inform me if the Aunt was going to be present or not,

A bit of back story on the Aunt, she is approx. 45 has a good job, single never been in a relationship and obese ( I believe she simply hates men) and still lives with her mother (she does contribute to the household), she has, in the past made a habit of always correcting me and others over a wide variety of topics,

she has done this so often that anytime the group is together I avoid any meaningful conversation at all for fear of being corrected in front of the kids, which to me is a huge no no. (I am the only surviving Male Grandparent), so have I made a huge error here or what?

Things are going to be awkward enough with the son in law and his mom when we next get together never mind throwing her into the mix.


Thanks in advance for any comments or suggestions
Talon1952

- reformatted for easy read by JonSR77
 

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I tried reading your post and couldn't finish unfortunately. PLEASE USE punctuation to separate sentences and divide up an extremely long post into paragraphs. I know I'll probably get bashed for this post and be called a punctuation nazi or something, but honestly I can't read posts like that.
 
caroln said:
I tried reading your post and couldn't finish unfortunately. PLEASE USE punctuation to separate sentences and divide up an extremely long post into paragraphs. I know I'll probably get bashed for this post and be called a punctuation nazi or something, but honestly I can't read posts like that.
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I don't think you should get bashed for such a comment; it is extremely difficult to parse out what a person is trying to communicate when punctuation is missing. I have the same trouble and usually give up.

@Talon1952 , I'm sure many want to read your post and are interested in what you have to say; it's not you, but the ease of communication at issue. :) I'll try pasting it to a speech to text reader.
 

You are entitled to your opinion. Too bad it upset the aunt. In a case like this I try not to make any hasty decisions while miffed. Aunt shouldn't have told you to F off, but what can you do, punching her in the mouth would have made you look bad. You don't want to miss family functions just because you don't like one member. I don't like most of my two son's in-laws but I go anyway to see my sons and the grand kids. Wish the in-laws didn't exist sometimes, but not my call.
 
Sorry, IMO, you made a big error and in my experience families can fight like maniacs & still be families.

I believe your words were taken to mean that sexual advances to a young girl is all her fault because she's not dressed in a burkah (lol) and they were saying a boy must be taught self-control--tell that to Will Smith, btw--and not to give into their impulses. If they were suggesting a boy could be talked out of having impulses, boy are they wrong, but learning to control their impulses and why is a good thing to teach any boy.

As for the fighting, I grew up with that form of communication. We're estranged now, not surprisingly, so I'm used to that stuff.

As the only living grandpa, you should be at most functions. It's for the kids, get over yourself and learn you can't please these folks and just shut up!

Please take the grammatical advice offered by @caroln. Thanks in advance for that and welcome.
 
caroln said:
I tried reading your post and couldn't finish unfortunately. PLEASE USE punctuation to separate sentences and divide up an extremely long post into paragraphs. I know I'll probably get bashed for this post and be called a punctuation nazi or something, but honestly I can't read posts like that.
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Thanks for your input, I can clearly see this is not the place for me...Good luck to all bye.
 
I would have told her to not be so nasty, especially not in front of the children.
How the children are handled is up to their parents, which unfortunately is not always a good thing.
So I would keep that in mind, but also certainly speak your mind when warranted and don't let anyone talk to you in that manner.
Hey, don't leave. Not everyone thinks the same way. šŸ˜‡
.
 
What do you mean by removing the option of clothing style? Are you talking about something like uniforms?
Or is the above irrelevant and your question/comment is more about familial conflict and you're needing support?
If the above is the case, I feel for you and sympathize; it can be so extremely uncomfortable/painful when there is conflict in a family, especially when trying to get everyone together to have a good time.
If you want an opinion about the boy/girl/sex/clothes thing, I have one, but will keep it to myself if that is not your goal here.
 
caroln said:
Oh dear, I think I offended him with my suggestions. I didn't realize punctuation was such a touchy subject. I tried to be nice.
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Oh, wow. Well, that was... huh. Okay, then.
It's a shame though, as there are so many great people here who would listen and try to help. Case in point, you guys are here trying to help. @Talon1952 I hope you come back and try again. The people here are very nice and no one meant to offend you.
 
Pepper said:
Well, I wrote that tome for nothing! šŸ˜
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We can discuss the topic more freely now!:D

One: Talon said the aunt shouldn't have told him to F-off while the kids were there. No she shouldn't have and as someone a generation younger she never should talk to Talon that way.

However. Talon never should have brought up a 12 year-old girl's midriff in front of her and a group of people. That is the most sensitive age in the world! If he wanted to talk about it privately with the girl's mother. Okay, I guess, but better not, because we can probably take it for granted that the girl's mother has already decided to pick her battles about clothing and such and midriff exposure is not at the top of her list. Lip rings and tattoos might be a bigger worry.
 
caroln said:
I tried reading your post and couldn't finish unfortunately. PLEASE USE punctuation to separate sentences and divide up an extremely long post into paragraphs. I know I'll probably get bashed for this post and be called a punctuation nazi or something, but honestly I can't read posts like that.
Click to expand...
Considering that this was a first post I might be offended by your reply, also no need for shouting. Yes we all have our opinions it was just not very kind. When I went to college I was told that I wrote differently from my class mates. The prof mentioned that the english used long and laborious sentences, so I changed the way I wrote to conform.
 
RobinWren said:
Considering that this was a first post I might be offended by your reply, also no need for shouting. Yes we all have our opinions it was just not very kind. When I went to college I was told that I wrote differently from my class mates. The prof mentioned that the english used long and laborious sentences, so I changed the way I wrote to conform.
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You're probably right; it might have put me off as well, as a response to my first post, but I can't help but empathize with @caroln . It really is so very frustrating, trying to read a wall of text.
 
caroln said:
I tried reading your post and couldn't finish unfortunately. PLEASE USE punctuation to separate sentences and divide up an extremely long post into paragraphs. I know I'll probably get bashed for this post and be called a punctuation nazi or something, but honestly I can't read posts like that.
Click to expand...
If it's any consolation, I too found the post rather hard to read. Interesting but not easy to read.
 
The way the post is written makes it rather tough to follow and understand. I believe it is about some young lass showing her mid-riffs or whatever you call it. I might be an "over the hill" type of guy but the mid-riffs do not impress me. A belly button is just a belly button. I have one too and I never look at it. Why should I give a "hoot" about some girl's belly button? Furthermore, ditto for all the "ladies" out there showing their boobs with only the nipples covered up. I believe this sex appeal stuff is driven by magazines, the media and Hollywood movies. If you ask for my 5 cents, my preference for ladies/girls is someone with a lovely personality who can carry on an intelligent conversation and who has a kind heart. I bet I'm in some sort of minority group when it comes to these "matters-of-the-heart."
 
@Talon1952, Welcome to the forum, I hope you reconsider and decide to stay.
I usually skip reading long posts(just my ADD,or is ADHD or) however the lack punctuation didn't offend me, and I did read and understand. Apparently the aunt didn't believe a male was allowed to comment on a females attire, despite the fact that you are a blood relative with only the young lady's best interest at heart. Stand your ground, please don't back away from family get togethers just because of some rude & crude aunt, who's not even a blood relative.
 
Nathan said:
@Talon1952, Welcome to the forum, I hope you reconsider and decide to stay.
I usually skip reading long posts(just my ADD,or is ADHD or) however the lack punctuation didn't offend me, and I did read and understand. Apparently the aunt didn't believe a male was allowed to comment on a females attire, despite the fact that you are a blood relative with only the young lady's best interest at heart. Stand your ground, please don't back away from family get togethers just because of some rude & crude aunt, who's not even a blood relative.
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As @Della said: "However. Talon never should have brought up a 12 year-old girl's midriff in front of her and a group of people. That is the most sensitive age in the world! If he wanted to talk about it privately with the girl's mother."

Girls that age are very self-conscious, so the conversation, like Della suggested, should be private without the girl within hearing distance.
 
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