What's your "take" on the following?

Yes, I agree. People do change and things do go wrong and life does go on. Those are facts but I also sense hurt in this post. Someone has been hurt, badly, by something and saying those things will just make it worse. It's better to discuss than negate it.
 
Kaila said:
In some ways, we do change a lot. Every one of us does, I agree.

Yet, there are also ways we each stay the same individual person, we are.:)
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I prefer to think/talk in terms of growth. Just as our physical body undergo changes as it grows yet is still same person so do our minds and spirits grow but we generally still have same basic character and values-- but we may become more flexible (or sadly sometimes more rigid) in regard to allowing others their beliefs and ways.

We also may learn to express ourselves In ways that are more clear and assertive (as opposed to aggressive); hopefully we learn some tact while remembering there will be occasions that one must drop the tact to impress on someone where your houndaries are.
 
I agree with all of the above except for all of us staying the same in the essential part of who we are. Unfortunately, that's not true for those who get Alzheimers or some other form of dementia or some brain diseases/injuries. I've had some experience with people it's happened to (I think starting with someone right now) and they really do become no longer themselves which is heartbreaking.
 
officerripley said:
I agree with all of the above except for all of us staying the same in the essential part of who we are. Unfortunately, that's not true for those who get Alzheimers or some other form of dementia or some brain diseases/injuries. I've had some experience with people it's happened to (I think starting with someone right now) and they really do become no longer themselves which is heartbreaking.
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But that is physical malfunction of the brain , not a choice or natural evolving of personality.
 
Murrmurr said:
So what about Personality?

Outside influences/Conditioning,
Genetics/Born that way,
Brain function/Neurology,
or all of the above?
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Most likely a mix. And for me 'born that way' is more about our souls, eternal consciousness than about genetics. Also different individuals would not necessarily have the same ratio of input from each 'component'.
 
feywon said:
Most likely a mix. And for me 'born that way' is more about our souls, eternal consciousness than about genetics. Also different individuals would not necessarily have the same ratio of input from each 'component'.
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Very true. You have to take trauma into account. Trauma can potentially effect every aspect of ones personality no matter what their "inborn" propensities are. Depends on ones inner strength, I suppose.

Using my former foster son as an example; he lived with me for nearly 3yrs. When he had to go live with his mother, he left here a happy, affectionate, helpful child, social, adventurous and eager to learn. A bit of an extrovert. Only 3 months after living with his mother, he'd become sullen and fearful, extremely anxious, angry, prone to emotional meltdowns, and had lost interest in learning. No longer an extrovert, but introspective and somewhat meek.
 
So, sorry to hear about your foster son, i think you've talked about him before and i always find it heartbreaking. I wish our system did not hold to the notion that biological parents are best for the child. There needs to a system of advocates who look more objectively at what would be best for the child.

And absolutely, trauma can be a huge factor in shaping people. I've seen it in family members, friends and myself. But healing processes can sometimes counterbalance .
 
feywon said:
So, sorry to hear about your foster son, i think you've talked about him before and i always find it heartbreaking. I wish our system did not hold to the notion that biological parents are best for the child. There needs to a system of advocates who look more objectively at what would be best for the child.

And absolutely, trauma can be a huge factor in shaping people. I've seen it in family members, friends and myself. But healing processes can sometimes counterbalance .
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Tragically, the family court system and child protective services equate "reunification" with success, and it's "success" that keeps the bank open.
 
The message I get from reading Jace's quote is that even if we're down one day, the next day can be different. There's hope in that message. Hope that things can be better. Someone had once said to go with the flow, like a river. Go with the flow....

I have experienced bad situations throughout my life (health, relationships, money, etc), and somehow, everything always turned out better. I can speak from experience. :)
 
I believe Harry had it right....

And all the changes
Keep on changing
And the good old days
They say they're gone.
Only wise men
And some new born fools
Say they know what's going on.
But I sometimes think the difference is
Just in how I think and see
And the only changes going on
Are going on in me.

 
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