Neighbor Problem - What Would You Do?

You all make good points about this situation. After giving it some more thought I think it is the fact that he didn’t talk to me before he changed the set up and just assumed I would be alright with it is what got me somewhat unhappy. I should have remembered that this is something he would do. It’s just his personality, bossy, knows more than anyone else, etc. I offered the paper (though I didn’t mention a reason) basically in return for little kindnesses he does like pulling the trash cart back to the house on trash day or blowing leaves and other debris out of our adjoining driveways. I value their friendship so I will not bring it up unless he does. I don’t know if I can get a digital paper access only. I’m sure it would be less expensive so I need to check.
That seems to me to be the wise decision J-Kat.

Good neighbors do things for one another without "keeping score". Good neighbors forgive their neighbors their occasional missteps. Yes, the neighbor should have spoken with you first, but it would be sad to see what appears to be a nice, healthy relationship degraded over something as small as this.

JMHO
 

I offered the paper (though I didn’t mention a reason) basically in return for little kindnesses he does like pulling the trash cart back to the house on trash day or blowing leaves and other debris out of our adjoining driveways. I value their friendship so I will not bring it up unless he does.
Ah, that's making more sense
Good neighbors do things for one another without "keeping score". Good neighbors forgive their neighbors their occasional missteps. Yes, the neighbor should have spoken with you first, but it would be sad to see what appears to be a nice, healthy relationship degraded over something as small as this.
Yup
 

@J-Kat .. Since you don't read the newspaper, it makes sense for it to be delivered to the neighbour's door. He probably thought you wouldn't mind, or care.
 
You all make good points about this situation. After giving it some more thought I think it is the fact that he didn’t talk to me before he changed the set up and just assumed I would be alright with it is what got me somewhat unhappy. I should have remembered that this is something he would do. It’s just his personality, bossy, knows more than anyone else, etc. I offered the paper (though I didn’t mention a reason) basically in return for little kindnesses he does like pulling the trash cart back to the house on trash day or blowing leaves and other debris out of our adjoining driveways. I value their friendship so I will not bring it up unless he does. I don’t know if I can get a digital paper access only. I’m sure it would be less expensive so I need to check.


Your opening post calls it a 'Problem' ... and it's been going on for "a few years"

If you continue to pay for his newspaper, I would just make sure that you are getting $40 worth of 'acts of kindness' from this bossy neighbor. ... maybe mow your lawn? :)

You feel intimidated because you are a woman?
 
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Your opening post calls it a 'Problem' ...

If you continue to pay for his newspaper, I would just make sure that you are getting $40 worth of 'acts of kindness' from this bossy neighbor. ... maybe mow your lawn? :)

You feel intimidated because you are a woman?
Wow, Bonnie, you asked a very pertinent question!
 
It's not worth having bad feelings with a neighbor over something as trivial as this. You did give him permission to take your newspaper, so what's the big deal whether it's delivered to your house or his? Also, I obviously don't know the age or the physical condition of this neighbor, but maybe it's hard for him to walk over?

Even if not, you did give him a very kind gift; I think you should let it be. I also agree with those who are wondering why you are paying for a print copy that you never read anyway.

I do get the print copy of my paper, because I'm old-fashioned when it comes to newspapers. Breakfast just wouldn't seem normal without the paper propped up in front of me.
 
My first question is why on earth pay $40 a month for a paper you can read online?! Were you being extra nice by continuing to pay this price so your neighbors could read the paper? You are not wrong to feel "some type of way about it" but maybe your neighbor felt that since you didn't mind him taking it out of your box without asking, there would be no harm in having it delivered to his place instead. Faulty reasoning no doubt but as the saying goes, "Give a person an arm and they'll try to take a leg". IF you can get the paper online at a lesser price and IF you can get it online without getting the printed version delivered, I'd cancel it. One of our local papers ran a special six months of the digital version for only $1 then $9.99 per month afterward.

@JonSR77 I usually love your posts and we seem to agree on many things but not this. Why should the OP be extra nice to someone who has obviously taken advantage? To me that's like rewarding rude, bad behavior. They should be happy to have gotten access to the paper for so long in the first place and if anything...be extra nice to the OP. If the husband gets upset at the OP because a paper he is not paying for gets stopped, then not having him as a friend is a good thing.
 
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You all make good points about this situation. After giving it some more thought I think it is the fact that he didn’t talk to me before he changed the set up and just assumed I would be alright with it is what got me somewhat unhappy. I should have remembered that this is something he would do. It’s just his personality, bossy, knows more than anyone else, etc. I offered the paper (though I didn’t mention a reason) basically in return for little kindnesses he does like pulling the trash cart back to the house on trash day or blowing leaves and other debris out of our adjoining driveways. I value their friendship so I will not bring it up unless he does. I don’t know if I can get a digital paper access only. I’m sure it would be less expensive so I need to check.
We have been getting our paper delivered for decades, my husband likes to read it with his morning coffee. For the past year or so the service has gone downhill, and the paper is missing between one and four days a week. When I call them on it, they will give a credit, but it's nonsense, I want the paper delivered to my home, that is what I pay for. Just got off the phone with them again, they always lie and say it will be there and they never deliver. I'd be very thankful to have a neighbor like you who was generous enough to let me have yours.

I would have been happy to make the short walk to your house to pick it up also. There is no way I would take advantage of you and without your permission, have them deliver it to my door. That shows you no respect. The neighbor is a jerk, a bossy know it all, and his wife should keep him in line if he's that way with people.

I sweep, blow and maintain the area of my neighbor's driveway voluntarily for years now because I have a row of hedges there that drop leaves, catch debris from the wind, etc. My neighbors, including myself always shovel each other's sidewalks and walkways when possible, etc. Your neighbor is good for helping with the trash bin and leaves, but that's no pass to being rude, disrespectful and controlling with you.

I bet if you check online and the digital copy only is cheaper and you decide to cancel the physical paper delivery, the neighbor will be PO'd at you anyway. Follow your gut in how you react, but I would at least mention how you feel about it....that would be the least I would do. Good luck.
 
If you continue to pay for his newspaper, I would just make sure that you are getting $40 worth of 'acts of kindness' from this bossy neighbor. ... maybe mow your lawn? :)

You feel intimidated because you are a woman?
Oh, please give me a break. No, not intimidated in the least. I’m just a nice and considerate person who has been taken advantage of by a bossy, controlling, know it all and I knew that. I don’t want to ruin a neighborly relationship over what is really a trivial matter. I do plan to check with the paper about less expensive options though.
 
Nothing earth shattering but it's been gnawing at me that I may be looking at it all wrong. A few years ago I told my neighbors they could take my newspaper that I have delivered daily after they had complained about how expensive the paper was and had cut back to weekends only.

Since I typically read the paper on my ipad I seldom even look at the printed paper and it just goes into the recycling bin. I am more friends with the wife of this couple but the significant other is nice enough.

The paper delivery lady puts the paper by my side door but I noticed my security camera did not show the paper being delivered or the neighbor picking it up for the last few days. Thinking I should call the paper office to check on the problem I first called the wife of the couple to see if they knew anything. The neighbor said her SO told the delivery lady to put the paper by his garage door so he would not have to walk over to my door to get it. She said she thought he had asked me about it first but he did not. I told her it was okay.

But, after thinking about it, I don't think I like it. Number one, he didn't ask me about a different arrangement, number 2, the delivery person should not have agreed without checking with me, and number 3, I pay for the darn paper - nearly $40/month - so it should come to my door. Am I being silly or should I just leave it be?
Your paying nearly 40.00 a month for a paper you don't read? Why? That's 40.00 a month you could spend on stuff you want or need or like or just save. Let the neighbors pay for their own paper or do without, not your problem. Cancel your subscription.
 
Nothing earth shattering but it's been gnawing at me that I may be looking at it all wrong. A few years ago I told my neighbors they could take my newspaper that I have delivered daily after they had complained about how expensive the paper was and had cut back to weekends only.

Since I typically read the paper on my ipad I seldom even look at the printed paper and it just goes into the recycling bin. I am more friends with the wife of this couple but the significant other is nice enough.

The paper delivery lady puts the paper by my side door but I noticed my security camera did not show the paper being delivered or the neighbor picking it up for the last few days. Thinking I should call the paper office to check on the problem I first called the wife of the couple to see if they knew anything. The neighbor said her SO told the delivery lady to put the paper by his garage door so he would not have to walk over to my door to get it. She said she thought he had asked me about it first but he did not. I told her it was okay.

But, after thinking about it, I don't think I like it. Number one, he didn't ask me about a different arrangement, number 2, the delivery person should not have agreed without checking with me, and number 3, I pay for the darn paper - nearly $40/month - so it should come to my door. Am I being silly or should I just leave it be?
Quote from post #1.

"A few years ago I told my neighbors they could take my newspaper that I have delivered daily after they had complained about how expensive the paper was and had cut back to weekends only."

Then this
Quote
"She said she thought he had asked me about it first but he did not. I told her it was okay."

Paying then OK'ing the new delivery is easy to solve. To keep good relations which you want to do. Just explain that you decided to stop delivery of the paper. You can truthfully explain that you intend to save expense too by using internet news sources.
 
Oh, please give me a break. No, not intimidated in the least. I’m just a nice and considerate person who has been taken advantage of by a bossy, controlling, know it all and I knew that. I don’t want to ruin a neighborly relationship over what is really a trivial matter. I do plan to check with the paper about less expensive options though.
Your intentions were obvious, not enough nice and considerate folks around these days, and many times unfortunately, they are taken advantage of.

Our paper wasn't delivered again yesterday and today, I call on those mornings and demand a credit and complain that they are not holding up their end of the business deal and are stealing from their customers. My husband always made those calls, I just started dealing with them very recently.

My husband used the laptop to read the digital version yesterday and today. He said he was considering after all these decades to just not renew the subscription due to the increasingly poor customer service, and he could tolerate reading it online, although he always prefers to have the paper in his hands and will read books but never had an interest to read a book on a Kindle or anything.

I told him that you preferred to read yours on your tablet as opposed to the paper. He thinks your neighbor is a creep for doing what he did and didn't deserve your kindness. Anyhoo, he may dump the home delivery in the future when it's time to renew. Have you said anything to the neighbor?
 
Before we throw any more of our 2 cent opinions, it would help if @J-Kat found out the difference in price between online & paper vs just online. If the difference is just a few dollars, I’d let the neighbour keep on having the paper delivered to his house. If more, she could suggest the neighbours make up the difference because she’s going to cancel in paper version.
 
Before we throw any more of our 2 cent opinions, it would help if @J-Kat found out the difference in price between online & paper vs just online. If the difference is just a few dollars, I’d let the neighbour keep on having the paper delivered to his house. If more, she could suggest the neighbours make up the difference because she’s going to cancel in paper version.
Makes sense because she did say it was OK for the neighbor to continue what he was doing.
 
I have real good neighbors now , all it took is for me to go have a real good talk to the meanish of the bunch, and they have been the best sense we moved in 10 years ago.
 

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